


Why Don't You & I

by Whedonist



Series: Why Don't You and I [1]
Category: Nikki & Nora
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-16
Updated: 2013-04-16
Packaged: 2017-12-08 15:25:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 52,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/762957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whedonist/pseuds/Whedonist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A version of Nikki & Nora's back story and how they came to be what they are.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Despite All This

**Author's Note:**

> Like most stories, this one starts out with a 'what if?' and 'how?'...from there it snow balls. At the beginning of this, the first two chapters, I was learning the characters, by Ch. 3, I was comfortable enough to write in first person P.O.V. sorry if the switch is off putting, but the series is better for it. 
> 
> Additionally, the mistakes are all mine, sorry about that, maybe one day when I'm not working 70 hour weeks I'll go back and fix it, for now, just look the other way, no one will know the difference. 
> 
> Lastly, thanks for reading.

The closet doors swung open and Nora shoved a few shirts to the side to make room for the freshly laundered clothing.  It was one of the tall blonde's least favorite chores..   She didn’t mind dishes or sweeping the floors.  Hell, even cleaning the bathrooms and windows was preferable to doing her laundry.  Yet, here she found herself every Sunday, separating and folding to make sure she had clean clothes for the week.

Turning to her bed, she grabbed the shirts and pants that were on hangers and put them away.  Sighing, she wiped her hands on her jeans and looked around her room.  It wasn’t the biggest apartment in the world, but it fit her just fine.   She was one of three people that shared the two bedroom apartment.  It sat amongst a set of apartment buildings that promised students of the University of New Orleans off-campus housing. 

She’d been living here since she started at the university two and a half years ago.  At twenty-one years old, Nora Marie Delany graduated with an Associates of Arts in Criminal Justice and was studying for the entrance exam to the New Orleans Police Department.   With any luck, she’d have a beat and a badge this time next year. 

Satisfied that the place was clean enough, she grabbed her keys and purse off her dresser and headed out.   Running through the small list of things, she decided to swing by Tommy’s first and pick him up.  They could hit the grocery store together before heading over to her parents' for dinner.  

Traffic was light on a Sunday evening and before long she was double parked outside Tommy’s house.  She honked the horn and he appeared a few minutes later.  Slipping off her sunglasses she watched as his mother came out behind him and waved at Nora.  Nora smiled and waved back as she waited for her boyfriend to get in the car. 

“Hi babe,” he said as he slipped into the passenger seat and leaned over to give her a kiss. 

Nora accepted the kiss, feeling the stubble grate on her cheek.  “Hey you.”  She returned his smile as she slipped her sunglasses back on.   She signaled and moved her car back into the flow of traffic. 

Signaling for a left hand turn, she asked, “So, did you happen to take a look at those apartments?”

He’d been living with his mother since graduating high school.  While that wasn’t a complete area of contention, it had started to be an aggravating factor once he graduated from the trade school and landed a job as a full time mechanic at one of the best car dealers in New Orleans.   She liked the man.  They had been seeing each other for a little over a year and a half and Nora was finally feeling confident enough to consider moving in with him.  Provided he could find adequate housing for the two of them. 

Tommy shook his head.  “I’d been meaning to go on my lunch break, but Andy had a couple cars that needed rushed.”  

Nora nodded as she turned into the parking lot of the grocery store.  She slid the El Camino into a spot half way down the parking lot.  Signaling for Tommy to get out, she said, “Can you run in and get a couple loaves of bread? Mama asked me to bring it for tonight.” 

“Sure, anything else?” Tommy asked. 

“Nope.”  Nora smiled as she watched him walk towards the store.   Halfway up the lot he stopped and turned back.  

He smiled sheepishly as he approached the open driver’s door window.  “Uh, Nor, I’m sorry, but I forgot, I’m a little strapped until I get paid this comin’ Friday.”

Nora rolled her eyes and reached for her purse.  Handing a ten dollar bill through the open window, she sighed.  She watched as he made his way back towards the store, losing sight of him once he passed through the sliding doors.  The blonde leaned her head back against the seat and shook her head.  Tommy was cute, he was mostly nice and usually didn’t pull that ‘guy’ shit that her first boyfriend had, but he did have his faults.  His management of money was definitely one of them.  He was twenty-two still living with his mom and more often than not acted sixteen. 

Growing up with three brothers, Nora was used to it.  Hell, if she were honest, it was something that she’d come to expect from guys, but that didn’t make it less annoying.   She fingered the charm bracelet he got her for her birthday this past January.  It was sweet, but it was simple.  To be honest, Nora’s girly wants far outweighed the tom boy that lived inside of her.  She liked romance, she always had.  She and her mom were the only two girls in a house of six.  Growing up, Rosemary Delaney spent her Friday nights with her daughter, watching old films. 

Nora grew up watching the classics; Casablanca, Gone with the Wind and other films with great, all consuming romances.  Where the guy would come in and sweep the girl off her feet.  Okay, so Casablanca was a little less sweeping than it was full of angst, but that didn’t detract from the overall message. 

The passenger door opened and Tommy slipped in, placing the brown paper bag between the two of them.  “Got two loaves of bread.” He smiled and shut the door. 

The blonde nodded and started the car up.  Pulling back out into traffic, she pointed her car towards her old neighborhood.  A few minutes later and she took the turn that led her down into familiar old roads..   The open window of the El Camino allowed a fresh breeze to blow through and her nostrils flared at the scent.   She smiled a little as fond memories of growing up flittered through her mind.   The people may have changed and moved, but the place stayed the same. 

Pulling up to the curb across from her parent’s house, Nora killed the engine and stepped out into the unnaturally tepid early summer evening.  They approached the front door, when she saw her father’s head peek out.   The door swung wide and his stout frame filled the open space.  She smiled and rushed to give him a hug. 

“Hi, Dad.”  Nora said, wrapping her arms around his waist and squeezing. 

“Hi there, pumpkin.”  He let go of her and stretched a hand out to Tommy.  “Tom.” 

The man took the offered hand and shook.  “Hi, Mr. Delaney.” 

Ushering the two inside, Nora’s mother’s voice rang out from the kitchen, “Nora is that you?”

“Yeah, mama.” Nora answered as she hung her purse by the door and took that bag of bread from Tommy.  She watched as her father ushered Tommy into the living room to watch T.V. while Nora went to find her mom. 

 

* * *

 

Nora waited patiently in line, paperwork in hand as the clerk worked impossibly slow.  She’d been down at the Academy’s office since nine in the morning filling out the requisite information for the background, credit and criminal history check.  Her father, a retired N.O.P.D. Lieutenant,  had offered to push her paperwork through, but she had declined.  If she was going to get in, she would get in on her own.  The only problem with that was that now, three hours later; she was still waiting in line and developing a headache. 

Sighing, she shifted the weight on her feet and leaned back.  As she leaned back, a body behind her responded.  Standing straight, she turned and offered an apology, “Sorry.  Excuse me.”  A hint of color tinted her cheeks as the woman behind her shrugged.

“It’s okay.” The woman held out her free hand in greeting.  “We’ve been in line for about the same time.  I’m Ann.”

Nora shook the offered hand and laughed.  “Nora.  Are you applying to the force?”

Ann waved the packet of forms in the air and smiled.  “Yeah, but I think the wait to drop the paperwork off may just do me in.” 

Blowing the bangs from her eyes, Nora nodded.  She turned to the line in front of her and counted.  “Well,” she said, standing sideways to talk to the other woman, “there are only three people ahead of us.  Maybe by the end of the year?”

“Ha!  Sweetie, we’ll be lucky if we get out of here by the end of the century.” 

She warmed at the smile as she quietly appraised Ann.  Slightly taller than herself, she was trim, fit.  One could even call her lanky with soft, shoulder length brunette hair and warm blue eyes.  “Considering it’s only eight years away, you may be right.”

They chatted aimlessly as they waited in line.  Slowly shuffling forward across scratched and stained linoleum, Nora presented her paperwork and found herself wanting to wait on Ann to finish up.  Five minutes and two-hundred-eighteen tiles later, Ann sidled up to a distracted Nora.

 

Feeling brave, Ann poked the other woman in the side and smiled at the startled look.  “Well, I promised them my first born, but barring anything hugely damaging on the psych eval, I’ll be starting in the August group.” 

“Then I guess that means we’ll be seeing more of each other?” Nora asked, hopeful.   In the short time they stood together in line, Nora felt comfortable around the woman.  Considering the blonde didn’t have many friends finding someone that she felt a connection to was rare.

“I guess so,” Ann replied.  “Hey, what are you doing the rest of the day?” 

Nora ran through her “To-Do” list and realized it was pretty complete.  Shaking her head, she said, “Not much.”

“Look, I…,” she stopped and fidgeted with the strap of her purse before continuing, “I know we just met, but uh, how would feel about getting some coffee?”

Nora’s hesitation caused the brunette to rethink her offer, but stopped as a small smile pulled at Nora’s lips.  “That’s not a bad idea.”

Ann’s face lit up and she tugged on the arm of the blonde.  Moving down the hall, she led them outside into the stifling July heat that only New Orleans seemed to be able to offer.

 

* * *

 

Nora pressed the phone to her ear as she listened to Tommy whine on the other end.  She stood up from where she was seated and shut the door so her roommates couldn’t hear the rest of the conversation. 

“Nora, I just don’t see why you gotta do this.  I know your fam-“his petulant voice sounded in her ear before she cut him off.

“Tom,” she said as quietly and forcefully as possible, “this conversation that we’re having now isn’t going to happen.  You knew what I was going to do when we started seeing  each other over a year ago.” 

“I know, doll, I just want you to be safe.  Cop jobs aren’t known for safety.”

The blonde twisted the phone cord in her hand as she rested against her dresser.   Sighing, she rubbed the throbbing vein on the left side of her forehead.  With her starting at the Academy three months ago, he’d become increasingly competitive and Nora, despite her best efforts to be understanding, was at her wits end.   

She pushed off her dresser and moved to sit on the bed.  She sunk into the mattress and fell backwards.   Dreading the words she was about to say, her teeth ground as a slight twitch in her right eye began.  “Tommy,” she interrupted his ranting, “We really need to talk.  Meet me over at Perk’s in a half hour.”  Knowing that he would be there, she didn’t bother saying goodbye, just placed the receiver in the cradle. 

A half sigh, half raspberry sounded in the room as she slipped on a pair of shoes, grabbed her keys, some money and a jacket.   A casual wave to Kristina and Beth in the living room and she was out the door.   November in New Orleans was cool.  It had rained the last three days and today the threat  still loomed.  She looked up into the sky and saw the outline of the sun straining through the heavy gray clouds. 

Slipping on her jacket, she started towards the coffee shop.   Hoping the rain would allow her a reprieve, she walked quickly.   The café was the halfway mark between Tommy’s mom’s and her apartment, officially making it a nice meeting spot for the two lovers if time was an issue.  It was also semi-neutral territory where she knew he wouldn't make that much of a fuss. 

Truthfully, he had to have seen this coming.  After his stalling with finding them a suitable place to live and ultimately his reluctance to leave his mother’s house, Nora knew it was just a matter of time.  Since August, he’d grown a tad sullen and his temper began showing itself more and more.  He picked fights when she couldn’t meet with him and pouted when she had to leave in the morning. 

Her head was bent as she watched the blocks of concrete pass underneath her.  As she came to an intersection she looked up and realized that she was already at the corner of the café.  She stepped through the door, thankful to be inside.  Spotting a two person table by the window to her right, she slid into the chair to wait. 

Nora’s head rested casually on her hand as she watched customers come and go.  She saw Tommy walk in a few minutes later.  She waved him over and tried to smile.  A lame attempt, but her soon-to-be-ex’s was only slightly better.  He slouched down, offering her only a quiet hello.

Unsure of how to start, she decided coffee was in order.  “I’m going to grab something to drink.  You want anything?” she asked as she stood to get in line.  He shook his head and she trotted off.   The line was short and the grungy looking clerk behind the counter offered only a slight nod as she was handed her coffee.  

Quietly she made it back to their table.  The small trip giving her the chance to steel herself for the impending conversation.  Setting the cup down, she slipped back into her seat.  “Tommy, we need to talk.” 

His only response was his arms folding across his chest as his lips tightened into a thin line.  Nora shook her head and forged ahead, “There isn’t really, this isn’t easy, Tommy.” 

He snorted and spat, “It’d be easy if you remembered what the hell it is that you are.”

Her eyes narrowed as she said, “What is it that I’m supposed to remember?”  She suppressed the anger and hoped he wasn’t gonna say what she thought he was.

Foolishly, he carried on, “Nora, I thought we were on the same page.”  His arms unfolded as he ran his hand through thick blonde hair.  “You’re a girl, Nora.  You ain’t a guy like your brothers.  You should leave that shit to the men in your family.  Your mom’s got the right idea.”

Nora’s jaw clenched as she gripped the mug of hot coffee in her hand.  Ignoring the burns her palms were suffering, she launched out of the chair she was seated in.  Before she knew what happened, Tommy was alternating between cussing and screaming in pain as the coffee ran down the front of his shirt.   She snatched her jacket off the back of her chair and spun around to watch as he tried to soak up the dark liquid with napkins. 

Tugging on her Jacket, she stopped in front of him and dug the point of her index finger into his chest, shoving him back into his chair.  “Lose my number Tommy LeBoux.  Pretend you never met me.”  The threat in her voice clear, she turned to leave. 

A hand clamped around her upper arm and spun her around.  His face was red and the usually calm blue eyes were alive with rage.  “You ain’t goin’ anywhere you dumb cunt,” he hissed. 

A fist clenched at her side.  “Let me go, Tommy.”

He pulled her closer and before he knew it, Nora’s fist came up connecting squarely with his jaw.  She watched as his hand let go of her left arm and he stumbled back.   He scrambled, waving his arms as he crashed into the table they were just seated at.   He landed on top and tried to stop the table from tipping over.  Instead, he crashed to the floor as Nora took off out the door.

 

* * *

 

The clink and clatter of the restaurant provided a steady back noise for Nora and Ann as they sat at their booth.  They had been studying for the past two hours, firing questions at each other.   The final written exam was in two days and for both women, preparation was key.  Thankfully, the place they were at was used to students taking up tables for study groups.  Currently, the two had been through a dozen drinks and a dinner.  Picking at her left over fries, Nora popped one in her mouth and waited for Ann to fire the next question.  

She watched the brunette skim over the list of questions and answers.  Over the past eighteen weeks, Nora and Ann had developed a friendship that Nora had a hard time labeling.  Since her breakup with Tommy, Ann had become almost a constant fixture.  They went out when time permitted to the movies, clubs and restaurants.  Some nights they stumbled into one another’s apartments tipsy and fell into bed. 

 A slight blush rose to Nora’s cheeks as she remembered the last two times she had spent with Ann.  Nothing overt had happened, but Nora couldn’t deny the flush of arousal and mild embarrassment as she lay cradled in Ann’s arms or like the last time, she had woken up spooning the other woman.  She had also recognized that much to her annoyance, it had felt right.

 Ann had filled a void in her world that she didn’t think was there.  They shared the intimacy and friendship that she had yearned for with Tommy.  The conversation and responsibility of maintaining the relationship came off more as an even split between her and Ann.  That irony was not lost on Nora.  The fact that she wasn’t an overtly touchy-feely person, but  would not shy away from the hugs, hand holding or the head resting that Ann was accustomed were strong indicators that Nora could not ignore.

 The only problem was that she didn’t know what it meant.  Her roommates had casually joked with her, but she had denied them up and down.  Stating that they were good friends and nothing more.  It was, unfortunately, their light teasing that forced her to step back and take a look at the friendship, for her own feelings towards the brunette.  Reflecting, Nora noticed a myriad of small things that added up to creating a nervous confused mass of blonde 

 From the way the worries of the day seemed to fall away when they were together, the smile that stuck with her for at least two hours after they had left each other’s company, to the strong desire to just be around Ann because watching her talk and laugh made Nora feel better with just about everything.   Nora let out a small sigh as Ann looked up from her notes and grinned. 

 “I think,” Ann said, setting the notes down and leaning back in the booth, “that we should call it a night.”

 “Getting tired, Flemming?” Nora’s eyebrow rose as she smirked.

 “Sweetie, it takes a lot more than a couple of hours studying to make me tired.”  Ann’s face lit up with a smirk of her own, letting the entendre linger in the air.

 Refusing to rise to the bait, Nora asked, “So, now what?” 

 She watched Ann shrug and run long, graceful fingers through her hair.  “Desert?” 

Nora shook her head and looked at the table top not covered in notes and books.  The entire table to her left was stacked with dishes.  Ann had put away the appetizer, the salad, soup, mashed potatoes and her open faced pot roast sandwich and yet she was still thinking  about desert.  Norahad absolutely no idea where the girl put the food.  Ann had a runner’s body and pianist fingers.   “You do know that that food goes places, right?” 

Ann shrugged, “I’m twenty-one years old.  I have a metabolism an eight year old would be jealous of and…” she wiggled her eyebrows as she finished up, “Any weight I gain goes to my boobs or my butt.”

For good measure, Nora chucked a cold fry at her head.   She winced as Ann dodged the projectile and watched it sail through the air, landing on the neighboring table.

“I really don’t know what to do with you.”  Ann laughed.  “I can’t take you anywhere.  Throwing food around.  Making a scene.  Didn’t your mom ever teach you better?”

“I’ll have you know that my mama taught me right, you are just a horrible influence!”  Nora grinned back. 

“Well then,” Ann said, fishing a twenty and a ten dollar bill out of her back pocket and throwing them on the table.  “I say we blow this joint and allow me to further influence you in all the decidedly naughty ways my pretty little head can think of.”  She stood and began tossing their things into her backpack.  She grabbed Nora’s hand and led them out of the restaurant into the cold January night.

 

* * *

 

Nora nearly purred as the fingernails of her friend lightly scraped her scalp.  They had been sitting in the back of Nora’s car, cuddled together under three blankets watching the meteor shower and then just star gazing for a while.  In late January the nights turned cold, but the temperature didn’t seem to bother either woman.  

The night was quiet, hushed.  The mood had turned introspective at some point and Nora couldn’t seem to break the silence that draped over them.  She wasn’t sure if she wanted to.  To just lay there enjoying another person’s company without expectation of maintaining conversation was a small gift that Nora intended to enjoy. 

So instead of speaking, she relished the silence and the soft, warm body her own was curled against.  The blonde’s head rested neatly on Ann’s shoulder as the other woman’s arm draped across Nora’s shoulders, holding her close.  Nora’s hand rested lightly on a strip of exposed skin above Ann’s waistband.  Unconsciously, she ran her fingertips along the smooth skin. 

It was moments like this that were not only increasing in frequency, but also intensity.  As much as she tried, Nora couldn’t ignore the idea that she was more than likely falling in love, but moreover falling in love with another woman.  A certain chill gripped her when she thought of the ramifications of what those ideas meant.  Of how her family would react and perceive her after the fact.  It was a terror that she shoved down and locked away.  Virtually ignoring the panic. 

The other issue was how exactly did Ann see her.  Was she alone in her visceral response to the other woman?  Did the pit of Ann’s stomach grow warm whenever Nora touched her?   Nora didn’t know the answer and was too petrified to even ask.  The information that Ann had offered about her personal history wasn’t a lot.  From everything that she had gathered, Ann had moved to New Orleans three years ago at the age of nineteen.  From the bits and pieces she’d pulled together, Nora knew enough that Ann’s family wasn’t much a part of her life, but she did have friends in Richmond that she kept in contact with. 

She closed her eyes as Ann began to absently play with her hair.  Hunkering down, both women tightened their hold on the other and listened to the sounds of the night. 

 

* * *

 

Sweat dripped in Nora’s eyes as she circled her opponent.  After three hours on the obstacle course and an hour on the driving course, Nora found herself in the gym with Ann sparring on a set of mats to the left of a boxing ring. 

She used her right upper arm to catch some of the sweat that had begun to sting her eyes.  The sounds of ropes twirling and soft smacks to either flesh or warn leather sounded in the gym.  She breathed deep and caught the odors of too many hormones and stale sweat.  It hung in the air and clung to every available free surface. 

She watched Ann bounce on the balls of her feet.  The brunette was trying to anticipate Nora’s next move while Nora was trying to do the same.  They were at a stalemate and merely circling each other. 

“Delaney, you want to fight or stare at me all day?” Ann teased. 

Giving as good as she got, Nora said, “Please.  The only reason you wanted to work out was to check out my ass in these pants.” 

An upturned eyebrow and a smirk was the only thing Ann gave.  Nora ducked just in time as she saw Ann’s shoulder drop.  The gloved fist flew a few centimeters from her face.  She quickly used the opening and managed to get a one-two shot in on Ann’s stomach.  The victory of her hits was short lived as a foot swept out and knocked into the back of her knees.   Her next coherent thought came when she looked up.  Ann had pinned her, sitting on the blonde’s chest while she used her knees to pin down Nora’s arms.

A broad grin graced slim, chiseled features.  Nora’s breath caught in her throat as Ann leaned down.  For the briefest moment, the noises of the gym went away and the only thing Nora could hear was the hard steady beat of her own heart. 

Just as suddenly as it began it ended as Ann cleared her throat.  Confused, Nora looked up at her friend and saw a deep, ruddy blush extend to the top of Ann’s forehead to the tips of her ears.   As Ann helped her to her feet and helped pull her gloves off, Nora wondered what just happened and if what she thought was going to happen was only imagined.

 

* * *

 

The groggy blonde blinked against the harsh, early morning sunlight.  Squinting, she realized that once again she found herself in Ann’s bed with the brunette cuddled against her.  For a few minutes, Nora closed her eyes and basked in the warmth and intimacy of the moment. 

Her body tingled every place Ann pressed against her.  Lazily, she studied the woman resting on her arm.  Ann’s features, soft and relaxed in sleep, stole Nora’s breath.  Gently, she took her free hand, swept a lock of hair away from Ann’s face and traced a light finger down the woman’s temple.  The traitorous finger slid slowly across her cheek and down the long slope of her neck. 

The touch stirred the other woman and Nora looked down into clear, blue eyes.  Unthinking, she leaned forward and pressed her lips against the one’s belonging to Ann.  The moment stretched on as their positions shifted slightly and Ann gained some leverage.  The brunette deepened the kiss, pulling the taller woman against her.   Instinctively Nora’s lips parted and invited Ann’s tongue in to meet her own. 

Thoughts drifted through as their embrace continued.  Nora marveled at how different this felt.  The softness of the lips gently teasing her own.   Her body’s immediate and enthusiastic response to the caress.  The embrace moved slowly on.  Neither pushing for more, just content with how things seemed to naturally remain in stasis as they adjusted to this development.  

Grudgingly, Nora broke away, resting her forehead against her partner’s.  Her breath came in deep as the fog receded from her mind.  

It was Ann’s quiet, “Whoa.”  That brought Nora fully down from her cloud of euphoria. 

Realizing what just happened and allowing the full weight of the implications to settle on her chest, Nora tried to push Ann away, but found herself trapped, wrapped up in deceptively strong arms. 

“Nora,” Ann pleaded gently, “don’t.  Don’t run away.”

“I – you –,” Nora stumbled unable to find her voice.

Ann pressed her index finger to the full, trembling lips of her friend, quieting her down.   “No.  This doesn’t – don’t name it, don’t talk about.  Please, Nora, let’s just enjoy it for what it is.” 

The panic Nora felt slowly receded.  She stared into frightened cerulean eyes and her muscles slackened.  Steeling herself, she realized that it didn’t have to be anything.  Whatever they wanted.  Ann had responded to and obviously had wanted it as much as Nora. 

“I’m sorry.  I just …,” Nora stumbled again.

Smiling slightly, Ann nodded.  “I know.  Not what…it’s okay,” she said, deciding that less was definitely more for this situation.  She pulled Nora back down and held the other woman close.  It wasn’t as if she hadn’t thought about kissing the blonde, she had a great deal.  She just never figured that Nora would have wanted it, much less initiated it. 

Ann felt Nora nuzzle into the crook of her arm and she squeezed the other woman’s shoulders.   Unsure of what to do or say Ann’s gaze fell on to the dresser across from her bed.  She looked at the smiling faces of Jill and Lee.   Her best friends.  The one’s she’d left in Richmond to come here and start fresh.  Of course, it wasn't like she could count Jill as one of her best friends anymore.  They didn’t talk much and most information about the other was spread with Lee acting as the middle man. 

 What a nightmare that had been. 

The three had met their freshman year of high school and had become virtually inseparable.  She had watched while Lee and Jill shared a very turbulent relationship for the first half of their sophomore year and had helped Jill put herself back together when they broke up.  It was during that time or Ann thought, maybe it was something that just happened, but before she knew it, she’d fallen in love with Jill.  Hard.  Deep.  Devastatingly. 

Of course, falling in love with your best friend never actually works out the way you think it will.  Mostly, Ann mused, it ends in tears. 

As Lee had slowly built a solid friendship with Jill again, he had noticed the changes in Ann.  It was his insistent prodding that forced her to come clean to him one night.  After that, he would point out things that Jill did only when Ann was around.  How they acted towards each other.  Lee’s observations gave her the courage to confront Jill.  She'd written her a letter because words didn’t work for her the way they did for most people.  Writing seemed to work best.  So Ann wrote a letter and had delivered it to Jill. 

They hadn’t really spoken since then.  It was one of the myriad of reasons Ann moved south.  That and the never ending trouble her parents were always in.  The last she’d heard of her father, he was serving time for drug trafficking and her mom was turning tricks to support her habit.  Lee had been the one to deliver that information not more than three weeks ago. 

A slight tremor shook Ann from her thoughts.  Her gaze traveled to the blonde curled into her side.  She ached when she realized that Nora was crying.  Placing a soothing hand on Nora’s back, she whispered, “Nora, sweetie, what’s wrong?”

Nora looked up and shook her head.  “I…”

Ann pulled Nora up so that they were eye level.  “Scared?” Ann asked.

Nora nodded as Ann wiped the tears trailing down her friend’s cheeks and tried for a reassuring smile. 

“Would it help if I said I was too?” the brunette ventured.

“Maybe.”  Nora sniffled and ran her hand through her hair.  She pulled back so that she was resting against the headboard.   “I care about you, Ann.  Way more than I should.”

“Why is that bad?”  Ann shifted her position so that she was cross legged facing Nora.

“It’s not, but we can’t…if my family found out, the academy.  This could ruin everything.”  Nora’s arms folded across her chest as she chewed on her lower lip.

“Who says they have to know?” the brunette countered.

“And why didn’t you tell me?”

Confused, Ann cocked her head to the side and asked, “Tell you what?”

Rolling her eyes, Nora waved a hand between the two of them.  “That you know…”

Ann’s shoulders squared and her back straightened.  “Tell you that I wanted to kiss you?  That I’m a dyke?”  She watched Nora’s reaction and shook her head.  “Of course, that’s it, isn’t it?”  Unable to sit anymore, Ann got up and began pacing the length of her room.  “That’s homophobic bullshit, Nor.  Why should I have to introduce myself as Ann Louise Flemming, the dyke?  Do you introduce yourself as Nora Delaney, the closet case?”

Reacting quickly, Nora rose from the bed and stood in Ann’s path.  Placing her hands on Ann’s shoulders, she said, “I’m sorry, again.”  Nora looked away, unable to meet the pain reflected back at her.  “I’m scared.  And the fact that I’m saying that to you…”

Ann pulled the blonde into a hug.  She whispered into Nora’s neck, “I’m sorry…that was harsh.”  She felt Nora shrug and she herself sighed.  Gently she sat them on the edge of the bed.  “Nora,” Ann turned towards the blonde, causing their knees to touch and said, “I really do understand how scary this is, but…do you like me?”

Blinking, Nora said, “We didn’t cover that?”

“Yeah, we sorta did, but I want to be clear.  I like you.  A lot.  I think you like me, like I like you.” Ann shook her head and said, “And there were entirely too many ‘like’s in that sentence.  We don’t have to do anything you don’t want or tell or say anything to anyone.”  Pleadingly, Ann grabbed Nora’s hand, threading their fingers together and said, “This can be us, here.  In our rooms, behind closed doors.  I’m okay with that.  Given the field we’re going into, we sorta need it to be.”

 “You would be okay with that?” Nora watched Ann’s reaction as the other woman nodded almost hopefully.  Nora’s head raced with all the possible ways of how this couldn’t work.  Of why it shouldn’t.   Her mind spat at least a dozen reasons at once, but her heart said something else and her gut was in agreement with the quiet persistence of her heart. 

Decision reached, her hand rose and gently caressed Ann’s cheek.  Her hand went back, wrapping in soft brown hair to pull the other woman forward.  Their lips met as Nora conveyed her decision through the action and caress.

 

* * *

 

Looking around her room, Nora sighed.  She’d given up trying to figure out whose clothes belonged to whom.  Between the Academy’s demands on her time, life in general, and the moments she stole with Ann there was absolutely no time to maintain a clean house.  Add to the fact that the women had come to some unspoken arrangement that led to half of the other’s wardrobe ending up at the other’s.   Nora was in short, screwed.

“Nora, have you seen my green shirt?” Ann asked stepping into the room as she dried her hair off with a towel. 

“Nora!  You’re dad’s here,” Beth’s voice called from the living room. 

Both women’s eyes grew large as they looked around the room.  The tousled sheets, the clothes and their current state of undress, Nora in a pair of jeans and her bra while Ann was in nothing but Nora’s robe.  The robe her parents got for her for Christmas. 

“Nora?” her dad’s voice came from down the hall. 

A small squeak came from Nora.  Unthinking, Ann slipped into the closet and shut the door.   Nora grabbed the first t-shirt she saw and pulled it over head.  Her dad entered the room with a slight knock. 

“Nora,” her dad said, smiling.  “We’re gonna be late.”  He stood and examined the room.   His lips formed a thin line as he said, “Sorry, but you know how your mama gets.  I’ll wait in the living room.”

She watched as he spun quickly out of the room and shut the door.  Ann’s head peaked out a moment later, looking sheepish and wide eyed.

Nora looked from her then down at the bed she was standing by.  Gracelessly, she fell forward, planting her head firmly in a small pile of clothes and bunched blankets.  She felt Ann’s comforting hand on her back and she let lose a muffled scream. 

She turned her head and looked up.  The brunette’s apologetic gaze and encouraging smile pushed Nora up.  “Well,” she said.

“Yeppers.”  Ann looked over the other woman’s shoulder spotting the shirt she was looking for.  She reached around and snatched it from the edge of the end table.  “Ha!  I knew I left that here.” 

“We should…” Nora said. 

Knowing what she met, Ann placed a firm kiss to the corner of her lover’s mouth and hopped off the bed.  “You’re dad’s waiting.   If we’re late, your mother won’t be happy.  I’ve only met the woman a few times and I already know that much about her.” 

Nora nodded and finished getting ready.  It took another ten minutes on hair and make-up then they were out the door.  The car ride wasn’t too bad, but it was filled with silence.  As the idea of the party and what lay ahead for them loomed, Nora began to rethink the surprise she had in store for her girlfriend.  It wasn’t something she had planned on, but it seemed like a great opportunity.

One morning, Nora had answered Ann’s phone and began talking to Lee.  The man effortlessly pumped Nora for information and had slipped that they were going to be graduating the police academy in few short weeks.  Lee had wished that he could see that, but with his new work schedule knew he wasn’t going to make it.

A week later, Nora had called and offered an invitation to Lee and Jill to the graduation party her parents were having for her.  Knowing that Ann didn’t have any family, she had talked her parents into making it a joint celebration.   She had Bobby use her car and pick up the two from the airport last night.  Currently, they were waiting with the Delaney clan at her parents’ house. 

They pulled into the driveway fifteen minutes later and Nora’s stomach was a knot.   She waited for her father to leave her sight, disappearing behind the house to the backyard.  Turning to Ann, she unconsciously grabbed her hand. 

“Babe, you okay?” Ann asked, squeezing the blonde’s hand. 

Nora nodded.  “Just…look, when you get back there, please do me a favor and don’t be mad.”

A slim eyebrow rose.  “What exactly did you do?”

“Uh, it’s sort of a surprise.”  Nora tried for an encouraging smile, but thought she’d failed as the slight scowl marred Ann’s usually easy going features.

“Uh-huh.  Well, let’s get on with it.  I reserve the right to exact revenge after this is all over,” she called over her shoulder and followed the path Nora’s father had taken.   She shook her head and wondered what exactly Nora could have done.    As she rounded the corner of the house, a large banner read ‘Congratulation’s Nora and Ann!’  Under it stood the Delaney brood along with two very unexpected faces. 

Nora stopped right behind Ann, discretely placing a hand on the small of her lover’s back.   Neither was given any time for as soon as Nora stepped into view the backyard erupted into cheers.   It took less than ten seconds for both of them to be pushed forward and clapped on the back, hugged or cheered on for becoming part of the police department. 

Swept up in the moment, Nora plastered a smile across her face and split her attention to the well-wishers and Ann.  Her lover was slightly ashen as the brunette broke away from her brothers and approached Lee and Jill by the picnic table.   Finally managing to grab a coke and make her way over to Ann and her friends.   Lightly, she touched Ann’s shoulder.   The other woman shrunk away and spun to Nora. 

“I…Nora, this is Lee and Jill,” Ann tried to smile, but couldn’t manage it.  “I think you and Lee have talked before.”

Nora grinned trying to displace her lover’s unease.  “Yeah.  Hi, Lee.  Nice to finally meet you.”  She shook the offered hand and turned to Jill.  “Hi, Nora Delaney.”

Jill’s smile never quite made it to completion as she perfunctorily shook the other woman’s hand and said, “Jillian Ness.”  Turning to Ann, she said, “I’m…”

Ann cut her off, “I really can’t deal with this right now.” 

With that the three stood there and watched Ann’s retreating back.  Nora looked between the two as Ann made her way further away, disappearing among the woods that lined her parents’ backyard.   Nora moved to follow her, but was stopped by Jill’s hand. 

She looked at the woman, pretty with dark, chestnut hair.  Fine features and high cheekbones.  “This is my fault.  I’m sorry,” she said.  Nora watched her chase after her lover and noted that Jill looked and moved like a model. 

The blonde turned to the male of the group, looking him over.  Lee was barely an inch taller than she, with sandy blonde hair with the build of a linebacker, broad shoulders, a barrel chest with a narrow waist.  

“Sorry about that,” he waved a hand towards his two absent friends.  “They’ve got…ah…issues.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that seeing you two was going to upset her?” Nora asked quietly.

Sighing, Nora turned on heel and followed after the two women.   She followed the voices as she moved deeper among the trees.  She stopped short as she saw the two women standing together.  She slipped behind a large tree.  The two were standing close together with Jill holding Ann’s hands to her own chest. 

“You don’t think I know I fucked up?” Jill asked. 

Prying her hands away, Ann turned away and spat, “You haven’t said more than two words to me in nearly two years.  Three if you don’t count the day I left or the fight before that.  I figured talking to me was the last thing you wanted.”

Running a hand through her long hair, Jill pleaded, “I was freaked out.  I was scared and didn’t know what to do.”

Jill turned Ann to her as Ann whined, “I can’t.  Nora.  You’ve no right.”

Nora watched Jill search Ann’s features.  Sighing, Jill said, “You and the blonde?”  Ann nodded and Jill asked, “Do you love her?”

“I care about Nora.  She’s a pretty amazing person.  You’d like her.”  Ann unconsciously stepped into Jill’s personal space as Nora listened.

“Do you love her like you love me?” Jill tried again.

“I…” Ann’s face fell as she softly admitted, “You were the first.   Jill, it’s not fair.  Loving you came to me like breathing.  It’s just something that’s always been.” 

Nora released the breath she was holding.  For some reason hearing her lover’s admission didn’t sting like she thought it would.   Deciding to bench the conversation she wanted to have with Ann for later, she let them have their privacy.   She wasn’t sure what she wanted to do with what she just saw, but something was going to have to be done. 

As she stepped out of the woods, her father’s figure strode in her direction.  She looked over to find that Lee was talking with her brothers, Bobby, Patrick and Terry.  

“Nora, can I see you for a minute.”  Her father stepped into her line of sight.  Grabbing her by the elbow, he led her to a more private spot at the edge of the yard.   Quietly, he reached into his pants pocket and removed a small blue box.  Shoving it in his daughter’s hands, he said, “That was your grandma’s.  I figure you could have it.” 

Nora opened the box and smiled as a medallion of St. Francis of Assisi lay nestled in the box.   Her father helped her put in on and she slipped the empty box in her pants pocket. 

She watched her father play with the label on his beer bottle before he spoke.  “When I came to your place earlier…Nora Marie, I’ve only ever wanted the best for you.   So listen here young lady, what you’re playin’ with will only get you hurt.  The Force doesn’t take too kindly to the path you’re headed down.”  His jaw set and he looked up, meeting his daughter’s gray eyes.  “Whatever it is that you’re doin’, I suggest you end it ‘fore anyone finds out or worse yer mama.  It’d just about kill her.”  Not saying another word, he turned and strode off. 

* * *

 

A pair of underwear went sailing into the corner of the room as Nora finally managed to remove all of her clothing while Ann reclined on the bed.   Slightly sweaty but content, Nora crawled over her lover and settled into the open arms that were waiting for her.  They hadn’t actually made it to the bed after coming home from the bar. 

After the party yesterday, Nora warred with herself.  It had scarred her that her father had said anything.  The admonishment hurt.  The fact that he wasn’t going to say anything to anyone provided only a small bit of salve to the wound.   The other issue was that she was still compelled to see where this thing with Ann would take her.  Another part needed to see Jill and Ann together.  So she had invited Jill and Lee out to Ann and her’s favorite bar.  There the four of them had danced, drank and laughed.   Nora loved seeing Ann as open and happy as she had been tonight.

She also yearned to have friendships like her lover seemed to share with her friends.   It was also during their third round that Nora had come to several realizations.  The first and foremost being that she loved Ann.  Had fallen head over heels in love with the woman.  The second was that even though Ann’s hushed admission to Jill still left Nora with a hope that one day they could get there, she saw tonight that that wasn’t ever going to happen.  Watching the two together was heartbreakingly beautiful. 

Lee had taken her out on the dance floor and as they slowed down in their movements he had offered an apology.  His bittersweet smile conveyed to Nora the things he couldn’t really say.  They had danced through a few songs and he spoke of his time with the two.  He seemed to think that when Jill was in Ann’s orbit the rest of the world could be burning and the only thing that mattered was the two of them.  He confessed that he’d always felt a bit like the third wheel.

Nora had only offered a tight lipped smile at his apology and shelved the information.   So they had come back from the club and Ann had jumped Nora before they even got through Ann’s bedroom door closed.   The blonde allowed it to happen was even an active participant, loving every touch, moan and whimper that she had caused in the brunette. 

It was during her return to earth that the third realization had hit her like a ton of bricks.  Nuzzling into the supple skin of her lover, Nora grabbed Ann’s hand and threaded their finger’s together.   “Ann?” Nora whispered.

“Hmm?” came the tired reply. 

“I think we should stop seeing each other.”  Nora winced as Ann shot up and reached for the lamp on the bedside table.   Trying to calm her down, she pulled Ann back down to resume their comfortable position.  “Quit freaking out.  I need to tell you a few things.”

“Nora, you…” Ann tried.

“I…what?  Baby, please just shut up and listen to me.”  Nora lifted the hand she held and placed a few kisses on the knuckles, trying to take the sting from her words.  “Listen first, and then start yelling.”

Knowing she had Ann’s attention, Nora propped herself up on her elbow and turned to look at the clear blue eyes she’d come to adore.  She rested her free hand on Ann’s alabaster chest and said, “I love you.”   She smiled a little at the warmth that infused the brunette’s features, taking a second to cherish the moment.  “You aren’t in love with me.” 

A protest started to form on Ann’s lips, but Nora silenced them with a slim finger on full lips.  “It’s okay.  Let me talk.  I’ve come to a few conclusions tonight.  The first was that I’m in love with you.  The second was that you don’t love me, not like you should.”  She removed her finger and took Ann’s free hand again.  “The third was that we should stop this.  You deserve to be with someone you love and I deserve to be loved in return.” 

Fighting the tears that pooled, she sniffed and said, “Ann, I want you to be happy.  Seeing you with Jill.  I don’t know the full story.  Really don’t wanna know it, but you love her.  I think she loves you too.” 

Ann removed her hand from Nora’s and swiped at her own cheeks first and then at Nora’s.   While the truth of what Nora said was apparent, she didn’t think that it would hurt like it was.  “I’m sorry.” 

The blonde smiled slightly and shrugged as best she could.  “I don’t think there’s anything to be sorry for.   If I put two and two together right, she’s decided to pull her head from her ass.  That’s why she came down here wasn’t it?”  Ann nodded as Nora continued, “I want you happy.  That’s the most important thing to me right now.  If she does that, you should be with her.” 

Not having any words, Ann’s tears dripped down her cheeks and fell from her chin.  She couldn’t believe this was happening.  Pulling Nora to her, she tightened her hold letting her tears fall into Nora’s blonde hair.  “I should go,” she heard Nora say. 

Ann shook her head no and whispered, “Would you mind…”  She bit her lower lip and asked, “Stay?  For tonight?  Please?”

Knowing that she would, Nora settled against the pillows.  She repositioned herself and asked, “Now what?”  Her smile was crooked as her chest tightened.  She read Ann’s silent plea and opened up her arms.  The brunette fell into them and she snuggled in.  She reached for the bedside lamp and flipped it off.  Her arm returned to its position and threaded through her love’s hair, okay with the fact that at least she’d have tonight. 


	2. White Riot

Sliding the suitcase under the bed, Nikki glanced around her dorm room.  Her side of the room was finally unpacked.  The few pictures that she had rested atop the ancient, school provided desk/bookshelf.  It was an industrial piece of furniture meant to be functional not look pretty.

She really wished it looked a little better.  The nicks, dents and stains marring the top and sides gave testament to how much it had actually weathered.  Her eyes shifted from the desk to the off white walls down to the twin bed.   When she and her father had come to visit the university, she had made it a point to visit the dorms.  If she was going to go to school here and have the full collegiate experience, living in the dorm was going to be part of said experience. 

Nikki had found that she could live with a lot of the ancient furniture.  She could live with the not so clean smell that permeated the place and the dreadful industrial lighting.  What she could not handle was the mattress.  She knew without a doubt that she wouldn’t get a decent night’s sleep no matter how sleep deprived she was.  So her father had bought two new mattresses for the space.  Her roommate’s already set up and waiting for her to make up and use.

She sucked in her lower lip and began to chew it absently wondering if there was anything else that she needed to do.  She ran down the check list in her head and knew everything was done.  She was getting ready to turn to the closet to make sure she had left enough room for her roommate, when the door opened. 

Turning to face the individuals as their voices carried through bringing laughter and a soft threat of violence  Nikki smiled brightly as she took in the two grinning faces.  The girl, who she knew to be named Erica Jamison, greeted her with a bright wide smile.   The boy smiling in the exact same way held two large suitcases in his hands and one stuffed under his arm.  Nikki remembered the few letters they had exchanged over the summer and assumed the boy was Erica’s cousin, Darius Jamison.

 “Hi,” Nikki beamed approaching to help lighten her new roommate’s load.   Taking one of the boxes from Erica’s hand, she set it down on the floor.

 “Nikki,” the other girl gushed as she tossed the last two boxes on the bed.  “It’s so nice to finally meet you.”   She grabbed her cousin’s arm and said, “This is Darius.  Darius, I’d like you to meet my roommate, Nikki Beaumont.”

Nikki held out her hand, as Darius gently took hold and raised it to his lips, offering a soft kiss to the back of her hand in greeting.  “Jeremiah Darius Jamison at your service, cheri.”  He looked up into her eyes and winked, “Most call me Darius.”

 “Nice to meet you, Darius.”  Nikki winked back, liking the young man instantly.  “Would ya’ll like some help unpacking or unloading?”

Erica shook her head, “This all there is.  Didn’t really know how much room I was gonna have.”  She went to the closet and peeked in, noticing the space arrangements, she giggled as she poked her head back out of the closet and looked Nikki over.  “I see space for our shoes is going to be a problem.”

Nikki blushed and admitted, “I tried to leave you as much space as I could.”

Darius looked between the two and slapped his hand to his forehead, “Saints help us!  Tell me you aren’t as bad as her?”  He lifted up one of the suitcases and shook it for emphasis.  “I had to talk her down from two suitcases full of shoes to the one.”

Nikki and Erica locked eyes and immediately grinned, knowing that this was going to work out just fine.  With any luck, the two girls wore the same shoe size and they could combine their efforts.

* * *

 

Nikki shoved her foot into the boot and triumphantly zipped up the side.  Admiring how Erica’s new boots fit, she let her gaze travel over to her roommate of the past eight months.  She lingered on Erica’s tight clad legs and traveled up to the woman’s top.  Even though she wore a sweater that was a size too big Nikki could not stop herself from appreciating the curves she knew to be hidden underneath. 

Licking her lips, Nikki was about to comment, but blushed and admonished herself for the thoughts.  These thoughts weren’t new to her.  She’d been thinking of Erica in more of a less friendly fashion more recently.  She wondered if this was the way it always goes. 

In high school, she played her role and was on the cheerleading squad.  She also remembered the lingering glances she gave the other girls.  Looking a bit too long at their bodies after practice.  At the time, she didn’t think it was skeezy.  Now she wasn’t so sure.  Now, Nikki knew better and realized that while the other girls were checking each other out to see who’s ass was fatter, she was checking them to check them out.

Over the course of the last few months, Nikki struggled with the knowledge that she was indeed, at the very least, bi-sexual.  At least that’s what she called herself, unwilling to go ‘completely gay’.  The bi-sexual moniker was something that she could handle right now.   Contending with decidedly steamy thoughts about a girl while knowing the girl was not only your best friend, but your roommate to boot was almost more than Nikki could handle.

Silently she chastised herself; she couldn’t fathom how it had come to her feeling this way.   Erica was always nice, always there to lend a supportive ear.  Erica had also proven to be the one person Nikki felt the most “herself” with.   Being who she was, coming from the Beaumont family, there were expectations that she had to meet; with Erica, there were no expectations.  There were no obligations. Erica not only respected, but also accepted Nikki for everything she was and wasn’t.

Yeah, what wasn’t there to fall in love with? 

 “Nikki?” Erica waved a hand in front of Nikki’s face trying to garner a response.  She had been calling Nikki’s name for a few seconds, but the brunette hadn’t responded. 

 “Uh?”  Nikki grunted gracelessly, jerking away from the hand waving in front of her face.

 “I was saying, darlin’ that Darius is going to be here shortly.” Erica rested her hand on her hip, cocking it out to the side.  “You ‘bout ready to go or am I flying solo and leaving you in La-La Land?”

Blushing, Nikki shook her head.  “Nope, I’m here.  Ready to blow off some much needed steam.”

Stopping her friend from moving Erica took Nikki’s hand and cupped her cheek with the other.  “You alright?  You’ve been, Nikki, I don’t want to say off, but cher, you ain’t been right for a spell. “

Guiltily, Nikki looked away and broke the intimate embrace.  Coughing, she struggled to find her voice, “I’m…good, Rica.  I promise.  Just with all these damn tests and that paper for end of term.”

Erica eyed her friend carefully.  Deciding to let it drop, she offered one last comment, “Well, if there’s anything else, you know Nik, you can come to me.  I’ll love you regardless of what you have to say.”

Unable to say anything Nikki nodded lamely in response.  She was saved from further embarrassment as a knock on the door broke the tension in the room.

Erica moved to open the door and Darius came bouncing in.  “You two fine young ladies ready to make the patrons in the French Quarter blush?”

Nikki smiled as she grabbed her coat, following Erica and Darius out the door, down the steps and to the car.  It wasn’t long before they were in front of the only place the three of them could agree to, St. Peters.   

Erica followed Nikki in as Darius took up the rear.  Her heart thudded in her chest as she watched Nikki’s confident swagger.  Erica Jamison never thought she’d fall for a white girl, but a rich, white girl who’s daddy was a major player in New Orleans political arena.   The only issue for Erica was that she really didn’t know what to do. 

There were times when she felt Nikki at least felt the same way.  That she may just reciprocate the feelings that Erica had harbored from their first meeting, but then Nikki would always qualify whatever happened with, “I can’t believe what a good friend you are” or something equally inane. 

Shaking her head she took a seat across from the one that Nikki chose.   She gave her roommate her drink order.  Erica allowed her gaze to linger on Nikki as the other woman sauntered up to the bar and placed their drink orders.  Guiltily she looked away as Nikki began flirting with the bartender.  A finger hooked under her chin and tilted her head up.  Her cousin’s smiling face met her gaze and her expression softened. 

 “Now, I know my Thumper isn’t sittin’ here with one of the prettiest girls in Nawlins and her down right devilish older cousin pouting.”  He let go of her chin and scooted a bit closer to be heard above the din of the bar and music.  “You wanna tell good ole Darius, what’s troublin’ you?”

Erica glanced away and couldn’t help let her gaze land on Nikki or rather, Nikki’s backside.  Darius followed her gaze and laughed.  “Y’ know, ever since you and Nikki been friends, I ain’t seen you not smile.”  He poked her ribs playfully as she batted his hand away.  “A course, I ain’t known her long either but I ain’t seen her without an equally sappy look.”

Erica’s head jerked around to look at her cousin.  He didn’t say what she thought he just said.   He shook his head and pressed, “Cheri, I won’t claim to understand it, but if she makes you happy…I suggest you let her know.  A girl like her won’t wait around forever.”

Unable to stop the insecurity, she asked, “And if I go and ruin one of the best friendships I’ve ever had?”

Darius shrugged unable to answer.  “Ain’t love worth the risk?  Better to know than not.”

As Erica was about to respond Nikki came back to the table with their drinks.  Laying the beer in front of Erica, Nikki’s hand lingered as it brushed against the smooth mocha skin of her friends.   Warmth spread through her and she blushed.

Darius nudged Erica’s leg with his foot and looked pointedly between his cousin and Nikki.  Once Erica caught on Darius stood and said, “There was a fine lookin’ woman that was eyeing me when we got in.  I’m gonna go see if I can track her down.” He picked up his club soda and beamed.  “You ladies holla if you need me.”  With that he turned around and melted in with the crowd. 

Nikki shook her head.  Darius was certainly a character but time in and out he’d proved one of the best people she’d ever met.  Looking over at Erica, Nikki smiled.  She still marveled at how right it felt just being around her.  This hadn’t ever happened with anyone else.  This was new, strong and it scared her.  Add to the fact that she couldn’t express her feelings to her friend and it was enough for Nikki to knock back her whiskey sour in a fourth of the time it usually took her.

Pulling on the collar of her blouse, Nikki fidgeted.  Tonight seemed a bit warmer than usual in the club, which really was nothing more than a dive that happened to play decent music instead of the mass produced synthesized crap that was standard fair.  The floor was painted black and she usually ignored the times her feet stuck a little as she walked.  The stools and tables were at least twenty years old but there was a charm to the place that she and Erica couldn’t seem to get over. 

 “Nik,” Erica started, “you know how earlier I said you could tell me anything?”   She waited on Nikki’s nod before continuing, “There’s some stuff I want to talk to you about.”

Nikki swallowed the last of her drink and asked, “What is it, darlin’?”

Silently, Erica cursed Darius for his persistence.  In a way she knew he was right, but that still didn’t take away from her nerves or the cold sweat that began trailing down her spine as she committed to confessing her feelings to Nikki tonight.  Standing, she grabbed Nikki’s hand and led them towards the back of the club. 

She led them through the small sea of people on the dance floor, past the long line to get into the bathroom, to a back door that led to an alley behind the bar.  Knowing it was kept open; she pushed through the heavy security door and turned left to a stack of crates that were resting along the wall.  The fresh air did wonders for her head, but caused her to shiver as the already cold perspiration chilled further on her body.

Sitting down, she waited as Nikki followed suit.  Their knees touched as Erica turned towards her friend and grabbed both hands.  Swallowing, Erica’s posture stiffened as she began confessing.  She smirked, realizing their situation was a walking talking cliché, her, a scholarship student from the ghetto falling for the moneyed, popular girl from the ‘right side of the tracks’.

* * *

 

 Absently, Nikki rubbed her nose.  The ray of sunlight peeking through the crack of the hotel blinds warmed her face.  She turned her head, burrowing further into the crook of her lovers arm, effectively shielding her eyes from the natural alarm clock.  Drawing in a contented breath, she wasn’t sure which smell she preferred.  The body holding her, the sweet smell of the flowers in the hotel room or the lingering scent of a night spent in bed, on the floor and against the wall.

The arm holding her tightened and she heard, “Bien-aimé, you can’t sleep all day. We’ve got plans.”

 “But, it’s eeaaarrrrllllyyy,” Nikki whined into the body holding her.  A lazy smile infected her features that she hoped couldn’t be seen.

 “Nicollette Joyelle Beaumont, we will not be wasting the day away in bed,” Erica’s voice full of mock severity. 

Groaning, Nikki turned over, scooted up the bed and covered their entwined forms with the sheet.  Pouting at her girlfriend, she said, “I just knew telling you my full name would give me nothin’ but grief.”

Erica reached up and smoothed the crease that formed between Nikki’s eyes.  “And yet you didn’t mind a lick when I was using it earlier this morning or last night,” she stopped and tapped her finger to her lips as she drawled the last part, “or the night before that.”

 “Well, Erica Frances Jamison, you said it so sweetly before.  Wooed this Southern Belle right off her feet.”  Her eyes danced with merriment as she traced her love’s full bottom lip. “My full name can only be used as it falls gracefully from these gorgeous lips in the heat of passion.  Not as you sit here and scold me as if I’m a child.” 

Erica’s eyebrow rose elegantly as she licked her lip and caught the tip of Nikki’s finger.  She laved the tip with her tongue before releasing the digit and said, “But, Nikki, you misbehave with the best of Nawlins upper echelon of rich, spoilt girls.” 

Nikki’s response was that of a four year old, as she stuck her tongue out and made a face at Erica.  “Now, now just because I come from a certain background doesn’t mean I was spoilt.” 

Erica pursed her lips and offered Nikki a disbelieving look.  Conceding, Nikki said, “I just happened to be Daddy’s favorite.”

 “You’re your daddy’s only,” Erica pointed out. 

Laughing, Nikki pulled Erica closer, running her hands down the other girl’s smooth, lithe back and whined, “You weren’t supposed to mention that.”  Adjusting their position, Nikki turned Erica face down and straddled her lover’s thighs.

 “Hmm,” Nikki’s lover hummed in appreciation of the hands kneading the slightly sore muscles of her back.  Melting under her girlfriend, Erica mumbled, “Since this is the last day of our break, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to stay in bed a bit longer.”

 “Uh-huh,” Nikki said triumphantly.  Knowing her light massages worked nicely on her girl.  “Considering that it’s not only Spring Break, but our year anniversary, I feel that we should set up camp here the rest of the day.”  She teased a knot out of the middle of her lover’s back admiring the contrasting skin tones along the way.  “Room service is a wonderful thing.”

 “Indeed,” Erica agreed.  “With the start of the new term you know we’re barely gonna see each other.” 

Nikki groaned, “Don’t remind me.”

 “And if I’m gonna finish early I need to double up this next quarter,” she reminded Nikki.

 “You do know that graduating a year and a half early isn’t all that important?”

 “It is if I wanna get outta law school before twenty-five.” 

Reluctantly, Nikki agreed, “I suppose.”  Stopping her ministrations she stretched out, lying directly on top of Erica.  Stretching her arms out Nikki entwined their hands as she rested her cheek between the other girl’s shoulder blades. 

A shiver coursed down the other girl’s body as Nikki melted into her.  She let out a low hum of approval.  Silently she wondered at how well things had worked out.  How amazing her life had become with Nikki as a friend and then as her lover.  With that girl on her arm, Erica felt like she could conquer the world.   In a few years time, she’d be working with the N.A.A.C.P and Nikki would be doing whatever Nikki wished to do.

It was still a sticking point with Erica; her girl didn’t seem to have a driving need to do anything.  She was at Loyola to get her dad off her back, but Nikki had no real idea what career she might want.  For Erica, her driving passion had always been about the fight for equality.  She’d seen the discrimination since early childhood and had been on the receiving end of more than just passing racial comments. 

Nikki always joked that she was the reincarnation of Martin Luther King Jr. and that pleased her.  Erica couldn’t think of another person that held her respect in such away.  Although, much to her annoyance, Nikki became the one thing she wanted more than she did a position at the N.A.A.C.P. 

A series of kisses broke her from her comfortable musings.  The feelings of contentment that had wrapped around the young lovers began to be replaced. With each kiss Nikki placed on Erica’s back a slow need began to build in the pit of her stomach.  She groaned and turned over, trying hard not to dislodge the brunette on top of her. 

Instinctively their lips met.  The kiss began slowly then a small part in Erica’s lips allowed Nikki’s tongue to slip in.   Hands roamed and legs entwined.   Wanting to slow things down, Erica pulled back and flipped them over.  She knew, with Nikki at the helm, the girl would satiate the need burning equally through both of them as quickly as possible.  Erica wanted this to last.

Her arms braced her weight as they settled on either side Nikki’s head.  Her leg slipped between the other girl’s thighs as a devilish smile curved the corner of her mouth upwards.  Feeling her lover shudder below her, Erica smiled and set herself at a nice, even pace rocking their bodies together.

* * *

 

 Nikki bounced into the apartment calling out for Erica.  “Baby, I’m back!”  She set her purchases down next to the couch in the living room.  When no reply came, she looked around and noticed the red light on their answering machine blinking.  She walked over to the end table and hit ‘play’. 

_“Nik, Bien-aimé, I’m so sorry.  Carter caught all of us off guard and we have a group project due for tomorrow’s c lass.  Me, Janine, Alex and Darrell are at the library.  I’m gonna be late.  Sorry.  I love you.”_

Nikki let out a small sigh of annoyance.  It wasn’t that big a deal, but she was hoping Erica would be home so they could cook dinner together.  Today was her last day of class before Christmas break and while Erica had one more evening class to attend, Nikki had celebrated by dragging Darius to a sale at Saks.  Nikki shrugged.  Easy come easy go.  She’d just have to cook dinner for both of them as she silently cursed Dr. Carter for his stupid project.

Passing by a thin table that ran along the back length of the couch she smiled at the photo of Erica and her on their a0nniversary trip this last April.  While it was only mid-December the trip seemed like a warm, distant memory.  Convincing her lover to allow her to take them on a trip to Los Angeles had been like pulling teeth.  Eventually she wore Erica down. 

Making a note to try for a little get-a-way over New Years, Nikki thought of possible locations.  Convincing her daddy that these were sorely needed and that she needed to pay for Erica too was always fun.  Looking over at a picture of her and her father together a pang of regret washed through her.  Despite her and Erica being together for nearly two years she’d yet to come clean to her father.  Instead they both remained in the closet.  One day she’d tell her daddy, but she knew it would be no time soon. 

She walked back over to the bags, grabbed the handles and moved down the hall to their bedroom.  She set them on the bed and began taking the shoe boxes out of the bags.  She’d gone a little overboard, but these shoes weren’t just for her.  Erica would end up wearing them too.  In fact, Nikki had bought her a pair of pumps that she knew her lover would die for.  Smiling as that particular box was pulled from the bag, she decided that instead of wrapping them and placing them under the tree, as she’d intended, they’d be sat on the bed as a surprise for Erica when she returned.

After stashing the bags away Nikki noticed it was a little later than she thought.  She knew the school library was open until eleven tonight.  She also knew that Erica’s group was nothing if not industrious perfectionist.  They would be there until the very end.  Resigning herself to a night alone, Nikki got ready for bed.   As she settled in, she picked up the book that Erica had asked her to read, The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin.   She settled in to the bed with the book on her lap and set off reading. 

The shrill ringing of the telephone startled Nikki from her sleep.  Absently she reached over for the receiver on Erica’s side of the bed.  Finally grappling with it, she pulled it from its cradle and mumbled an annoyed, “’Ello?” 

 “Hi, is Erica there?” came the chipper bouncy voice from the other line.

Letting some of the fog clear, Nikki glanced over at the clock and realized that it was way past eleven p.m.  It was actually nine in the morning and as she quickly glanced around there was no trace of Erica coming home the night before.  Resisting the panic that welled up she told the girl on the other end of the line, “She’s actually not here right now, can I take a message?”

 “Yeah, if you can just tell her that Janine called and we just needed the closing piece for our presentation that we’ll be all set and I’ll see her in class.”

 “I’ll make sure she gets the message,” silently adding ‘After I strangle her for not coming to bed at last night.’ 

 “Thanks.  Nikki, right?” Janine asked.

 “It is,” her reply short.

 “Good to actually put a voice to the face.   Hopefully we can meet up sometime, between the picture she has of you two and the way she talks, we’d have fun.”

 “That’d be just swell.”  Gathering a bit of patience, she ended the call, “Janine, I gotta get goin’, but I’ll make sure Erica gets the message.  Take care.”

 “Bye!”

Not bothering with another platitude, she replaced the receiver and rubbed her eyes.  Sitting up, she swung her legs towards the floor and sat on the edge of their bed getting her bearings.  Grabbing her robe, she padded out into the living room, hoping to find Erica curled up on the couch. 

Much to her annoyance there was no one there.  In fact, the place looked exactly like it had when she got home last night and forgot dinner in favor of a book and sleep.   Worry wrapped itself along the base of Nikki’s spine.  Unsure of what to do, she called Darius. 

 “Yo,” came the gruff answer.

 “Darius, it’s Nikki.” She chewed her bottom lip deciding on how to approach her concerns.  “I don’t mean to bug you, but Erica didn’t come home last night.  Did you hear from her?”

The voice quickly became laced with concern as he asked, “Cher, I ain’t talked to Erica since Sunday night dinner.”

Nikki moved to the kitchen table.  Slouching down in a chair, she nervously picked at the table top.  “Darius this isn’t like her.  She always calls.”

 “I’ll be over in a five minutes,” Darius said, ending the call. 

Nikki unwound the phone cord and put it back on the hook.  She looked around the kitchen, lost.  Acid turned sourly in her stomach.  Coffee would have been nice.  She shook the idea off knowing her stomach couldn’t handle it. 

Instead she moved into the living room.  Unconsciously she took to walking the length of the room.  She tried to figure out where Erica could have gone.  If she hadn’t gone to Darius, Nikki was at a loss.  The only family she had was Darius, her grandmother and a brother that she didn’t speak to. Her not coming home last night made no sense to her lover as she wouldn’t have gone anywhere else.

It was less than five minutes when Darius let himself in with the key he had to their apartment.  He approached Nikki cautiously.  He knew by looking at her that the lines marring her face were from worry.  She may have only woken up a little bit ago, but the concern wore at her.

 “Nik,” Darius said softly.

Unthinking, Nikki rushed him, hugging him tight.

He tried to soothe her.  Rubbing his hand up and down her back, he said, “You still in bed clothes.  Why don’t you get dressed and we’ll head out.  See if we can track down that wayward girl of ours.”

Nikki nodded into his neck and released him.  “I’ll be right back.” 

Darius watched her rush to the bedroom and looked around.  He smiled as he remembered helping the girls move into this place.  It was right after their freshman year ended.  The place and the move had been good for them both.  Nikki came out a few moments later, a t-shirt of Erica’s that had the Southern Poverty Law Center’s logo emblazoned across the chest and a pair of jeans made up the brunette’s outfit. 

She walked to the couch and sat down to put on a pair of socks.  She reached under the coffee table, grabbed her tennis shoes and laced them up.  She stood absently running her fingers through her hair and looked at Darius.

 “Where are we gonna look?” she asked nervously.

Darius motioned for her to follow him.  They headed outside and he locked the door behind them.   He led her out into the crisp winter morning trying to think of places his cousin would go.

* * *

 

Darius followed Nikki into the police station.  He watched as she stood tall and ripped into the front desk clerk.   “Now, here I am, twenty-four hours later and my lov – my roommate still isn’t home.”  Nikki placed her hand on her hip and growled, “I want to file that missing person’s report.  And I want to do it now.” 

The officer at the front desk meekly shuffled a few papers and placed a small stack in front of Nikki.  Darius would’ve laughed if he wasn’t just as pissed off.  They had scoured every place either could think of for his baby cousin yet hadn’t turned up anything.  As a last ditch effort, 6 hours earlier, they had come to the police station to file a missing person’s report only to be turned away until Erica had officially been missing for twenty-four hours. 

Exasperated by the attitude’s of the cops they had talked to, they’d set up camp at a café down the street and waited the six hours in thick silence.  Darius scratched the back of his neck nervously as a cop eyed him from across the room.  He missed when Nikki spun around and latched onto his arm.  He felt himself stumbling backwards as Nikki pulled him to a set of chairs against the wall. 

Unsure of what to do he placed a hand on Nikki’s knee as she filled out the paperwork.  He watched as she pulled a photograph of Erica from her purse and softly ran finger over the image.   Clipping it to the report she stalked back up to the clerk.  He followed once again and heard Nikki say, “Are you going to let me talk to someone or not?”

Sighing the clerk picked up the phone and a few minutes later a detective came to usher them to an interview room down the hall.  Darius held Nikki’s hand as they both told the officer as much as they knew.  It was a scant thirty minutes later that they were released from the dingy, stuffy room and told that someone would contact them as soon as they had any information.  The parting advice for them was to stick by the phone in case Erica happened to call. 

Dejected they shuffled out of the police station.  Darius guided Nikki through the dark streets and escorted her home.  He wasn’t sure what his next moves were going to be but he needed to go ask around.  The places he needed to go weren’t the places Nikki ever needed to see.  In fact, when they finally found Erica and if she knew he even thought of taking Nikki to where he needed to go, he’d lose his hide.  That much he was sure of. 

Silently they entered the apartment.  Dutifully he escorted his cousin’s lover to her bed, tucking her in with promises that he’d be back before she even knew he was gone.   Watching her for a while, he left satisfied when he knew she’d finally fallen asleep. 

He sighed into the cold December air.  Thinking about his cousin and how much she’d changed since rooming with Nikki.  He didn’t care that they were together.  He didn’t care that Nikki was exactly from the type of background that he and Erica used to make fun of growing up.  Nikki was unique in that way.  She’d never let her money get in front of who she was.  If nothing else about the girl had caused Darius to like and respect her that alone would have.

He looked up as his senses told him he was almost at his destination.  While some areas of the city were quiet and sleepy, this neighborhood was not.  It teamed with life, sick, decrepit life twenty-four hours a day.   He walked into the rundown apartment building and up the rickety stairwell, by-passing three people passed out on the steps.  The third floor landing contained the smell of stale piss and cigarette smoke. 

A stereo playing indiscernible music caused the walls and door to thump softly as the bass seemed to be turned all the way up. Shaking his head, Darius didn’t even bother knocking as he entered Erica’s brothers, his cousin’s place.   He could never reconcile how Erica ended up one way and Ozzie so drastically different.  Where Erica was smart, poised and had her shit together, Ozzie was the polar opposite, his list of failures barely overshadowing his list of felonies. 

Darius shook his head as he looked around.  It may not have been a house, but the crack house still applied.  Ignoring the looks he was getting, he followed his cousin’s voice into the kitchen.  As he rounded the dingy corner into the small space, any hope he had of getting help abandoned him.

* * *

 

Nikki lingered on the edge of sleep.  The rich aroma of coffee was persistent in forcing her eyes to open.  Knowing Erica liked to surprise her some mornings with breakfast in bed, Nikki’s smile grew.   She reached up, brushed hair from her eyes and sat up. 

Her Erica was too good to her,  she knew it, but couldn't resist her loves pampering even if she had wanted to.  Turning to the other side of the bed undisturbed cold sheets caused Nikki’s face to fall in remembrance.  Erica wasn’t here.  She wasn’t home.  She wasn’t anywhere. At least nowhere that Nikki had found.  They had suffered through the Christmas holidays and New Year without Erica around. 

Suppressing the tears that came automatically she stuffed herself into her robe and shuffled out to the kitchen.  Darius’s small smile was her greeting as he offered her a cup of coffee.  Mumbling her thanks, she sat down at the kitchen table. 

“Where you wanna start lookin’ today, Nik?” he asked pulling out a chair next to her.

She sipped the hot beverage, shrugging.  She didn’t know.  They had looked high and low for the past two weeks.  Hospitals, shelters and morgues.  You name it and they had been there.  They watched the shared bank account of Nikki and Erica and no charges anywhere, no credit card transactions.  It was as if her lover had disappeared. 

The most infuriating had been the complete lack of assistance from the local police department.  It seemed as though no one was willing to help.  The detective assigned to the case took one look at Darius and then at her and rolled his eyes.  It wasn’t until she introduces herself and her last name registered that he had even wanted to entertain the idea of investigating the disappearance. 

“Nicollette,” Darius got her attention by the full use of her name and continued, “We ain’t gonna stop lookin’.  I’ve known Rica since her and I were runnin’ around in diapers.  She wouldn’t have just up and took off.”

Biting back the tears, Nikki shook her head.  “That’s just it, Dar.  I know too.”  Her jaw clenched as a tear slipped fear and tracked down her left cheek.  She let it fall into her coffee.  She watched it drop and ripple the beverage.  A sob escaped and the rest of the tears she’d been fighting off since she sat down fell. 

Darius moved from his seat and pulled Nikki to her feet, wrapping her up in his arms.  He held her as she shook.  The tears soaking through the thin t-shirt he wore.  His heart tore as he cursed whoever was responsible for Erica’s disappearance and Nikki’s pain.  He rubbed her back as the tears subsided, providing the only comfort he could.  

They stood in the kitchen holding each other.  Neither knowing what to do or say.  The shrill ring of the telephone caused both to tense and wince.  Absently, Darius reached behind him and plucked the receiver from the wall.

“Yeah?” he answered.

“Hello, this is Detective Doucet with the N.O.P.D.  I’m looking for Ms. Beaumont,”  the voice on the other end of the phone sounding gruff and tired.

“Hang on.”  Darius covered the mouth piece with his hand and motioned for Nikki.  He whispered, “Doucet’s on the phone.  He wants to talkatcha.”

Nodding, she took the receiver and said, “This is Nikki.”

“Ms. Beaumont, this is Detective Doucet.  It seems there’s been a break in your roommate’s case.  Can you meet me at the Second District precinct?”

Nikki nodded numbly then realized he couldn’t see her.  Absently she said, “Yes, we’ll be down as soon as possible.”

Hanging up the phone, she turned to Darius.  A small smile graced the corner of his lips and she turned to get ready to leave.  Darius finished up in the kitchen and went to the living room to make his ‘bed’.  Since Erica’s disappearance, he had taken to spending the night at Nikki’s.  It wasn’t a permanent thing, but it was comforting in its own way. 

Nikki came out of the bedroom a few minutes later, once again wearing a t-shirt of Erica’s, this time it was a Los Angeles Lakers shirt.  Slightly worn, but Darius recognized it as the one he’d bought for her four years ago for her birthday.  Nikki grabbed her purse, keys and jacket while Darius followed her out into the clear January morning.  

It didn’t take them long to reach the precinct off Magazine Street.  The apartment the girls shared was on the East side of Tulane’s campus off Benjamin Street.  Even in traffic they were there in fifteen minutes.  The precinct wasn’t as busy as the last time they’d been there.  But the festive holiday decorations were down, it was a small comfort as Nikki walked to the front desk.  Giving the woman her name the clerk announced her presence to Detective Doucet.  It was a few minutes later that the detective escorted them back to an interview room. 

As she took in her surroundings Nikki realized that this was the room where they had first put in the missing persons report.  It was the same drab cream colored walls that looked like they were washed with a layer of gray.  The room held only a cheap metal table with three equally uncomfortable metal chairs with thin green vinyl seats. 

She watched Remy Doucet walk into the room and take a seat opposite to Darius and herself.  She tried to read his features, to look for any tell that would indicate good news or bad news. The only thing she realized is that he looked tired.  Warring with herself she fidgeted.  She wasn’t sure what to expect.  While her heart hoped and wished for one, her head spoke another.

The detective ran his hands over thinning black hair as he sat back in his chair.  Lacing his fingers on top of a manilla folder he leaned forward and said, “Ms. Beaumont, Mr. Jamison, thanks for coming down.”

Nikki’s hand was firmly planted in Darius’ under the table.  Mutely she nodded and waited for him to continue. 

“Last night,” the detective started in, “there was a raid on a house in the Eighth Ward.  There were a few people arrested.  There were also two bodies found after the raid was finished.  I was called in to identify the body on your friend’s M.P.R..”  He sighed and watched the faces of the two in front of him fall.  “I’m sorry,” he said, standing.  He pushed the file across the table and offered, “Here are the details that I can offer.  It’s still an open case.  I’ll leave you two for a bit.” 

Not offering anything further, he turned and slipped quietly from the room.  Numbly, Nikki stared at the folder in front of her.  She knew what she was coming down here for.  Her head did at least.  The rest of her wasn’t prepared to deal with the implications.  Releasing her cramped hand from Darius she thumbed the edge of the folder unsure of what she should do. 

Darius made the decision for her and slid it in front of him.  He opened the folder to a clean headshot of his cousin’s lifeless body laid against the bright steel of a morgue table.  His jaw clenched and his teeth ached.   Of any of his family, his cousin wasn’t supposed to end up like this.  He bit the inside of his cheek to keep the tears from spilling over.  Lifting up the photo he memorized the information of where she was found.  Where the house was and in what condition her body was found.

There was no information on who was arrested, but that didn’t matter he had ways of finding out. 

He would find out. 

It felt like hours as the two sat there staring at the last photograph of Erica that would ever be taken.  Detective Doucet came back in caring a tray of coffee cups.  He smiled sheepishly as he set the tray down.  He passed out two of the cups and kept one for himself.  Gathering the folder, he sipped his coffee and flipped to the back page.  He looked up and said, “I know this is hard for you, but I need to ask some questions.”

Nikki picked at the skin around her left thumb.  It was already cracked and bleeding, but it was a distraction.  She heard herself say, “Go ahead.”

Remy watched Darius nod, then asked, “Ms. Beaumont, how long did your roommate have a drug problem?”

Nikki’s head whipped up at the accusation. “Excuse me?”

Detective Doucet repeated, “The girl’s drug problem, how long or didn’t you know?”

Heat burned in Nikki’s chest as she glanced over to Darius who shook his head.  “Why,” Nikki ground out, “do you think she had a drug problem?”

The detective scratched the back of his neck and sighed.  Apparently neither knew.  “Where she was found.  How she went missing.  The state of her finances.  Women just don’t end up in a crack house for the beignet’s, Ms. Beaumont.”

“Our finances are linked. That money is as much hers as mine.”  Her eyes burned as her mind began to link the things the detective before her wasn’t saying.  While it hadn’t been the first time, this was certainly the most offensive time that someone had jumped to conclusions.  “I assume you know who her brother is?”

Remy nodded and said, “I’ve had a look.”

Nikki held her hand up and ticked off the list, “She’s black, she came from a poor family, she’s a woman.”  Her rage burned a bit brighter as she spat, “Her family’s all but dead, except for Darius, her grandmother and her good-for-nothing-crackhead brother.  Obviously she must be a dealer, addict or whore.”

Remy held up his hands to try and stop the attack.  Nikki stood, placing her hands, palm flat against the cool steel table.  “You went and wrote her off.”  She leaned over and poked a finger at the detective’s chest.  “I haven’t.  I already know the rest of your questions and I’m not answering them.  She was a good woman – “her voice broke and she breathed in to control the tears, “she was the best person I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.”

Darius gently placed a hand on Nikki’s upper arm and whispered, “Nik.”

She shrugged his arm off and stared at the detective in front of her. 

“Ms. Beaumont,” Remy tried, “the facts of the case are just that.  Everything I have gives me all the information I need.  You best just sit and calm down.”  His teeth ground themselves together. 

“When are you going to release her body?” Nikki interrupted him.

Remy shrugged. 

Nikki reached in to her purse and grabbed a card.  She tossed it on top of the folder.  “Call them when she’s ready to be picked up. I’d like to have it done soon.”  She motioned Darius up.  They moved to the front of the door and Darius held it open. 

As Nikki was about to leave, Remy’s voice stopped her, “You know sugar, slumming it the way you are, I’d be careful.” 

Nikki turned on heel and stood in front of the smirking detective.  “Come again?”

A sneer passed over Doucet’s features as he repeated, “You keep slummin’ with that over there, you gonna end up the same way one day.” 

A hard crack echoed in the room as Nikki spat, “ _Fuck you_ , detective.”  She shook her stinging hand and nearly ran out of the room.  Darius stood there, rooted.  Surprised at the turn of events.

Remy rubbed his cheek, sure that there was a hand print on his face.  “I’d go get your meal ticket, boy.  Wouldn’t want her runnin’ off now would ya?” 

Darius looked the man over realizing that he wasn’t worth much of his time.  He opened his mouth to say as much, but stopped.  Instead he said, “You’re lucky that’s all you gonna get.”  With that he spat at the detective’s feet and followed his friend out, hoping to catch up with her.

* * *

 

“Cher, you know this is crazy,” Darius pleaded with Nikki.  Her only response was an eye roll as she went back to staring at the contents of her closet.  Finding what she was looking for, she snatched at the hangers and tossed the clothes at the bed.

Darius could only shake his head.  It had been three weeks since Erica’s funeral, five weeks since her disappearance.   They had knocked on every crack house and drug dealer’s door that Darius could dig up.  Unsurprisingly, they had turned up nothing.  

Darius was about to say something when a knock at the door drew his attention.  Leaving Nikki in the room, he approached the front door and asked, “Who’s there?”

“It’s Arthur, Darius,” The reply came.

Smiling, Darius opened the door and eagerly shook the offered hand.  Arthur glanced around the apartment and shook his head.  By the boxes and the packing supplies strewn about the room, he knew his little girl was in rare form.  He understood that the death of her roommate had hurt her deeply.  It had affected him as well as he had liked Erica and came to respect her in ways that he hadn’t ever had when it came to his daughter’s friends.

Darius spun, ready to walk towards the bedroom and back to Nikki when Arthur’s hand clamped around his upper arm.  “Darius,” he whispered, “how is she really?”  His eyes roamed over the living room and he shook his head.

The younger man shrugged and answered, “She’s Nikki, Mr. Beaumont.  And what she’s getting’ ready to do is pure crazyness.”

Arthur nodded and released his hold on his daughter’s friend.  “It may not be a bad thing.  I’ve been able to keep Erica’s death and Nikki’s involvement out of the papers.  Maybe getting away for a spell will give her time to heal.”

Nikki came out just then loaded down with suitcases.  Her face lit up as she saw her father and Darius talking.  Dropping the suitcases, she rushed to her father and wrapped her arms around him, squeezing him tight. 

“Daddy,” she breathed.  She buried her face further into his suit, inhaling the comforting scent of his aftershave. 

“Heya there, little one.”  He pulled her off him and wrapped his hands around her upper arms, scrutinizing her appearance.  “You about ready to go?”

She nodded and looked behind her at the bags in the hallway.  Darius had already started picking one of them up when Arthur said, “I’ve got a driver here to do that young man.” 

“It’s really no…” Darius’ protest was lost as Arthur shushed him again. 

“Put the bags down.  Why don’t you two go on down and tell the driver that I need some help up here.”  He shooed the two young adults out of the room and watched as they scurried down the steps. 

Nikki came out of the apartment complex and saw the car waiting at the curb, she waved at the driver and said, “Daddy could use some help upstairs.”  She watched as the tall broad-shouldered man tipped his hat and took off in the direction of her apartment. 

Darius leaned against the black Cadillac and opened his arms.  Nikki wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head on his chest.  “You know,” Darius whispered into Nikki’s hair and rested his chin on top of her head, “You don’t have to go.”

Nikki nodded and said, “And you could come with me.  I wish you would.”

“You know I can’t, _kouzin_.  I wish you’d stay,” he replied honestly.

Nikki pulled back and looked up at Darius.  She shook her head.  “I can’t.  We’ve spent weeks looking for anything and everything.  I’d spend the rest of my life if I knew it would yield something.”  Her throat grew tight and she coughed to clear it.  “With no help from that racist, pig of a cop, to coming home to an empty bed…”  She looked away and swiped at the tear that leaked from the corner of her eye.  She swiped it away and sighed.

“Darius, I need to get away before I…I can’t be _here_ right now,” she pleaded with him, hoping he’d understand. 

His jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed.  Looking down at her, he saw the truth to her words and could only nod.  Afraid that if he spoke his voice would crack and he’d lose it.  Nikki had offered to take him with her.  She said that half the money that was Erica’s now belonged to him, that he could afford the trip, but he couldn’t leave.  His maw-maw needed him here.   Nikki was really his last tie to his cousin.  It would be hard not see her almost every day.

He watched as Arthur and the driver climbed down the steps of the apartment building loaded down with bags.   He laughed a little and said, “I can’t.  You know that.”  Hooking a finger under chin, he met her eyes.  “I’ll be here when you get back t’ough.”

* * *

 

He pressed the phone to his ear and listened, “Darius, you said you was gonna come with me today.  Where are you?”

Sighing, he rolled his eyes.  “Tia, I would, but I forgot about the test today.  I’m sorry.”

“What test?” the woman on the other end asked confused.

“Nikki has her test today.  I promised her first.  She needs me here more than you need me to take you to the mall.” Darius fidgeted on the hard wood of the bench.  He’d been sitting for nearly an hour and only had few more minutes to go, but Tia had been whining in his ear for the last five minutes.  He hadn’t meant to break the promise to her.  It couldn’t be helped. 

“You know, Darius,” Tia snickered, “Ever since she came back, you been chasin’ her around.”

Darius teeth ground and he said a silent prayer that she wasn’t gonna make a fool of herself.  He really did like her, but…

“She’s a snooty, white bitch, tryin’ to piss daddy off runnin’ around with your black ass.  She ain’t ever gonna give you what you want from her.”

“It.  Ain’t.  Like.  That,” he said as calmly as possible.

“D’hell it ain’t.  She’s got you wrapped around her finger like the good little negro you are.”  Tia sneered, “Go and give her what she needs.  I ain’t gonna be here when you realize she’s playin’ you for a fool.”

“Lose my number, Tia.”  Darius slammed the phone down and banged his head off the booth wall.  He knew it was going to end this way.  Tia had been jealous of Nikki since his kouzin came back to town.

Three months ago he’d picked her up from her eight month get-a-way and he’d never been happier to see another person in his life.  Tia had their relationship pegged wrong from the jump.  He didn’t dote after Nikki, he watched out for her like he used to watch out for Erica.  He would continue to do so until Nikki told him to get lost. 

He also knew that would never happen.  In the wake of his cousin’s death, Nikki and Darius had forged a bond stronger than family.  She had insisted on burying Erica in the Beaumont Family Cemetery, much to Arthur Beaumont’s protestation, but Nikki insisted and what Nikki wanted, her father usually acquiesced to.

So three months after her return, Darius sat in the county court house, waiting on Nikki to finish up her entrance exam to the New Orleans Police Academy.   It had to be the craziest idea he’d ever heard spill from the girl’s lips, but she was insistent,  had told him that it “felt right” to try and make some changes. 

When he went with her to fill out the paperwork she’d laughed and said, “I was sittin’ on this beach in Puerto Rico and it was so peaceful.  Didn’t matter any, ‘cause all I could think about was her.  The way she fought, her passion.  Someone needs to make sure that doesn’t die.  I can’t be a lawyer.  Too bookish.  I _can_ be a cop.” She stared at him as a tear tracked down her cheek and he brushed it away with the pad of his thumb.

“Dar, I can make sure that someone doesn’t have to go through what we did.  I _need_ to.”  She smiled at him and  it was then that he saw a small spark of life in the big, brown eyes of her’s.    The way he figured if this crazy idea gave her that life back she’d been missing since Erica’s death, he’d do whatever she wanted. 

He looked up as the doors to the exam room opened, a few people spilling in to the hall.  One of the guys looked like he just found out he had terminal cancer, another guy looked green.  Following the two, Nikki was all teeth and bounce.   She launched herself at Darius as soon as she saw him, ignoring the looks from the two men that came out before her. 

“Gah!  I’m so glad that’s over!”  She squeezed him tight and then pulled him down the hall towards the exit.   She strode out into the afternoon sunlight and slipped her sunglasses on.  They walked briskly to a café across the street.  Sitting in a booth towards the back, Darius let Nikki’s infectious mood sweep him away.

“That was really pretty easy.  The test wasn’t bad, but Dar, it felt right, ya know?”  She was practically bouncing in her seat as she sipped the café au lait.  

“So you think you passed?” he asked, a smirk peaking at the corner of his mouth. 

She nodded enthusiastically and he just smiled.  She was coming back to life and he couldn’t be happier. 

Darius just nodded.  He grabbed her hand and said, “Look out Nawlins.  This city ain’t gonna know what hit’em when you get out on the streets.”

She smiled brightly and lifted her coffee mug, “To our Erica.” 

He raised his own and they clinked softly together.  “May she be happy and at peace.”

Nikki nodded and squeezed his hand.  This wasn’t where she thought she’d end up, but it was definitely a place she could live with.


	3. Corazon de Oro

The tip of my finger scratches the corner of my eye trying to rid it of the sleep that's crusted in the corner. As I remove the grit the rest of my senses kick in and I take stock of where I am, who I am with and what happened last night to give me the mother of all hangovers.

Vaguely, I remember a time when I used to wake up slowly. It was a lazy sort of way to greet the day, but there's this saying that goes 'you've got it until it's gone' or wait…it goes something like that.

Sighing I shake my head and sit up. It's a bit too early for me to start waxing philosophical. I look over at the bedside table and see my I.D and badge, declaring me Nikki Beaumont, Plain Clothes Officer of the New Orleans Police Department. It took them an extra try but at least my full name isn't displayed.

Another grin comes over me at the idea of today, February sixteenth, nineteen-ninety-eight, being my first day in my new position. I shake of the sentimentality and sit up to extract myself from the bed, careful not to disturb the body lying next to me.

I quietly slip on my robe and make my way over to the bathroom. It's early and I need to get ready. I lock the bathroom door and move to start the shower. Adjusting the temperature of the water, I let my robe fall to the floor and slip into the shower. Groaning in pleasure as the water hits my stiff muscles I think about my wardrobe choices. Do I go for a suit or just a nice pair of pants and blouse. I lean back into the water and begin my usual routine.

Oh, I can wear those new heels I bought last weekend with my black silk slacks and green blouse. Warming to the thought of finally being able to wear actual clothes to work instead of the polyester blend of the uniform makes me damn near giddy.

Sure becoming a plain-clothes officer isn't a huge thing but it was a step in the right direction, career wise.

And if nothing else at least all the rest of my stepping will be done in better footwear.

Finishing off my shower, I rinse my hair one last time and turn the water off. It's always a bit depressing when I run the hot water tank out. Stepping from the shower, I grab a towel and wrap my hair. The bathroom is hot and steamy, but I'm not quite ready to open the door up yet.

I take a moment and gather myself. With any luck, the woman who was lying beside me will have taken the hint and be gone. I unlock the door, grasp the handle and push outward wincing in anticipation. . I tiptoe out into my room and release the breath I was holding, my bed is tussled but empty.

I look at the pillow and there is a note lying on the top. I walk over, pick it up and read:

_I had a great time last night. Call me when you want to get together next time._

_Xoxo,_

_Candice – 504-555-8542_

Well isn't that just…cute. I sigh and crumple the note up, tossing it in the trash.

Shaking my head, I turn to my closet and plot my outfit.

Today is going to be a very, very fun day.

"Officer Beaumont, you think we should try and make some progress on the string of B and E's that's been making these," Ron Baird holds up the metro section of the paper that reads 'Rash of break-in's trouble New Orleans residents of 3rd Ward' and snickers. "Or should I just drop you off at the mall to hit up the shoe sales."

I smile sweetly and tilt my head. Tapping my finger to my lips, I feign giving thought to his question and say, "You think your wife would like to come with me, darlin'? I could show her a thing or two." I wiggle my eyebrows and his face goes red.

Gotcha.

He goes back to his paperwork and I laugh. Oh, how I've come to adore Ron. When I was first assigned to this precinct, he took me under his wing. When he found out who I was, he shrugged. When he found out I played for the home team more often than not, he laughed and started asking for pointers. Now eight months after my promotion, he's still the best partner I could have asked for.

Especially for being as green as I was…hell, as I still am.

"What about your contact?" He leans in over his desk and the gut he sports spills a little over the top. I keep on him to get to the gym with me, but he never wants to go.

Making a point, I poke a finger at his stomach and say, "First of all; you, me and the gym. I could make it just as much fun as watching the Saints on Sunday. Second, he has indeed. I got a call this morning. Right before I left home."

His eyes light up as he reaches behind him to snag his sports coat from the back of the chair. I follow him and we're out the door as I fill him in on what Darius gave me.

The breaking and enterings we've been working on for the past few weeks have all had a similar theme. Of course the people in the area are playing the 'see no evil' game which has made it hard. Three homes hit in less than two weeks. Forensics hasn't pulled anything and no one has tried to fence the stolen property.

We've been spinning our wheels to say the least.

That is until Darius called me this morning with a potential location of the burglars.

Ron turns left on Amsterdam and the trees get scarcer. The pretty fall colors of late September give way to a line of warehouses that look more beat up than that coffee table I donated to the Salvation Army.

We circle around the block of the warehouse and park on the opposite side of the street. Stepping out of the car, I tug on my knee length leather coat after checking to make sure that I have an extra clip secured opposite of my gun. While I'm not expecting any trouble, it usually doesn't prevent it from popping up at the most inopportune times. Gotta love Murphy, the man's more reliable than some of the laws of physics.

Now there's a thought…trouble that R.S.V.P.'s so you know when to expect and how much. I giggle a little and my partner shoots me a look. Shrugging, I nod in the direction of the warehouse and he motions for me to follow him. I actually dislike the fact that he always has to go into a place first, but I allow this one concession.

If only to save myself from his wounded boyish ego.

We round the corner at the end of the building and see one of the back doors propped open by a brick. Ron inches closer as he looks back nodding at me. I take the signal and crouch down. It's moments like these that remind me who I am and the reason of why I continue to do what I do.

I got in to the force for her. To keep her alive, if only in spirit. I stay in it because the danger loving, quasi-bad girl inside me loves doing things like this. Erica's probably looking down from on high and laughing her pretty little tush off.

I ready myself as Ron swings the door wide. He takes the upper part of the entrance and I go in low. Nothing actually happens, just the door banging off the back of the building. If anyone didn't know we were here, they do now.

The nice thing is that the inside is lit up, exposed light bulbs dangle from beams in the ceiling. The bad thing is that there are stacks of pylons and crates scattered around the warehouse floor, lots of blind spots. The word 'death trap' springs to mind and I know that if anyone is in here, they have the advantage.

I nod at my partner and we split up. I go left, he goes right. Our actions and gait mirror the other's as we move slowly forward. As light as we move, our echoing steps give us away. Adrenalin pumps through me, speeding my heart rate up the deeper I go.

The hair on the nape of my neck stands on end. I sense it before I hear it.

A scuffle, light and creeping.

Shit.

I resist the urge to call out to Ron. Instead I stop moving, straining to hear around me. Ron's stopped too, I can't hear him anymore.

I peer between the stacks of pylons through the dust infused light. Across the gap that separates me from my partner, I see him looking around. Our eyes meet and we both nod. Knowing there is at least one other person here with us, we decide to move forward. I take the first step, losing sight of him.

It's not more than five seconds later that a crack echoes off the wall. Ron grunts and I hear something clatter to the floor.

Sunavabitch.

I turn right and start off in his direction. Crossing the gap, I don't have time to see the large piece of wood come sailing through the air.

A hard, wet thunk sounds and I go down as pain radiates from left side. My face presses against the cold, dirty concrete floor. Ahead I can hear two people talking. I blink and try to see through the pain and shock.

Between not being able to see and breathe, I barely manage to make it on all fours.

I crawl forward, intent on getting to my partner. I try to call out to him, but the words come out a hiss of air and nothing more.

This can't be happening.

The grunting and wet smacks are getting louder.

I look down to my right hand, but my gun isn't there anymore.

Where'd it go?

I stop and fumble at my ankle, absently noting the new types of pain the movement brings. Removing the small thirty-eight special from my ankle holster, I resume my crawl.

Slowly, my breathing eases. It burns with each small intake, but I'm thankful of anything that I can get.

As I round the corner to where Ron's supposed to be, there's two men standing over him. One holds a gun and the other is laughing.

I watch transfixed as the hammer on the attackers' gun goes back.

Thinking goes out the window. It's all reaction.

Two pops echo and the last thing I see before passing out is the sole of Ron's shoe.

The gentle, steady beep of a machine pulls me from my dream. I cling to it as it's one of those more memory-type dreams than an actual dream. In it, Erica and I are in our apartment. It's a lazy Saturday morning. I remember her coming in with a tray of coffee and beignets.

Her smile is the last thing I see before my own eyes open.

* * *

I blink against the low lighting of the interior of a hospital room. My tongue is stuck to the roof of my mouth and my lips feel like they haven't seen a tube of lipstick or lip gloss in ages.

" _Kouzin_?" Darius' voice sounds from out of nowhere.

I try to lift my head and realize that was a very very big mistake.

"Shh, shhh…don't move," he says as I feel the warmth of his touch on my left arm. Another hand smoothes away some of my hair and he coos, "You're gonna be alright, Nik."

I try to speak but the raging case of cottonmouth prevents much more than a rasp from coming out. Sensing my need, Darius lifts a cup and pulls out a few half melted ice chips. He holds them up to my lips and I suck them in gratefully.

I give the chips a minute to work their magic before I ask, "What the hell happened?"

His hand grips mine as he says, "The warehouse I sent you to, there were a few people inside. They got the drop. Ron's fine. Been in and out of here nearly three, four times a day. Your daddy's been by just a bit more." He smiles and falters as my scowl manages to get the message across.

I want to know why it feels like I went ten rounds with Evander Holyfield.

"You took a pretty good hit." He motions to the monitors behind me and finishes, "One of the guys cracked you in the ribs with a loaded piece of wood. Two of the nails punctured your lung."

I raise my eyebrow and can't seem to find the words. I quickly think back and try to remember what happened. I remember getting hit. I remember crawling to Ron. The rest after that is a blank.

"I…" The words fail me.

Darius only offers me a smile. He sits back down and asks, "How much you want to know?"

I needn't say anything. I know my death grip on his hand says enough, says it all.

"Apparently the two assholes that got the drop on you were also about ready to shoot Ron. You capped both of them and then passed out. Then the punctured lung you had started to hemorrhage internally." His jaw tightens and he breaks away from me, eyes and hands both. He rasps, "They lost you on the way over."

Oh.

"I really don't see why I have to do this?" I whine as my father wheels me from the hospital entrance to the car that's waiting on us at the curb.

He clucks behind me and chuckles. "Now Sweetpea, the doctor and your captain said you have got to take at least a week and recuperate. You've still got a few broken ribs young lady." He stops when he gets to the car and spins the wheelchair around. Dropping to one knee, he hooks a finger under my chin and meets my annoyed gaze. "You need a bit more time to heal, Nicollette Joyelle and there will be no more of this whining. Do you understand me young lady?"

My face tints red and I only nod.

Goddamn, protocol.

Goddamn doctors.

Double damn the bastard that caught me in the side.

Instead of protesting more, I shut my mouth and allow my father to take me to the waiting limo. The door opens right before we get to the curb and I'm pleasantly surprised to see Darius scramble out of the back.

His smile is bright and wide as he tries to put on a consoling face.

I see it there in his eyes. He's secretly enjoying this. He knows how much I hate being coddled.

Pampered, yes.

Spoiled, undoubtedly.

However, being treated as an invalid or as if I'm about to break isn't something I take kindly to.

"Nikki," he says as he holds his hand out for me to take. Scowling, I take the offered hand. Moving is pretty difficult right now and standing's more than painful.

He helps ease me up and into the car. It's a standard limo. Black leather seats, sun-roof. I lean back into the seat and listen as Darius and my father struggle with wheelchair and the trunk. With a few colorful words and added banging, they finally manage to put my chair away. They both enter from the door opposite me.

"So," I say crossing my arms gingerly. "What do you two have planned for lil' ole me?" I know between the two of them that they've cooked something up, but they've kept it a secret.

A surprise if you will.

I'm not sold on liking this surprise.

"I thought," Daddy starts, "that it'd be nice to take a trip to the family home. We can rest and relax for a few days." He smiles that politician smile. The one he uses to convince constituents that siding with him is the best option.

I look at Darius and he's inspecting the carpeting. I'm sure it's very interesting.

Sighing, I relent. It's not like I was going to do much at home. I would have probably gone against doctors orders and gone into the precinct to catch up on paperwork. I roll my eyes and ask, "Phone?"

Darius produces a new phone from the inside of his jacket and says, "Yours got crushed. I re-programmed all your numbers."

"Thanks, Dar." I smile and take the phone. The menu options are a bit weird, but I can adjust. I find the phone book and hit send on Ron's home number.

His wife picks up on the third ring, "Hello?"

"Hi, Brandy."

"Nikki, hi!" her enthusiastic greeting causes me to pull the phone away from my ear a little. The woman has a set of pipes on her. I also know that I'm her favorite of all Ron's partners. She was worried when I came for Sunday dinner when we were first paired months ago.

Her worry died shortly after she realized of the two of them, I was more likely to steal her away and not Ron. I think she gets a kick out of it...

And I don't think it hurt that their sex life has improved by all her husband's accounts.

"Let me go give the phone to Ron. He was hopin' to talk to you before you went away for the week." I hear her bustle around the house. A T.V. sounds in the background and I know exactly where he's at, in front of the T.V. watching Sports Center. I swear that man and ESPN have a better relationship than any married couple I've ever known.

"Nik?" he asks.

"Heya there, sexy." I smile as his soft chuckle sounds in my ear.

"How's the ribs?" he asks.

"Not bad. You?"

"Livin'," he answers. He sighs a little and follows up with another question, "See you in seven days?"

I grin. "Five if I have it my way."

"Good. I'll keep your stack of reports warm for ya." We both laugh and a bit of the tensions ebbs.

The tension's not intentional, but neither of us knows what to really say. We sure as hell aren't going to admit to one another that we're both in pain and a little shaken. That goes against the partner code.

"I look forward to it. Take care, Ron. See you soon."

"I'll see you then, partner." He offers nothing more as the phone line goes dead.

The unwritten rule is passed down by action only. We won't talk about what happened in the warehouse. We won't discuss the damage it did to us, physical or emotional.

But, we'll be there for each other a bit more now. That much is obvious.

I close the phone and lay it next to me. I lean my head against the back of the leather bench seat, close my eyes and enjoy the ride to my daddy's childhood home.

Daddy trots off once we get me up to my room and allows Darius to help me unpack my things. He's quiet as he helps put away the clothes they packed me for the week. Something's bugging him. I mean there is probably a list of things that should be at this point, but this is something specific.

The question is, do I give him time to say what he wants or do I confront him?

Despite our bond, there are some things that he's just not comfortable sharing or talking about. Like when Erica's brother was found dead in his apartment last spring.

He kept that from me.

I think maybe it was so that I wouldn't get dragged down into it. His dreams got sidelined when Erica passed. A twinge of guilt blossoms in my chest and I wonder what we would be doing if that never happened.

Would Erica and I still be together?

I laugh a small bitter laugh and shake my head. I need to stop these foolish thoughts.

Of course, we would.

He looks over at me questioningly. I shrug. What exactly could I say?

" _Kouzin_ ," he calls me that. He's been calling me that for years. After my first anniversary with his real cousin. His hands outstretched and there's a small stack of notes in his hand.

I raise a delicate eyebrow and he tosses them on the bed.

"Those were on your voice mail at home. Shelly, Kristina, Tonya, Rebecca and Stephanie." He looks at me sadly. "They want to know when you will have time for them." His voice is laced with bitterness and concern, "When are you gonna stop this, Nikki?"

I reach for the small stack unable to meet his eyes. I don't even bother to flip through them; instead I throw them in the trash next to the bed.

I feel my bed shift and sink as he sits down next to me. "I got to them before your daddy did."

I manage a small thank you. It's not as if I'm ashamed. Well, not really. Those were one-night stands. Something to take the edge off and relax. No strings and all that. I guess I didn't make myself clear when I didn't return the first few calls from some of them. To be honest, I couldn't really put the names to the faces. I'd remember the faces, but the names elude me. Who was who on which night.

Sensing he's not going to get much more out of me, he sighs resigned. I wish there were answers for him.

I don't have many answers for myself right now. Since Erica's death, it's like I've been looking for something and even though I know I won't find it, I still can't help but look. I need to. She'd want me to.

Of course the only thing I manage to find in this inane pursuit is a hangover in the morning and an empty heart.

I watch Darius stand and walk towards the door. Without looking back, he shuts it and I'm left alone.

Gingerly, I bend over and take my shoes off. Between the drive and the chastising from Darius, I'm pretty tired. I manage to snuggle under the covers and shut my eyes.

Maybe a few hours of sleep will do me good.

I grumble as my daddy pushes me around the grounds. It's been three days since we arrived here. Three days where I can barely move on my own. Three days that I have not only my father and Darius clucking around me like a gaggle of mama hens, but three of the house staff as well.

"Can I get you anything, Miss?", "Would you like more tea, ma'am?", and it's all the same.

I should feel grateful that I have people around to do this for me.

But.

But, I've been away from this too long. If I'd had my way, I would have spent this week at home, alone.

Instead, I get to spend today of all days here, near her. Darius went out and picked up some flowers for us. I would have forgotten.

Anniversaries seem to only bring me misery. I get to remember the day my mama died, the day Erica was born and then the day she died.

It's the reason I'm here instead of in bed. Today's my Erica's birthday, September Thirtieth. She would have been twenty-six today.

I'll have to make it a point to forget sometime. Today isn't the day.

I look around at the grounds. The fall colors are beautiful. Breathtaking really. I'm glad this is her final resting place. She at least has pretty things to look at. The browns, oranges and reds of the leaves would have delighted her.

The ride stops as my father parks me next to a stone bench. Coming around he sits down on the dirty bench in his cream linen suit. I shake my head knowing that the dry cleaner is going to charge him double to get the dirt out of his pants.

He squints in the afternoon sun and takes my hand. "You know, pumpkin, your mama and I used to come out here when we were dating. She'd just love to grab a blanket and picnic basket. She'd lay there watchin' the leaves fall for hours or sometimes, she'd let me read a book to her."

I squeeze his hand. I know he doesn't like talking about mama that much. I sympathize. I don't like talking about Erica much either. He doesn't know we share a very similar bond of course, it's not like I gave him a chance to understand.

I swallow and let the moment be. The regret aches. Of all things I've done, I've only regretted one thing.

Despite the respect they both seemed to share for the other, I never gave him a chance to really get to know Erica. They would have really liked each other, I think. Maybe they would have argued about politics, but it would have been fun to watch.

I look heavenward and close my eyes. I send out a small prayer that Erica will forgive me for not tellin' my daddy about us.

"Pumpkin?"

"Yeah, Daddy," I answer, looking his way.

He offers a small pat to my arm and says, "I miss her too."

If he only knew…

* * *

I try and tuck my feet under me, but that causes a world of pain. I stop and reposition myself so that my feet are stretched out in front. Scooching up, I make sure her headstone is within arm's reach. Darius is behind me.

He's silent and unsure of what to do. I know that this was his family. His little cousin. I know he feels this as much as I do. Even though we loved her in different ways.

Blindly, I reach behind me and tug at his pant leg. "Come on handsome, come sit and visit with us."

He takes the cue and plops down on the other side of her grave. Taking the flowers from his hand, I lay them across the top of her headstone.

"Thanks, Darius," I say, squeezing his hand. "You know, sugga," I say as my hand caresses Erica's name, "you'd be real proud of our Darius."

"Hell, Thumper, you'd be more proud of your Nikki." He smiles over at me. "She's gone all responsible. Working for the five-oh. Catchin' bad guys." I watch as he picks at a blade of grass. "You two coulda been somethin' like out of the movies. It woulda been good to see."

I swipe at the tears that leak down my cheeks. I don't know what to say. Instead I focus on her name and on the inscription,  _"The quality, not the longevity, of one's life is what is important."_

He takes my hand allowing me the grace to take a moment and gather my thoughts. I finally manage to pull it together enough and say, "Rica, it's hard. I miss you some days more than I thought. You know my mama left my daddy pretty young too. I'm not sure how he did it with me around." I sniffle and Darius hands me a handkerchief from his pocket.

"Happy birthday, baby. I miss you," is the last thing I can manage. I press the tips of my middle and index finger to my lips then press them to her name.

It's then that Darius rises, leaving me alone to sit with my girl.

I'm really not sure what I would be doing if she hadn't come into my life. I'm just grateful that she did. Drawing in a shuddery breath, I manage to rest my back against her headstone.

I don't get out here often and most days her memory is bittersweet, but there's something in the air today that makes it hurt more.

I close my eyes and rest my head against the cold marble.

I know something's gotta give somewhere, I'm just not sure where and what right now.

* * *

Shifting in my seat, I look and notice Daddy studying me again. Truth is I'm still trying to figure out what the hell happened. We had two days left at the house, but he came in this morning and informed me that he had pressing business to get back to in the city.

That wasn't a huge shocker, but he's not left my side since dropping Darius off. We've been in the city for an hour the last twenty minutes of it sitting in his favorite restaurant. He's also been studying me. It's like he's trying to figure something out.

Really, I wish he would just ask about whatever's on his mind. It would save me the frustration.

The salad in front of me should look appealing. It should look like the twenty-five dollar plate that it is. Right now, the only thing that I can think is that it looks like a wilted mass of green stuff that my palate will not tolerate.

I glance up again and his eyes shift away. Sighing, I pick my napkin up from my lap and lay it on the table, signaling my completion of the meal. I manage to cross my arms over my chest lightly and stare him the eye. "What is it, Daddy? You've been looking at me like I have an extra arm or horns."

Slowly he finishes his bite then sips at his wine.

Great.

So this has turned into a power struggle.

I wouldn't mind usually, but today I'm irritable and fed up. "Out with it. I'm not playing games here," my tone is hard and the look I'm sending him should do the trick.

His lips press together thoughtfully. Resting his elbow on the table, he leans forward and asks, "What is your relationship with Darius?"

Is that what this is? I pretty sure I made our relationship clear.

"We're friends, but you already know that. We've talked about this."

"We have, but given the interaction I saw between the two of you, it would be remiss of me not to ask." He sucks his teeth for a minute and I watch his left thumb roll across the tips of his fingers. I've seen this look a bit too much.

The very few times it's been directed at me, my father and I go for weeks without talking.

"And what exactly, young lady," he says this as he leans back in his chair as if he hasn't a care in the world, "was your relationship to Erica?"

Panic, swift and sudden, sweep in. He can't know.

I stop the lie that forms on the tip of my tongue. He can see it on me. I draw in a breath and steel myself for the impending revelation. "Daddy…how did you…?"

"I saw you yesterday at her grave," he says, offering nothing more.

You know, I had been regretting not telling him what and who Erica was to me for nearly three years. Maybe it's time he knows.

"She was my girlfriend," I say as I look him in the eyes.

"Girlfriend as in girl that is a friend?"

Rolling my eyes, I realize that I'm going to have to lay it out there for him.

It had to happen sooner or later, may as well be now.

"No. As in my lover." I take a sip of water and start back up, "I've kept some things from you that I probably shouldn't have. Erica and I were together since my freshman year in college. I'm gay."

I try to reach for his hand. To console him as much as I need to be consoled, but he pulls it back, avoiding my touch. I'd be lying if I said the slight rejection didn't hurt.

What hurts more is the look of shock that's clear on his usually easy going features. I take my hand from the tabletop and rest it with the other in my lap.

I knew this would be hard for him, but I need him to understand. "Daddy, please just listen."

His jaw twitches and before I have a chance to make my case he says, "What's there to understand, Nicollette Joyelle? Not only have you lied to me and made a fool of me, you have chosen to live a life style that goes against what your mama and I have taught you."

For the first time, I'm shocked by the disdain I hear. He's disappointed that much is clear, but I wasn't expecting this.

"Just when exactly," he spits, "were you going to tell me? Were you ever?"

My mouth drops open, at a loss for words. We stare at each other and finally a few moments later the shock wears off.

Anger seeps in.

I run fingers through my hair and say, "You know what Daddy, I expect this from other people, but you?"

My hand drops and I look at the table.

I just can't look at him right now. I bite my cheek to stave off the tears that have pooled. Knowing he needs to hear this, I raise my head and look at him. "I understand your shock, but let's get one thing clear, how you and mama raised me is exactly the way I live my life. Erica was kind, sweet, smart and principled. She was everything you could have wanted for me."

I reach behind me for my purse and jacket. Standing, I carefully pull my jacket on and pull the strap of my purse over my shoulder. "You have a choice here, Daddy. I did not. I hope you make a good one."

I say nothing more, and walk as quickly as my injured body will allow outside. I turn right and round the corner of the street to grab a cab to go home. Screw my bags he can have a driver drop them off.

* * *

We shuffle into the department conference as I steel myself for an hour of progress reports and updates on cases. I'm fully aware that this is part of the job. I do, however, have things that need to be done. Ron and I are up to our eyeballs in paperwork.

I take a seat in the fourth row, next to my partner. He leans over and whispers, "What you wanna bet, Chambers takes thirty minutes just to beat us up for the uni's not meetin' quota?"

I grin and shake my head. That would figure.

A few minutes later and everyone is situated. The lights dim and our captain Derrick Chambers steps up to the podium. "Alright, everyone quiet down. Let's call together the department meeting for the first Monday in December. Please note it is December Seventh, Nineteen-ninety-eight…"

Definitely time to zone out.

I study my nails and realize I need to get a manicure, two weeks is entirely too long. Of course, if that idiot, Labeau hadn't run when we tried to collar him, I could have saved myself a two-hundred dollar dry cleaning bill and the French tips I had put on the week before.

I sigh and shake my head. At least Friday night was nice. Darius threw me a nice little get together at the apartment. Happy birthday to me. Twenty-eight and pretty much alone. I guess that wouldn't bug me so much, but since I've stopped what Darius so lovingly called it, "Fucking around." Boredom has a tendency to creep in.

He did his best as did Ron. They both had two or three girls lined up to introduce me to. All of them were…

Well, they just weren't the right one.

Darius asked after the party ended what would be the right one. I laughed.

I'm not sure there's another out there that would fit the bill.

Brandy, bless her heart, brought a co-worker and while she wasn't my type look wise, she probably was the best out of the bunch.

A quick elbow to my side has me glaring at my partner. His eyes are slightly dazed and he's pointing up at Chambers.

"Nik," he whispers, "uh…go on up."

I look at him sideways then up at Chambers. He grinning like a fool in my direction and I know I missed something important.

I rise from my chair and lean down to Ron. "What's going on?"

He stupidly grins back up at me and shakes his head. "Hot Stuff, you just got yourself a Detectives Shield."

* * *

Darius and I scramble inside out of the rain. The inside of the café is loud and chaotic, but we manage to steer our way around to a side table that just cleared up. I take the seat facing the door and he puts his dripping jacket on the opposite side.

February in New Orleans can be quite a pain in the ass, not to mention hell on my hair. I help him clear the table and place an order with the waitress who's buzzing around.

As she leaves we both watch her backside, admiring the nicety of it. Darius is the first to look away and ask, "So you gonna tell me about this new assignment or am I gonna have to find out the hard way?"

Rolling my eyes, I lean back in my chair and say, "It's a switch to a different division, Narcotics. The last case Ron and I worked lead us to some of the larger dealers, as you well know." I pause and offer him a beaming smile. "Thanks for the tip by the way."

He grins back and shrugs. "It's what we do."

"Speaking of," I say and take a small fold of bills out of my pocket and press them into his hand, "I want to make sure you get paid as a C.I."

He looks at me funny and then at the money in his hand. " _Kouzin'?_ "

"As a full fledged detective, I've been able to tap into the department resources a bit more. I pushed and got you the max amount twelve-hundred a month." I wink. "Consider some of that back pay, sugga."

He shakes his head and slips the money into his pants pocket. "As long as you ain't footin' the bill personally, I'll gladly take from Nawlin's finest."

The waitress comes back and sets down our drink orders. I take a sip of the latte and sigh. It's damn near perfect.

"So," he leads in playing with the lip of his mug, "you talk to your daddy yet?"

He just had to bring that up. I frown in his direction and say, "No. He can talk when he damn well wants. I haven't decided if I'm gonna listen."

"Nik, it's been what four, five months?"

I do a quick calculation and say, "Since the first day of October. It's what the twenty-first. So yeah a little over five months."

His face turns dark as he looks out the rain-clouded window. Nodding, he looks at me grimly.

What else am I supposed to say? I'm not the one with the problem. It's his.

He drains his coffee and takes my hand giving it a reassuring squeeze. He stands and starts to put on his coat. Looking down at me, he smiles and says, "Give me a call after you're done and don't kill me next time you see me."

I look at him funny, wondering what the hell he's talking about. I stop wondering when my dad appears behind him.

Damnit!

I send Darius a scathing look and acknowledge my father with nothing more than a slight dip of my chin.

My father clears his throat and says, "Would you mind if I took a seat?"

I raise my eyebrow and then, finally, relent gesturing with my hand for him to sit.

His smile is warm and genuine as he sits down across from me. Funny, I didn't notice Darius leaving. The boy's in serious trouble next time I see him.

An odd silence settles over us. It's uncomfortable and annoying.

I wait for him to say something.

Nothing comes, so I decide to end the silence, "Is there's something that I can do for you?"

It's cold and probably out of line, but I just can't seem to give a shit right now.

His hands go up in an apologetic gesture as he says, "I had heard you got promoted. Going to Narcotics. I spoke with Darius yesterday and he was kind enough to help me set up this meeting."

He shrugs off his coat and leans forward, dropping his voice, "I wasn't sure if you'd talk to me, pumpkin, but I have a few things to say to you."

I sigh and lean back in my chair. This should be good. I pick up my latte and take a sip, grimacing as the cold and bitter drink runs down my throat.

He accepts my silence as permission to proceed. "This is a bit odd. I'm not sure where to start. I suppose the first would be to ask for your forgiveness." His hands fold together in front of him and he continues, "I reacted rashly and poorly to what you told me about you and Erica. I was a horse's ass and if we could, I'd like to take back that particular conversation."

"That's supposed to make your silence from the last five months okay?" I ask.

"Well, no. It's a start. I've done quite a bit of thinking and I've come to this decision. Your life is your own. You are a beautiful, intelligent woman who has got the world at her fingertips. You are my daughter. That above everything else should come first. You and I, pumpkin don't have a lot of family left. It'd be a shame to lose each other over who you choose to take to your bedroom…"

"And that's just it…" I lean forward and poke him in the shoulder. "There's no choice, Daddy. It's just what is."

He leans back and takes hold of my hand. "I'm sorry, I misspoke. Not who you choose, but let's just say who you love. The heart wants what the heart wants, my dear. That can't be changed. I know that here." He takes the finger that just poked him and uses it to tap the side of his head. He then takes the whole hand and lays it palm flat against his chest, over his heart and says, "I was having a harder time with that here."

He releases my hand and I blink back tears. Picking back up again, he says, "So, as my daughter I will love you no matter what. God, himself could not change that fact. Moreover, I'm sorry for forcing you to tell me the way that you did, that couldn't have been easy."

I can only nod and wipe away the few tears that escaped.

"I talked to Darius about Erica a bit, about your relationship with her. I'll tell you it explains quite a bit. I'm sorry I wasn't there to support you as much as I should have. He says that you two were very much in love."

I smile and say, "We were. As for your support…I never gave you that opportunity. You shouldn't shoulder that alone. That was partly my fault."

He smiles a little and nods. "Fair enough. I also came to say congratulations on the promotion."

I take his hand and squeeze. "Thank you."

"We're okay?" he asks, hopefully.

"I think we will be. I love you, Daddy."

"And I love you, Nikki. Don't forget that. It may take me a while to come around sometimes, but this," he raises our joined hands, "doesn't change. You're all I have left. I will hold on to you with both hands until I take my last breath." He laughs a little to break some of the tension created by the seriousness of the conversation and it lightens the mood instantly. "Hey, why don't we go and have a celebratory dinner over at Rex's.?"

"That," I say, standing, "sounds like a wonderful idea."

"Splendid." He helps me with my coat and I wait as he shrugs his own back on. We move to the front of the café, preparing ourselves to dart to his car, wherever it's parked.

My hand rests on the handle when he asks from behind me, "So what does this mean about my grandchildren?"

I roll my eyes and dart into to the pouring rain. I don't have the heart to tell him his grandchildren aren't in the foreseeable or even distant future.


	4. Leave the Pieces

I rest against the high, leather back of the booth I'm in. Taking in the smooth jazz that's being played towards the rear of the club, I think it's these small moments that I live for. Where everything is perfect; with a nice, smooth bourbon to drink, time with my friends and great music. I feel more at home here than anywhere else sometimes. Even the cigarette smoke adds to the feel of the place as I pick up small bits of conversation mixed with the clink and clatter of glasses and beer bottles.

"Nor," Ann's voice sounds to my left, bringing me out of my head and causing me to turn and crack an eye in her direction. "You didn't fall asleep on me did you?" She smirks at me and I laugh.

"No, I most certainly did not. I'm just enjoying the moment," I say as I pick up my drink and take a sip. "Seeing as how you're leaving me, we won't have the chance to do this much anymore."

She nods and a small look of regret passes over her features. Reaching for her hand, I give it a squeeze and say, "It's a good thing."

She sighs wistfully and with her drink in her hand, points to the bar. "I can't lie. I'd follow that woman into Hell."

I turn my gaze to the backside of Jill and laugh. I know that's true. "Of course," I say, "the fact that going back to Richmond means you're also joining up and becoming a suit doesn't hurt."

She blushes and nods. "Can you blame me? A chance in the Bureau is nearly a dream come true."

"Can't believe you're going federal on me." I shake my head.

"They would offer you a spot," she says, teasing.

She and I both know that's the last damn thing I'd want to do.

"Although that'd mean leaving the great state of Louisiana," she purrs.

"That ain't gonna happen. I'd have to give up this newly minted detective's shield for a suit and high heels. Besides, Special Agent Flemming, I'm a Southerner and I damn well intend to stay that way." I make of show of pounding my fist against the tabletop for emphasis and it sends her into a fit of giggles.

I'm gonna miss hearing her laugh.

Once she gets herself under control, she sobers and looks back up at the bar. "Nor, you gonna be okay?"

I grin. "I got on without you for twenty-one years; I think I can manage not having you around all day every day. It does mean you have to visit though."

"That," she says as she slings an arm around my shoulders, "is something I can most definitely do." She pulls me tight and says, "So, since you won't have my gorgeous ass to look at, what are you gonna do about the gorgeous ass you've been dating for the past four months?" She air quotes the word 'dating' and sends me a sour look.

"The same as I have been," I say shrugging. I look back up at the bar and Jill and Casey are still talking. How Casey is able to fill drink orders and listen to Jill talk is beyond me, but they both seem to be enjoying themselves.

"So the idea of settling down a bit in a serious relationship doesn't appeal?" She smirks at me. I hate it when she looks at me like that. "Nora, baby, darling, suggapie, you know, that I know that you are probably one of the world's last true romantics. You are the type of woman that was born for a serious relationship." She raises a sculpted eyebrow at me and presses, "What gives?"

I squirm. "It's not her…"

"It's me," she echoes and mocks. Pursing her lips, her arms fold across her chest and she says, "Bullshit. But I'll give you your bullshit for a moment and ask you this: If it were me, where would we be today?"

I sit slack jawed, rubbing the back of my neck. How exactly do I answer that?

Apparently, I don't have to. "Nora, forget what your parents say or think. I know you. Casey's a nice girl. She's smart and fucking hilarious. It also doesn't hurt that she's drop dead gorgeous with big, brown doe eyes that melt every time she sees you."

The corner of my mouth turns up in a smirk. Yeah, she really does have some of the prettiest eyes I've ever seen. Sighing, I hold my hand up in concession. "Ann, I appreciate it, but it's just not the right time. Do you understand?"

She looks at me for a minute before nodding. "That tune will change Nora Delaney. When you meet the right woman, that tune will most certainly change."

Luckily, I'm saved from any more mothering as Jill slides in next to Ann and Casey's body presses against mine. I turn my head and accept the hello kiss. Pulling back, I ask, "Break?"

She shakes her head. "Nope, I'm all done. Eddie took over so I can spend the last night out with some friends before they hightail it out of NOLA."

Jill and Ann beam and I can't help but smile. Happy that they are happy. I'm going to miss both of them, Ann more than Jill, although she's become a good friend too, but Ann will be missed the most. I raise my tumbler and wait for the ladies at my table to do the same. With our drinks held high, I toast, "To Jill and Ann. May the great state of Louisiana bite you in the ass on your way out and may that bite be followed by years of happiness."

Our glasses clink in a chorus of 'here here's' as I settle in for a memorable evening.

* * *

I stuff my gym bag inside my locker and grab my holstered gun. Clipping it to my belt, I also make sure my badge is secured on the opposite hip. I smile. Sometimes it's the small things that just make everything alright. I make my way out of the women's locker room and head straight for my desk, making sure to say hello to some of the officers scattered around.

By the time I make it through the maze of desks my partner's just sitting down at his. As usual he's red faced and huffing. Jerry's not a horrible guy. We just don't get along real well. I smile at him and say, "Mornin'."

"Nora," he acknowledges my presence with a nod and begins to check his voice mail.

Right, he's going to be in rare form today. I take my seat and check through the messages Patty pulled for me this morning before I got in. The first one just reads, "Crazy cat lady wants to report that she's being spied on." And below in red block lettering, "DO NOT CALL – third call this week." I laugh, crumple it up and toss it in the trash. The next is from a witness I need to follow up with. I debate calling him right now, but stop. He's a night foreman at a local warehouse. He's probably just now getting to sleep.

Setting that aside, I look at the other two. One's from my mom, the other is "Special Agent Flemming called said that she needs to speak with you. Call when you can 804-555-1546 said something about getting ready to eat peaches…?" I laugh and shake my head.

Of course she would. They've been gone three months and it seems the only thing the northern air has done for Ann is make her a tad more of a pervert. I crumple the message and toss it in the trash, making a note to call her on my lunch break.

"Delaney," Jerry says garnering my attention. "Cap'n called said there was another jump last night. Wants us to see if it's related to the one we caught the other day." He stands to leave and I toss my mother's message on to my desk.

She's going to have to wait.

Catching up to Jerry isn't that hard. The man moves slower than molasses on his good days. Today isn't one of his good days. His eyes are bloodshot and he has two day old stubble that would make sandpaper jealous.

"I'm driving," I declare before he even has a chance to fish his keys out his pockets. I'm not sure if he's still drunk or just horribly hungover. I'm really not takin' any chances one way or the other.

He grumps, but still follows me to my baby. I run a hand over the shiny, black, wax coated surface of June Lee, my nineteen-sixty-eight El Camino. I pat her lovingly and whisper, "Mama loves you." Jerry's opens the passenger door and manages to annoy me by slamming it closed behind him. Another soft pat and a coo, "Even if some don't, but I'll get him for you."

I slip inside the car and crank the engine over. It really is music to my ears.

I pull out of the parking as Jerry gives me the name of the hospital of our latest victim. I head south and am parked in the hospital visitor's lot in under fifteen minutes. Given the mid-morning traffic, I'm mildly pleased with myself.

Jerry stumbles out of June and snaps, "Could you have gotten here breaking more traffic laws?"

I shrug and say, "Probably, but I didn't want to give that old ticker of yours a reason to quit on me before we got here."

I ignore the grumbling under his breath and follow him inside.

The hospital's like any other. White linoleum floors, off white walls, with hideous splashes of color. We flash our badges and ask for the name of the latest victim, Ryan Luther. The candy striper on duty sends us up three flights of stairs to room three-twenty-one.

I put a hand on Jerry's arm and stop him before he steps through the open door. "Let me do the talking with this one, Jerr." Not leaving him anytime to respond, I dart inside the low lighted room. I only notice one occupant as I walk over to the bed and see the battered face of Ryan Luther. He has stitches in his forehead and cheek. One eye is swollen shut while the rest of his face is varying shades of purple and blue. One arm is elevated and wrapped in a cast.

Whoever did this was mad, that much is obvious. An image of Wyle E. Coyote comes to mind and I resist the urge to snark about the roadrunner. Sometimes I think being a cop has done nothing for my sense of compassion and empathy.

Approaching the bed cautiously, I say, "Hi Ryan. My name's Detective Delaney and this is my partner, Detective Tombridge. We're with the N.O.P.D. and we'd like to ask you some questions about the attack."

He blinks at me and finally manages to find his voice, "There ain't much to say. I was walkin' home and got jumped. Didn't see anyone, don't know what any of 'em looked like."

So there was more than one. That's one consistency with the other beating. I ask for clarification, "So there was more than one attacker?"

He tries to roll his eyes and sigh, but only manages to cause himself pain. Instead, he snips, "I dunno. Maybe. It was hard to tell after the first kick to my head."

I nod. The boy's already shut down and I know that he won't say anything anymore. Time to cut ties and scram. "Alright," I say pulling a card from the back pocket of my jeans. "I'm going to leave you my card. If you think of anything that might help, please call." I set the card on the bedside table and add, "We think your attack might be related to another. We'd like to stop others from getting hurt. Anything you might have to tell us could be helpful."

I turn around and pull Jerry out of the room.

"Ya know, Delaney," Jerry drawls on our ride down to the lobby, "he ain't gonna say nothin' else. Kid's scared. Just like the other."

I want to disagree. I want to tell him to stuff it. I don't. He's right and we can't rely on the victims to help us with this.

We make our way back outside and the spring chill has given away to muggy heat and I find myself wondering why I was wishin' for the summer to come so soon.

* * *

Fingers ghost up and down my back, causing me to mumble, "If you keep at that, Casey Gerard, you and I will not be going to sleep anytime soon."

She giggles. "Is that such a bad thing?"

I roll over and in one swift movement capture her in my arms. "Yeah," I inform, kissing her forehead and then her cheek. "I need to be at the hospital in the morning."

She grows quiet and then asks, "How's he doing?"

I shrug. "He's dying."

Her arms wrap around me tighter as she snuggles further into me. Gladly I accept the offer of comfort. I won't talk about it much. Really there's not much to say. He's my dad. He raised me, he's made me who I am and there isn't a thing I wouldn't do for him. If I could trade places with him, I would.

I can't.

And that's the most frustrating thing.

This sense of helplessness that's infused me. I'm a cop for Christ's sake and I can't even save the one person responsible for making me who I am because…

Because it's not an outside force that's doing this. It's a disease.

"Nora, baby, if you wanna," she stops and fidgets with my hair, "I mean, look I know you and I are pretty casual, but if you wanna talk about it, I'm here."

"Cas, there really isn't much to say. The chemo isn't working and they can't radiate the lungs. We've been battling this for a year. I know the outcome."

She tilts her head and looks up at me. "Maybe you do, but your dad's dying of cancer and I know that has to hurt."

I shrug and as I watch her look at me, I know I'm going to have to admit something. "It does, but I've accepted that. The only thing that I can hope for now is that he doesn't suffer."

Her head drops back down to rest between my breasts seeming to accept the answer I gave. Silently, I'm thankful for her not pressing the issue. It's not something I want to talk to about. Especially not with her.

I run my fingers through her hair and love the way the short, silky strands slip through my fingers. I'm thankful I let her buy that drink those months ago and I'm also really happy that we can share a bed. It's honestly one of the easiest relationships that I've had.

I smile as I think back to the first night we met. She took me home and she made it a point to inform me that she wasn't a "relationship" type of gal.

_My shirt is pulled over my head and the woman responsible for my current state of undress grins devilishly up at me. I lean in to recapture her lips, the need to move things along beginning to burn._

_She stops me with a slim finger pressed against my lips and says, "Look, before this goes further, uh…"_

_She searches my face for something and my eyes narrow playfully, knowing what she's looking for. Happily, I supply, "Nora."_

_A rosy hue colors her cheeks a tad and she smiles at me, a huge thousand watt smile. "Thank you. Nora, I'm not…I do this every so often. Not real often mind you, but I don't want you to think that this is going to turn into…"_

_I press a finger to her lips in a similar fashion. It's really sweet that she's taking the time to explain this to me, but at this moment I could really care less. My pants are down around my ankles, my panties are soaked and my bra is hanging from my shoulders. Smiling, I say, "Any and all legal disclosures, darling, are understood. We're here to have fun – no strings, no promises in the morning, but I swear that if you don't continue to do what we came here to do, I will sue for breach of contract."_

_Her face lights up and she moves in to cover my lips with her own. Her hands go back to making sure that I'm naked and I try to do the same for her. I sigh and moan into her, glad that we're both on the same page and that her hand has finally moved underneath my panties._

I find it funny that even as our first encounter was as casual as it could have possibly been, we're still each other's booty call over six months later. She's got a key to my place, as I do hers, but it's still a no label, no commitment arrangement that suits me just fine.

I'm also very thankful that Casey is as casual about it as I am or at least I hope she is. We've never really discussed it, but for some reason, tonight, there's a need to know. "Cas?" I say softly not wanting to stir her if she's sleeping.

"Hmm," she answers back.

"Uh, I know this is a little late comin', but what are we or what do you want us to be?" I ask nervously.

She turns her face up to me and blinks trying to adjust to the soft light of the room. "Eh?"

I take a hand and smooth away some of the hair that's covering her beautiful face. "I was just thinkin' that we've been doing this for awhile and I really don't want anyone to get hurt."

One of her hands comes up and mops her face, trying to catch up with the conversation I started. I should have just let well enough alone.

As she's about to respond, my pager vibrates its way across the bedside table and we both groan. I reach for the stupid thing and read the display. Jerry's number and nine-one-one appear on the small display. Instinctively, I reach for the phone. Dialing his number, I smile apologetically to Casey who smirks and buries her head back into my chest, playing with the smooth skin between my breasts.

"Tombridge," my partner answers.

"Jerry, it's five in the fucking morning. What gives?" I answer back.

"Delaney," he semi-slurs into the line, "Well, good fuckin' mornin' to you too."

And this is exactly what I don't need. "Jer, what's up?" I need to get him back on track.

"Oh, yeah, uh," he stops talking and I hear some rustling of some papers and he picks back up, "There's another kid that got the shit kicked out of him. Same area, alley off Dauphine, near Toulouse."

Well so much for sleep.

"Alright, I'll be there soon. Are you gonna be at the scene?"

"Fuck yeah I'm gonna be there."

I think a second before replying. "Jerry, look, why don't you get some sleep. I'll handle the techs, any witnesses and vic. Meet me at the station house at nine?"

Stony silence meets my offer, so I try again, "Jer, it won't do either of us any good if both of us are sleep deprived. You come in fresh and then maybe let me cut out a bit early? It'd be a favor to me."

He sighs and manages, "Yeah, alright Delaney. I'll see you in a few hours." The line goes dead and I exhale.

Well that was one fire put out. Now, if he'll be sober by nine a.m. is a whole different story, but one can hope.

I set the phone down and Casey, grudgingly, rolls off me as I move to stand up. I pick up my scattered clothes, jeans, underwear, bra and a faded Zeppelin t-shirt that I wore over here. I manage to dress in the most efficient way possible and am nearly ready to go. I grab my gun and badge that I had rested on top of her dresser, securing them both to my belt.

Casey's apartment is a large studio that I find mismatched and like her, uncomplicated. She's risen from the bed and has found a pair of shorts and a tank top to put on before she walks me to the door. We hover at the doorway as she pulls me to her using my shirt as handles.

She rises on her tip toes and presses her lips firmly to mine. I find it cute that she's so short. I'm not an Amazon, but I'm five-foot-seven-inches and Casey's lucky if I give her five-feet even. She breaks away, leaving me warm and slightly hazed. A small blush colors my cheeks and she smirks. "We are what we are Nora. That's what's good about us." She lays her hands on my shoulders and turns me around to face the hallway. "Now scoot. I need sleep and you have to go catch bad guys."

With a swat on my ass, she sends me down the hallway and out of the building into the cool May morning. Fishing June's keys from my pocket, I hop inside and head off towards the Quarter, not looking forward to whatever will be waiting on me there.

* * *

I finally stumble into the precinct. I'm exhausted, it's nearly noon and the only thing I had to eat since four o'clock yesterday afternoon was half a catfish po-boy from Luizetta's. I bypass my desk and head straight for the coffee station. Peering in, the only thing that looks back at me is a tar-like ring of something that once resembled coffee.

I bite my lip and resist the urge to cuss the string of expletives that have popped up into my brain. Instead, I turn around, head right back out and dart across the street to a small café. I order a large coffee and a double meat, double cheese sandwich and head back to the precinct.

I should have just stopped before I got in, but I was so excited. We have, or I have, a lead. Two hours at the scene that went from aggravated assault to murder, but there's finally a lead. I just need to eat and have something in my stomach before I share with Jerry.

I'm not really sure how he's going to take it. I'm really not sure how I'm taking it. I was supposed to be at the hospital with my mom at nine this morning. That got shot to hell and instead of spending some time with her like I know I should I get to go with my lush of a partner and try to find a few kids that like to beat the shit of the other for the hell of it.

I set my coffee and sandwich down, looking around for my partner. Not seeing him, I sigh and sit down, preparing myself to dig into my sandwich. Unwrapping my food, I lick my lips and prepare myself for the first bite.

The ringing of my phone stops me from taking it and I glare at the offending piece of technology. For the love of God, I just want to fucking have a bite to eat. I sigh and put down my food and grab my phone instead. "Delaney," I answer.

"Nora?" Charlie, our new medical examiner, answers.

"Hey there, buddy." I pick up a napkin and wipe my greasy finger tips. "You got anything for me?"

"I do. I was just gonna do a preliminary of the body and found something interesting." I hear paper crinkling in the back and wonder what he's doing.

"Alright, you wanna tell me what it is?" I look up and see Jerry come from the back hallway. He gives a small wave and I resist the urge to shake my head.

He looked like shit yesterday. Today he looks like something that shit would shit out.

"Why don't you come on down and I'll show you. We can even have lunch afterwards."

I think about his offer and begin to re-wrap my sandwich. That's not horrible and it would kill two birds with one stone. "Fine, do you want me to pick you up anything?"

"Nah, the missus packed me a fine lunch. Just bring yours and if you're really lucky I may even share my pudding cup with you." He laughs and I smile.

He really is a good guy.

"Alright, give me five minutes and I'll be there." He mumbles his okay and I hang up the phone.

"Be where?" Jerry asks as he takes his seat and pulls open his bottom drawer, coming up with a bottle of aspirin and bottle of water.

"Charlie's got some info to share." I give him a once over and come up with a plan. "Look, why don't I head over to the morgue, find out what Charlie's got for us. I'll call you when I'm done and fill you in. You can take over for the rest of the day and let me cut out early. I need to get over to the hospital sometime today before my mama does somethin' drastic like call Thibodeaux and put me on leave or worse, breaks down and finds someone to work some gris-gris."

He dumps four aspirin into the palm of his hand and knocks them back, chasing it with the bottled water. He nods as he grimaces and swallows the pill and liquid. Once he's able to speak, he says, "Yeah sure. Call me."

I don't give him much else as I stuff my sandwich back in its bag and snatch my coffee from my desk. I'll fill Jerry in when I call him later. I make my way out of the station house, hop into June and head south on Royal Street. It takes a few minutes longer than I'd like, but I get there soon enough and manage to find a parking spot right in front on Camp. I stick the police placard in June's windshield and head in.

The Medical Examiner's office is a four story brick building that looks like a set of apartments. It's not something you'd think that holds lockers for dead people and lab rats on the first three floors. That's exactly what it is though. I enter through the lobby and sign in. I head towards the basement steps and follow the well worn path to Charlie's office.

His door's open and when I step through he's talking animatedly to someone on the phone. I allow him a minute to finish his conversation before sitting down. He smiles at me and holds up one finger, signaling his request for patience.

His conversation comes to a close and he smiles at me. "Nora, how's life?"

I shrug and take a sip of my coffee. "The same. So…you have something for me?"

He nods and takes a chunk out of his three layer sandwich while handing me a file folder. Leaning back into the chair, I open it and find a small stack of eight-by-ten glossies of…tilting my head I try to figure out what I'm looking at.

Charlie must see the confusion on my face as he says, "Those are of the inside of our victim's colon. You're looking at two objects. The first one, when removed, is the third photograph in the stack." I quickly flip to the one he's talking about and a crumpled Nazi flag is unfolded against a stainless steel tray. "The second thing that was removed was the shell of an M80." The photo behind the flag shows it's partially hollowed out burnt cardboard shell.

I swallow trying to resist the urge to vomit.

I look up at Charlie as he chews happily away on his sandwich. My jaw clenches and I breathe through my nose to stave off the nausea.

"When I looked at the body at the scene I noticed some irregularities, but didn't wanna say anything in case I was wrong. It's why I looked at the boy the first thing. I've got six other bodies stacked in the racks, but for you, darlin', I went and made this the first of the day." He sets his sandwich down and leans back, his face grim. "This poor kid took a beating, Nora. He was beat, then raped. From the damage to his throat, I'd say that they forced this kid to perform fellatio then or at the same time, I can't be sure, sodomized him. After that, they shoved the firework up him and the flag."

I shake my head trying to get the picture of this out of my mind. Trying to quell the rage and sickness bubbling up. I manage to get out a question, "How'd they…the M80, how'd it get lit?"

Charlie sighs and says, "The paths pretty clear, the fuse was extended and lit outside the anal cavity."

"So cause of death?" I ask.

"Endotoximia and shock. The kid wasn't supposed to make it through that. As soon as the lower intestines ruptured, it released millions of bacteria into his abdominal cavity. He didn't have a chance."

"How long?" I'm amazed I can manage short sentences at this point. I always wondered what the whole "I'm so mad my blood is boiling" thing was about. I get it now.

"He may have lasted a minute. My estimation is less. The shock would have masked the pain and then he would have had at the most five minutes." He sips his juice box and says, "I've got my guys in the lab running all the tests. It's going to be a few weeks before you get any DNA information back, but I can at least have the histological and hematological reports back to you sometime tomorrow. We're also runnin' tox screens and the like."

"Links?" I manage. I was trying for something different. I hope he understands.

"I'm trying to rush. See if the semen that was found in the anal cavity match what we could harvest from the esophagus and stomach. I'll let you know, Nor." He smiles at me. It's warm and sincere. It's completely out of place for the information he just gave me.

I nod. I look at the sack of food containing the sandwich I brought with me. The idea of eating nearly accomplishes what Charlie's detailed findings didn't. I toss the bag of food in the waste basket by his desk.

Who needs to eat anyhow?

I stand and hand him back the file he gave me. He shakes his head and says, "I made you a copy. I'll courier over a complete one by tomorrow morning. Take it."

I nod and say, "Thanks."

Turning I have my hand on the door, but his voice stops me, "Nora, this kid, the I.D. puts him at nineteen years old. It's obvious how much he suffered. You  _will_  find the S.O.B.'s that did this and when you do, give'em a kick to the kidney's for me."

I turn back and offer a weak smile. He grins at me and winks. I open the door and shuffle out. I make my way out of the building, shoulders slumped and way more tired than when I went in.

* * *

I hand the nurse back the phone and thank her for its use. With Jerry filled in on some of the latest findings, I at least can trust him enough to start looking for the pieces to the puzzle, and do so in the right direction. I drag my weary ass to the bank of elevators and ride them up the four flights to my father's room.

This really isn't something that I'm looking forward to. I know that it's something I need to do, but since…well since my entrance into the force, there's this wall that's been building brick by brick between me and my family, or at least me and my parents. My brother's I don't see much of, Patrick took off to join the Marines, no doubt he's crazier than horse shit – and I know for damn sure the service didn't help him none. Terry's got a job with the National Guard and is stationed in Baton Rouge. He comes home for the holidays and the occasional birthday. Bobby's the only one I got left in the area and we're okay. He's just now graduating the academy and is more green than the ones my mama cooks for family dinner.

I'm twenty-seven which means my mom can only seem to focus on me "settling down" and she doesn't seem to see that, that just isn't me. I straighten my back and prepare myself for the upcoming confrontations. None of my brothers are here today even though both Terry and Patrick have come in on a small leave from their jobs. I'm the only still actively working.

I stride along the east corridor of Tulane's Cancer Center and hope that I can be spared, even just a little bit today. I find my father's hospital room and knock on the closed door before peaking my nose inside. My mother's stoic, Irish features smile grimly at me.

"Nora, dear. Come on in. Your daddy and I were just talkin' about you." She rises from her seat next to the bed and pulls me fully inside. I close my eyes briefly before taking in the man lying in the bed. There are two monitors hooked to his chest with pads, one I.V. sticks from the back of his hand pumping in a weird yellowish substance, the other I.V., the one they call a 'Central Line' sticks out from the internal jugular vein on the right side of his neck.

He smiles at me weakly and motions for me to come sit down on the other side of him. My mother lets my hand go and I move to the right side of his bed and offer a light kiss on his cheek. Taking the brown plastic chair, I scoot it closer and take my father's hand. He gives a light squeeze in return.

We both turn our attention to mama as she says, "Nora, you look absolutely dreadful. When's the last time you got some sleep."

I sigh. Gee thanks mom. I love you too. Instead of the sarcastic remark that would usually get me into trouble, I shrug. "A day or two ago. Jerry and I caught a case that went from serial beatings to murder. I've been working non-stop since early this morning."

Her head tilts to the side. "You get called out while you were asleep?"

I shake my head. "I was at home," I lie, "but not asleep."

She clucks her tongue in a way that shows her displeasure. She's become a master at that over the years. When my brothers and me were growing up, she'd just come out and tell you. Now, since we're all grown, she clucks.

It drives me up a wall. Her sayin' something one way or the other would be preferable to the clucking she's mastered.

"Mama," my Daddy rasps, "I'm sure our little girl could use a cup of coffee and maybe something to eat."

I watch her blonde head nod in agreement, as she leans down and reaches for her purse. "I'll just run down then and grab something from the cafeteria." She pats his hand and kisses him on the forehead. "You want me to pick you up a bit of that cherry-slushy thing you like?"

He nods and she turns to leave the room. We both watch as she shuts the door behind her and both of us relax a bit.

My father breaks the silence and says, "I swear I love that woman to death, but sometimes she just don't know when to leave well enough alone."

I laugh a little and he smiles. "You know,  _pitit fi_ , she ain't changed that much since we started dating forty years ago. She's still the spit fire that I fell in love with."

"Daddy, I don't think she ever will change. That woman will probably outlast us all." I squeeze his hand and my joke sends him into a coughing a fit. The monitors pick up a bit until he finally manages to regain his composure.

"I have a sneaking suspicion you may be right." He takes a moment and regains his breath, slipping the oxygen mask down to cover his nose and mouth. I watch as condensation builds inside of the clear plastic shell.

A few deep breaths later and he removes it. His grip tightens on my hand and he stares me in the eye. "Nora Marie," he rasps and I do an internal groan. The man only uses my full name when I'm in trouble.

Shit.

"You and I need to talk," he says, "I'm gonna say this first 'cause it's the most important." He pulls down his mask and takes a deep breath before removing it. "I love you. That won't change. So take what I gotta say to heart. I know what you are Nora Marie."

I blanch and he sucks in more oxygen.

"You," he continues removing his mask, "didn't listen to me when it came to that woman, Ann. The force don't like queers. There was one I knew of a bit before I retired." He pulls more oxygen in and continues, "When the boys found out, they made his life so hard, he ate his service revolver in the locker room."

I try to let go of his hand, but he holds strong.

The mask is brought to his face once again and afterwards he looks at me, his eyes full of sorrow. "I don't rightly know if you can change what you are, but I'm tellin' you now, you don't let a soul know. Your family in blue will stick by you in most cases, but depravity such as the one you've chosen, will not be tolerated."

My jaw clenches and I resist the urge to flee.

The mask drops and he pushes, "Not only do you keep your private life private; you protect that woman that's spent most her life with this  _aje moun_." He takes the masks and sucks in a deep breath. Once he's finished, the mask comes up and rests on his forehead. He grips my hands and forces me to look him in his eyes, "I couldn't stand anything happenin' to you. You promise me, Nora Marie Delaney, you tell no one. Especially your mama. Don't break her heart, like you broke mine."

I keep the tears at bay; I keep my grip frim and nod my agreement. My head swims and I feel like I've been dropped into the middle of a life that isn't mine. I can't wrap my head around what he said. What he asked.

His mask slips back over his nose and mouth as my mother comes in carrying a tray of drinks and a white paper bag. I stand quickly, letting go of my father's hand. "I need…sorry, but I need to go." I rush out of the room and down to the bank of elevators. I jab the down button and pray that it comes quickly.

The sound of my mom's voice calling after me lets me know it wasn't quick enough.

Fuck.

"Nora," she says, "Here, at least take the coffee and donuts."

She thrusts them into my hand and the doors open. I stumble into the elevator and hit the lobby button with my mother staring at me in wonder.

As the door slips shut, I lean against the back wall and rest my head, close my eyes and allow a few tears to escape.

* * *

I squint and look at my computer screen, trying to figure what kind of bullshit I'm reading. Of all the inane, fucked up things I've seen as a cop, researching Neo-Nazi groups in the greater NOLA area has probably been one of the most.

I reach for my cup of tar and take a sip. Wincing as the hot, thick liquid burns my throat. At least it wakes me up a little.

It's been four days since I've been home, three since I've seen an actual bed. The three hours I've caught here and there in the crash room aren't really working for me, but Jerry and I are close to finding this group of sick slime bags.

After the death of Josh Lebron, we went back and re-interviewed Ryan and Chris, our first two victims. After getting them to admit that they were gay and they thought the attacks were because of their sexuality, it got a little easier.

All three were at a local gay dance club in the Quarter. All three had gotten separated from their friends and all three were assaulted. Josh Lebron was our first death. The other two were lucky. I sigh and Jerry looks up from his stack of paperwork.

"What gives, Delaney?" he asks.

I shake my head and lean back in my chair. "I just can't believe that some people actually believe this shit. And it really is utter shit."

He leans forward and smirks. "I ain't sayin' that what they did was right, but take a look around. Where are all are problems? The Blacks and Mexicans are all nuthin' but a bunch of low-life drug runnin', welfare livin' lowlifes. We see it day in and day out. And queers," he scoffs and shakes his head.

I'm about to retort, but my phone rings and I snatch it up, thankful that there was some type of interruption before I shoved my fist down my partner's throat. "Delaney," I snarl into the line.

"H…hello?" the small voice on the other end of the line says.

I take a moment and soften my voice, "Yeah."

"Hi, Detective, this is Courtney," the voice gains a little more confidence and I remember where she's from. "You said to call if I heard anything."

"Hi Courtney," I smile genuinely for the first time in two days and say, "I did, you wanna talk?"

"Well, I do, but I don't wanna meet. Can I just tell you over the phone?"

"Sure thing." I grab a pen and piece of paper.

"Well," she starts, "I was in English class and like, Nick and his buddy, Steven were talking right. Their always together, they think they're like God's gift to the human race or whatever, but that's like beside the point. You were talking about Chris Moore gettin' hurt and I liked Chris. He's a funny guy and he helps me out in Chemistry."

I pinch the phone between my shoulder and ear and lean back in my chair. This is going to take awhile.

"Anyhow," she continues, "Like I was just sitting in English talking to Leah about the Prom when I overheard Nick and Steven whispering about how they gave it to that fag." She stops and gathers her breath. "I mean, like, I know it's not much, but they both run with a few older boys and they were like all mean stuff to some black kids at our school. I know Nick shoved Chris around at lunch one day. Called him some stuff."

I jot down some of the things that she said and make note of the names. I flip open a folder and look over a list, spotting the two names of the kids she was talking about.

"So Detective, does that help, 'cause I really wanna help." The rattling on her end lets me know Courtney switches the phone to her other ear.

"You did, Courtney," I placate her and then ask, "Do you think that if you had to, you would testify?"

She stammers a second and then says, "Yeah I guess. Will I get to be on T.V.?"

I smile again and say, "I dunno, but we'll do what we can."

"Cool. Then yeah sure. Why not, right?"

"Alright, look I need to go and follow up on some things, but you just helped us out a lot. Thank you." I say my goodbyes and hang up the phone.

"Delaney!" my captain shouts from his office doorway. "Get your scrawny, Irish ass in here, double time."

Sighing, I shake my head and wonder why he couldn't have just stayed in the military instead of becoming a cop. I make my way over to his office and he motions me inside. I shut the door and he says, "What the hell are you doing here?"

My hands rest petulantly on my hips and I say, "My job, Sir."

"Delaney," his voice softens just a tad and he shakes his head. "Your father's funeral is tomorrow. You should be at home. You should be with your family. Give me one good reason why I don't kick your ass out of here and send you on leave for a few days?"

My jaw clenches and I bite the inside of my cheek. "Because working keeps my minds off of it. I got two aggravated assaults that are turning into hate crimes and a murder that was motivated by sexual orientation. I just got a lead and sending me home now would be a complete fucking waste of both of our times," I spit.

He sits back in his chair and looks me over. "Is Tombridge incapable of handling this?"

I snort and fold my arms across my chest. "With all due respect, Captain, but the only thing that partner of mine can handle is a fifth of whiskey. It doesn't help the fact that he's just been sitting across from me sympathizing with a bunch of Neo-Nazi, homophobic pieces of shit."

His eyebrows raise in mild shock.

I run my fingers through my hair and try for a mildly softer approach. Let's face it throwing your partner under the bus isn't a way to win friends and influence people. "Look, just let me make this collar and I'll go home."

"Fine," he barks. "You and I are gonna have a talk about that partner of yours when you get back from your days off."

I nod and ask, "We done?"

He nods and I don't bother to say another word. I head out of his office, stop by my desk and grab my thin leather coat. "Let's go Jer. I want to collar some boneheads."

* * *

The amber liquid distorts the bar underneath the glass as I stare down into the tumbler. The music is soft and melancholy tonight. I think the girl spinning the disks has dedicated tonight to Nina Simone. For some reason I'm thankful. The bar has a light crowd and I'm slumped over in my stool. I've got my dress uniform on. The clean white collared shirt pressed, my tie hangs a little loose, my jacket takes up residence on the barstool to my right, where my hat rests on top of it.

A woman comes up to my left and slides a pack of Marlboro's over. I look over and see Casey's friend, Victoria smiling at me.

"You look like you need it, Officer." She winks at me and then saunters away.

I shake my head and recognize the irony. Doesn't mean I don't give in. I pull a cigarette from the pack and tap the butt against the bar, packing it a little more. I slip the butt between my lips and then there's Casey, a lighter in hand, wearing that smirk.

I want to tell her to fuck off, but I don't.

"One ain't gonna kill you, baby." She flicks her thumb and lights my cigarette. Leaning forward, she leans into the gray-blue smoke that I blow from my lungs. "You should go home."

I shake my head and knock back the rest of my drink. Her hand comes up from behind the bar and she's refilling my tumbler before I say a word.

Her smile is soft and flirty. It promises me comfort and understanding. These are the things I need the night of my father's funeral.

After I left that hospital the last time, I thought about giving Casey up, I thought about denying the person inside of me and I thought about living the lie that I've sold my mother.

I can't deny who I am.

I can lie to my mama. I will continue to lie to her. I'll keep that promise to my father. I'm still not sure which one will land me a place in Hell quicker though, the lying or my choice of bedmates.

In the end, tonight, I can't seem to really give a shit.

I won't give up the things in this shit world that make me happy. Tonight it's the five-foot pixie that tends bar at one my favorite jazz clubs.

I polish off the fresh glass of bourbon and finish off the cigarette. Casey's there again, refilling my glass and running her hand over mine, squeezing it reassuringly.

I smile at her and ask, "You gonna be done soon?"

She nods. "Eddie's cashing in and then I'm golden."

I nod and she scurries off to fill another drink order.

I finish the fourth glass of bourbon and know I'm pushing the limits. Spinning on the stool, I look at the dance floor. Couples sway gently to the music. They have these normal lives. These things that I know I'll never get.

Some day's it's okay. I can accept that.

My jacket and hat appear to float in front of me as Casey stands before me in a mid-thigh skirt, ripped tank top and knee-high boots.

"Come on, sugga, let me take you home and put you to bed." She plops my hat on top of my head and throws my jacket over her shoulders.

I let her grab my hand and lead me out of the club. I may never have normal and my family may never know the truth, but for tonight, like everything else, it'll have to do. It's a choice I'll live with.


	5. Up to My Neck

My hand fumbles towards my bedside table as I groan. Who the hell is calling this early? A few seconds of groping and my hand finally manages to find the annoying, ringing, piece of crap that I should toss through the open window. I hit 'talk' instead and grunt, "Eh?"

A light, lilting laugh comes through on the other end and I rub my eyes. "Good morning, gorgeous," Jill purrs into her phone.

I groan and mumble, "What'd I do?"

She laughs again and says, "My dear, over-worked wife asked me to call and make sure that you were alive."

Realizing this is actually going to be a conversation, I sit up and rub my face, swiping some of the hair away from it. I squint over at the bedside clock and with a little mental math, figure that I've got enough time to talk and have breakfast before getting ready for the horrendous day ahead of me.

I yawn and stretch as my friend says, "I figured you'd be awake by now. Sorry, Nor."

"It's alright, I should get up anyhow." I stand and scratch my back, shuffling out towards the kitchen to start the coffee and pick my cereal for the morning.

"Ann got called to Wichita, Kansas like right as we were leaving the airport last night. So this morning when I talked to her, she asked me to call and make sure you got in okay."

I listen to her talk and shuffle into the kitchen, making a beeline for my coffee pot. There's a trick to my morning coffee. The coffee and filters are all located in the cabinet right above the coffee maker, I've gotten so good, I can make my coffee with my eyes closed. This morning I practically do.

Pulling out a chair, I plop myself down and continue to listen to Jill prattle on, "How was the flight? What time did you get in?"

"Flight was okay, remind me next time I come visit you two that you're springing for first class." I hear her in the kitchen and figure that she's going for her own breakfast. "Lemme guess, Life?"

She huffs, "Yes, and it's a good cereal."

"I still think Coco Puffs are better. I got in at like eleven last night," I finish answering her questions.

Not missing a beat, she says, "Chocolate isn't meant to be eaten for breakfast and are you ready for today?"

Internally I groan, as if I needed the reminder. After Tombridge, I lucked out and got partnered with Daniel Harney and moved to Special Crimes. Really, it was the best damn thing to happen. Dan and I have been together for the last two years. Except today he becomes my acting captain, while I get saddled with a new partner. Thinking out loud, I gripe, "I hate getting new partners."

"Ya know," Jill says around a mouthful of food, "Ann says the same thing." My coffee finishes and I go grab a cup. Sitting back down, I take a sip and sigh as she asks, "You know anything about the new partner?"

"Nope." I take another drink and my eyes crack open a little bit more. "The only thing I got before I left to come see you two was that it was some hotshot detective from the Narcotics/Vice division."

"And we all know that it's probably going to be some no-neck Neanderthal," she chuckles into the phone and I grunt in agreement.

Sighing, I say, "Well, I can hope not, but…anyway, Jill thanks for checking in, when you talk to Ann tell her I said hey."

"I will, sweetie. Go get ready for your day."

"Well some of us need to make an honest living," I rib her.

"I do make an honest living!" she protests. "I'll have you know that what I do is real work."

"Uh, huh. You stand in front of a camera and look pretty, Jill."

She laughs and says, "And I do a fan-fucking-tastic job of it."

"Yeah, yeah. Alright. I'm headed off. Talk to you later?" I ask.

"If Ann doesn't call you soon, I will. I wanna know all the juicy details from today."

We finish our goodbyes as I polish off my coffee. I make my way out of my kitchen and back to the bathroom to get ready for today.

I wonder if praying would help…?

* * *

I look out of the windshield again to the slate sky of the morning. It's cold, most likely going to rain and right now, a bit too foggy. I know the sun's up there somewhere, now if only it'd come out and play to burn this shit off.

Groaning, I reach for my jacket, open the door and step out of my car. I take a second and enjoy the feel of the lining of my coat encasing me in some type of warmth then make sure June Lee's all locked up. Satisfied, I spin on my heel and march towards the squad room to face my sentence.

Should have known taking that vacation before getting a new partner was a bad idea. If I had stayed on desk duty, I probably could have gotten more information.

No.

No, to desk duty, I'd rather be…well, it's a tossup, hospital or desk jockey? I weigh the alternatives as I sign in and take the steps up the three flights to my squad room. By the time I reach the top of the steps, I still haven't come to a decision and drop it.

Both options suck ass.

The room's quiet this early which is again a tossup. Either the streets of my fair city are flooded with crime and everyone's out or it's been slow, which we can hope for, and no one's in yet.

I'll let my optimistic side come out to play and say that it's been slow.

My gaze travels from my desk to the one across from it. It sits empty except for the computer, keyboard, mouse and…I laugh…someone took the ink blotter, pencil holder and trays from the desk. I sit down at my desk and survey the mass hysteria that developed since my departure two weeks ago.

Reports are stacked in the inbox. They threaten to spill off to the side. Message slips are stacked and tucked under my keyboard. I slip out of my jacket and twist round to put it on the back of my chair. I power up my machine and start going through my messages.

Four from the D.A.'s office, one from Bobby, one from Patrick, one from Terry, two from my mother and the rest are follow-ups on what is more than likely, prank calls. Leaning down, I toss the unimportant ones in the garbage, pretty much everything that's not from the D.A.'s office and start to lean back up, but stop as I notice my bottom drawer is cracked open.

Curious, I pull the drawer open and a small pack of Pampers stares back up at me, a post-it note attached to the face of the baby on the packaging reads:

_Nora,_

_The squad pitched in and thought maybe you could use some help with the new partner._

_Good Luck!_

I huff…no one actually signed the note. I rumble and shut the drawer, deciding to leave those where they are. Then I laugh. That was actually pretty funny. My computer is finally to the point where I can log in. Typing in the required information, I let it process and pluck the first file from the stack on my inbox. I start to comb through the piles, dividing them up.

As I work through my pile, people begin to trickle in and offer hellos. Distractedly, I offer my own greetings. A shadow falls over my desk and I blink, looking up from the report. C.S.U's newest detective looks down at me and smiles. "Hey, Georgia," I greet the only other female detective in the squad.

"Welcome back." She smiles and hooks a thumb over in the direction of Dan's office. "Word on the  _bebe_?" She winks at me and my eyes narrow. I should have known.

"Nope. Although, someone was kind enough to leave me a pack of diapers." I scowl at her and she starts to study the cracked linoleum.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

"So," she says, trying to change the topic, "How was vacation?"

I let it go, while I secretly plan my payback and shrug. "It was good."

"Where'd you go?" she asks taking a sip of her coffee.

"Visit an old Academy buddy turned Fed," I answer, not offering anymore.

Her eyebrow rises and she shakes her head smiling. "Alright. Well, I'll let you get back to sifting through those reports." Grinning, she turns away and heads back to her desk.

I laugh a little and go back to reading and signing off on paperwork. How come no one ever told me this would be part of my job?

"Delaney!"

My head snaps up and I see Dan leaning against the doorframe to his new office. His shirtsleeves are rolled up and his tie is crooked. How long as he been here?

"Yeah?" I holler back not moving from my desk.

He stands there expectantly. Good luck, pal. I don't jump when people bark. He knows this. It takes him a moment, but he relents and saunters over. "Usually Nora, when a superior yells your name, you're supposed to go see them," he teases. It's also his way of testing the waters given the new power dynamic.

I told him when he first put in for the job that it wouldn't bother me. I'll be honest and say that the man's earned the job. He wasn't a kiss ass, he kicked ass to get the new digs. I won't fault him for that, but if he thinks pulling the macho, 'I'm your captain now' bullshit is going to work, I may just have to hand him his ass.

I smirk back up at him as he leans against the side of my desk. Leaning back in my chair, I mirror his posture with my arms folded across my chest.

"Would you," he breaks first, "be so kind as to accompany me to my office? I've been speaking with your new partner and I'd like to introduce you."

He's been here the whole time? With my new partner?

Wow. I guess the bump in pay really did do a number on him. I grin and stand. "I don't see why not."

His face finally splits into a grin and we hug. He squeezes tight and whispers into my ear, "It's good to have you back, Nor. This place sucks without you."

"Good to be home, Dan." I let him go and our eyes skirt around the room hoping that the brief display of affection was unnoticed. Thankfully, the only one that seemed to notice was Chuck and he could give a rat's ass. "Come on," I say walking towards his office, "let's go."

He scurries behind me. I give him the courtesy of going in before me and truthfully, I'm a little anxious.

Bracing myself, I step into the room and watch the person rise from one of the two chairs in front of Dan's desk.

It's then that everything kinda slows down. I take in every detail, the half unpacked boxes around the small office, Dan grinning idiotically to my right, the small bit of moisture in my palms, the beat of my heart.

Then I look into my new partners eyes and everything else just sort of fades away. I look into the most gorgeous set of brown eyes I've yet to lay eyes on and I swallow. Hard.

It's a she.

She's a she and she's stunning.

Oh, fuck.

Somehow, I manage to not drool all over myself and my new partner as Dan says, "Detective Nora Delaney, I'd like to introduce you to our newest member, Detective Nikki Beaumont formally of Narcotics."

I stick my hand out instinctively and she takes the offered greeting, lightly shaking my hand and giving me a thousand watt smile.

I know my brain's supposed work, I know there are things I need to say and do, but my body won't cooperate with my brain and I'm stuck.

Until Dan's loud, exaggerated cough snaps me from the stupor.

"Hi," I manage thickly. "Uh, Nora. Nice to meet you."

"Nikki, Nora," she says releasing my hand and I'm not sure if I imagined the lingering touch or not because the blood rushing through my ears muffles sound and makes everything feel a little distant.

"Alright ladies," Dan puts a light hand on our shoulders and begins steering us from his office, "I'll leave you two the day to get acquainted. Nora, show Nikki some of the ropes in this squad." He ushers us out on to the squad room floor and to our desks. "Nikki, you let me know if this one doesn't treat you right." He casually flirts with her and I can take a good guess that's what he's been doing in here most of the morning.

"I'm sure Detective Delaney will treat me just fine," she husks playfully.

With that, Dan winks and heads back to his office.

"So, Nora, that," she says pointing to my desk covered in manila file folders, "is your desk?"

"Yep," I manage, "and I'm your…uh, this is yours," I stumble a little managing to salvage my slip up a little.

I just need to reel it in. She's my partner. She's my new partner and we all know that this must be kept professional. Besides which I don't even know if she's gay, but that is so not the right thing to think. It's not even in the ball park of right.

"Uh-huh," she says letting it slip.

I can do this. I walk around to my desk and start organizing the folders. "Give me a minute and I'll show you around."

I don't look up as she answers, "Take your time darlin', we have all day." The tone of voice she uses sends shivers down my spine and I curse myself for the reaction.

And since when did they start making detectives that looked like that?

It's going to be a very, very, very long day.

* * *

My head's cradled in my hand as I prop my head against the car door and wait for my new partner to make her way down to me and June Lee. It's day four of let's 'Let's Torture Nora' and so far I feel like I'm holding up pretty good.

Our first day was a bust; I took her around and made the introductions. Then we both settled in getting our desks in order. Day two found us neck deep in river mud 'cause a body washed up on the river bank, day three was a bit more of the same, except this time it wasn't raining cats and dogs and I managed to look like a complete ass.

Falling off the dock is not a way to impress the new partner. Dan made sure that I was aware of that little fact by the time we cut out of the squad room last night.

I gotcha Dan, damn smartass.

So here we are on day four and I'm feeling pretty good about it. She's not bad to work with so far. She's smart and quick on her feet. She also uses her looks to her advantage.

I look back out the passenger side window and see her making her way down the apartment complex steps. I allow myself a few seconds of unabashed admiring. Long legs, long brown hair, big brown eyes all encased in black cotton pants, a maroon button down shirt and a thigh length leather jacket.

I'm still trying to figure out how she's walking in those boots; the heel must be four inches long. As she gets closer, I see the actual heel being no bigger around than my pinky.

I shake my head. Some girls can just wear that sort of thing and not trip, fall and break their neck.

Sadly enough, I'm not one of them.

She smiles as she sees me and I give a little wave. I really need the weekend to be here. I could use a day off to regroup.

Leaning over, I pop the lock on the passenger side door and partially open it for her as she approaches.

I watch her slip inside as she greets me, "Good morning."

"Mornin'," I parrot back. Looking around, I wonder where she actually parks her car. There's no garage to park in and the streets are bare right in front of her building. "Where's your car?"

She looks at me funny and I feel the need to explain, "I never see you with car keys and there are no cars parked in the area that I feel would belong to a woman like you."

A waxed eyebrow rises and her arms fold across her chest. "A woman like me?"

Oh shit.

I pull a mental Homer and try to clarify, "I mean that, they, the cars aren't…" I point to a few of the vehicles on the street and say, "Like the brown Ford Taurus or the hunter green Honda Accord are not yours. The parking's good here at least right now, I just…"

I finally manage to look at her and she's wearing the sexiest smirk this side of the Mason-Dixon.

"I get it, honey," she says, letting me off the hook. "My car got totaled a few weeks back. I'm waiting on my insurance company to cut me a check and go shopping."

I blanche a little. "You weren't hurt?"

"Naw, but my wheels looked like an accordion." She shrugs and motions for me to get a move on. "What time is our meeting with the A.D.A.?"

Glancing at my watch, I cuss, "Shit." If I bust a few speed limits, we may get there in time. "It's in fifteen minutes." I put the car in drive and head south. "What happened?"

She crosses her legs and answers, "I was squeezed into a spot in an alley trying to make a bust. The dealer got a little happy with the gas pedal on a garbage truck and…" she turns her hands up in a 'what are you gonna do' gesture.

"Where were you when all of this happened and how have you been getting to and from work?" I need to know and then I need to find the dealer and make sure he walks funny the rest of his life.

"I've been walking and taking a cab to answer the last question first and I was in the driver's seat." She smiles sweetly at me and I manage to focus my eyes back on the road and the yellow light I'm running. Waiting a beat, she finishes, "I jumped out of the car right before it got hit." Sighing wistfully, she laments, "I'm not too sure what to be more upset about, the car or the shoes?"

I look at her. She didn't just say shoes? Since when is a pair of shoes more important than a car? "Shoes?"

"Yeah, they were a special pair of heeled boots. Beautiful, soft Italian leather," she nearly purrs and I swallow. "They also happened to belong to…" As she falters, I glance in her direction and a flash of grief passes over her features. "They belonged to a friend. More sentimental than anything."

I think I can see that. Just not for shoes. Now, if it were my car, we'd have problems. I try to commiserate, "Well, if it were June Lee I'd understand."

"June Lee?" she asks.

I pat the dashboard lovingly and make the formal introductions, "Detective Nikki Beaumont, allow me to introduce you to my pride and joy, June Lee."

She gapes at me for a moment and then her face breaks into a slow grin. "I am then to presume you have a serious emotional attachment to this hunk of metal?"

My head snaps in her direction and I shush her, "Don't let her hear you call her that. She's much more than that."

"Uh-huh," my partner says unconvinced.

I sigh and explain further, "I was fifteen. Had worked like a dog all spring and summer. Saved every damn penny." I pull up in front of the courthouse and look down the street aways. Finding an open spot, I gun it and perform the world's quickest parallel parking job. "Anyway, I was saving up for a car. When my brothers, dad and me went looking, we found June Lee." I step out of the car and grab my jacket. By the time I have her all locked up, Nikki's ten feet ahead of me.

She turns around and walks backward as I scurry to catch up. "And that's the tale of the El Camino."

I smile and say, "Some of it. There's a harrowing tale of rescue, refurbishment, and resuscitation. You know all the good, juicy parts happen after I got her home."

She spins around gracefully, not missing a step as I fall in line with her. She glances my way and says, "At least now I know what type of gal you take home, detective."

I roll my eyes and hope I'm not as red as I feel.

Shit.

Shit.

Shit.

She just had to go and twist that around.

* * *

I bump my refrigerator closed with my hip and carry the makings of my dinner to the kitchen counter, while cradling my phone between my shoulder and ear. "So Wichita was?"

"Boring, boring and more boring," Ann gripes. "I mean I'm sure that it has it's happening spots, but they were nowhere near my hotel."

"Ah, question: Swiss cheese or provolone?" I ask as I spread a thin layer of mayo over the sliced open French roll.

"Meat?"

"Roast Beef."

At the same time we say, "Swiss." I plop down two slices of cheese and stack the meet on top. Now if only I had some fresh tomatoes. I sigh.

Ann asks, "No tomatoes?"

I roll my eyes and get annoyed that she knows me that well. "Nope. I had some, but this is the first evening I've spent at home since I got back. Let's just say they were growing little tomatoes."

"You'll live. So, how's the new partner?"

"Uhm, they're alright," I answer vaguely. "I mean we've only caught the one case, but they pulled their weight." I top the sandwich off with a little pepper and smash the second piece of roll down, securing the contents of my meal.

"They, we…You do know that I know how to play the pronoun game. What gives?" That's my Ann, no bullshit, she never allows me any.

"It's a she," I answer.

"Really?" I hear it in her voice, intrigue and sarcasm all in one go. "What's she like?"

"Yeah a she, shocked the hell out of me too." I take a bite of sandwich then sit down on the couch. This feels sooooo much better. A cold beer, a good sandwich, a fresh change of clothes. Do I know how to live or what?

"Nor?"

"Sorry," I squeak, "I was basking in the glow of a good sandwich and clean clothes."

She laughs. "Never underestimate the power of taking a shower in your own bathroom."

"Amen," I agree, wholeheartedly. "And she's alright like I said. We've only caught the one case, but she pulled her weight. The jury's still out as a whole, but she can be…frustrating." I swallow and hope Ann doesn't do what Ann does best.

She reads people like a psychic, but she's not. It's why the Bureau took her. She's an excellent profiler.

"Hmmm, is she hideous? Does she have a hump and look like Quasimodo? Buck teeth, uber-butch with a mullet and flannel? Come on Nora give up the goods."

I remain silent as I hear Jill in the background, "Ann, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Nora's new partner is a she and I'm trying to find out what kind of she, she is," Ann answers her lover.

Do I even need to be here for this conversation? I take another bite of my sandwich and listen to the banter in the back.

"Oh really," Jill says, "Nora! I need details!"

"Oh God," I groan. "See what you've started Ann."

Some rustling on the other end of the line and a click. Damnit, they have me on speaker.

"You do know putting me on speaker phone just annoys the hell out of me?" I say.

"And I want details. Ann never gives me the good stuff," Jill quasi-pouts on the other end of the line. "So baby, you were asking about buck teeth and bad hair. Nora, please tell me there's no buck teeth and bad hair?"

Ann laughs as I try and figure out how to describe Nikki without getting myself into a whole other type of mess than finding my new partner attractive. I'll go with vague, "She's a few inches taller than me. Brown hair, average weight, average build. No buck teeth, no mullet and I think she may melt if flannel anything ever touched her."

"Ohh, she likes clothes?" Jill asks.

"I think, but from everything I've heard, I think she likes shoes more." I smile at the thought of her in those heels she had on today. They weren't tall, actually they were just the right height, but I think they made her ass look better. "And I like clothes," I amend mildly miffed.

"Nora, you like t-shirts and jeans. That does not make you like clothes." I should have known not to open my mouth when talking to Jill about clothes. Why did I even go there? She sighs and ribs both me and her wife, "How you two dated for as long as you did is completely beyond me."

"What?" Ann and I both say together.

I can see Jill's eye roll. "You two, I mean really, are way too much alike. It's cute, but you would have never lasted."

"And just how," Ann says, offended enough for the both of us, "can you say that?"

"Well, when you two are together, it's like I've got two Ann's except one of them has blonde hair and gray eyes and I can't ravish her in the bedroom like I can the other. Even Lee says so."

I sigh, she's right. I hate it when she's right. "Ann, give up. She's right. We both are t-shirt and jeans girls."

She adds her own sigh and she says, "But we were good in the bedroom department, if I remember right, there was plenty of sizzle and spark and fireworks too."

Jill and I both laugh. "There was," I agree.

"Awe, sweetie, I wasn't talking about your skills as a lover," Jill coos over her wife.

I think I may be sick, they're so cute together.

"Can we can the bedroom talk?" I ask. We really need a different topic of conversation.

"How does she take her coffee?" Ann asks out of the blue.

"Two crèmes and a pack of sugar," I answer, wondering what the hell kinda question that was for her to ask.

"Long lashes and big, brown eyes, Nor?" Ann follows up.

Oh, Christ. Here we go. Maybe I should be careful what I ask for.

"She does have brown eyes," I keep it simple, but Jill squees, literally squees, on the other end of the phone.

Contemplatively, Ann says, "I'll require a bit more data, but Nor, you're up shit creek dear."

I take a drink of my beer before I protest, "What are you talking about?"

"Ann," Jill warns.

"Nothin' Nor. Look, you enjoy your sandwich and it's your turn to call us next weekend," Ann lets it go.

"Actually, it's your turn to call Ann. I'll be in Denmark," Jill follows up.

"Alright," I agree. "I'll call you next weekend."

We share are great heaping pile of love for each other and right before I hit 'end' Ann says, "The piper's callin' Nora."

I blink as the line goes dead. Eh?

I think being in Kansas did something to her.

* * *

It's cold, rainy and there's no moonlight which means that I can barely see twenty feet in front of us. The few street lamps that are lit provide only a small pool of light directly under the bulb. Pulling my jacket tighter around me, I slouch further in my seat and wait on our current piece of scum to come out of his apartment.

This is also the main constancy in my career, the one tried and true rule: stakeouts suck!

I sneak a peek at Nikki in the passenger's seat and see that she's having as much fun as I am. Well, I could try for conversation. At least we'd have more to do than stare at a door thirty feet away. "So," I start, knowing full well that I just suck at small talk. "How was your one day off?"

She looks over at me and shrugs. "I did some laundry, went to lunch with my C.I." She turns a bit on the bench seat and directs more of her attention to me.

"You have lunch with your C.I.'s?" It's not a common thing. The few criminal informants I've used, well, the only thing I'd do for them is buy them some hand sanitizer and deodorant.

She smiles and says, "He's a special guy. Maybe if you're good I'll introduce you." She props her head on her right hand and looks past me, not really at anything as her eyes become unfocused. "He's the one that gave me the tip about our latest suspect."

"Ah," I say, not sure what else to say. It's Sunday and I would be at home doing laundry myself, trying to avoid phone calls from my mother if I wasn't here.

"What about you, detective, how was your Saturday?" Her attention is once again focused on me and I wonder how long she's been looking at me.

"Cleaned up, spent a really long time in the shower."

She smirks and her eyes travel over me. In the dark of the car, it appears innocent. Almost.

"No boyfriend to make it up to?" she asks.

I shake my head. "Sorry to spoil, but I've not met a man yet that can keep up. You?"

"Not even close. There are two men in my life, one of them I share fifty percent of my D.N.A. with. The other's family. What about your family? I mean we're partners. We should at least get to know one another on a more personal level, don't you think Nora?"

I nod. "I don't think that could hurt, seeing as how we're gonna be sitting here for a while."

"Well." Her attention is fully on me now. Her left leg's bent at the knee resting on the seat between us with her back against the passenger door. "Let's see, you are obviously a native of our beautiful city. Family?"

I shrug. "We're pretty boring." I smile and offer more, "Irish, Catholic and all of us are in some type of civil service. We blame my grandfather the first Delany in a line of many, my dad was a cop, I'm a cop, my youngest brother, Bobby's a cop. Patrick, the eldest, is in the Marines and my other brother, Terry, is with the National Guard stationed in Baton Rouge."

She nods and asks, "Mom? Dad?"

I sigh. "Mom's a career house wife and the occasional pain in my ass, but I love her. My dad passed away awhile back, it's been nearly three years."

"Oh, sugga, I'm sorry." She reaches out and rests her hand on my knee, squeezing it in an attempt to comfort me.

"It's alright. It wasn't fun, but I'm just glad he's not suffering anymore."

She nods sympathetically and I notice that her hand hasn't moved from my knee. It rests there causally, heating up the skin underneath my blue jeans.

I won't complain.

"What about you, Nikki. Family?"

"Only my daddy and me left. My momma passed when I was little so I remember a little, but not a lot."

"Ah, so you're a daddy's girl?" I smile, teasing her.

Her eyebrow lifts as she proudly says, "Through and through. I bet that you are too."

"Yeah," I laugh and shake my head, "I was." Trying to be delicate, I ask, "How'd your mom die?"

"A heart defect. It was quick and no one really caught it in time. Daddy was devastated."

"And you?" I wonder aloud.

"I was too young. It's different when you're a kid. Kids are resilient, ya know?" I look her over and she seems okay with it.

She's also right, kids are way better at handling things like that.

"So," she says, "Boyfriends?" Her eyes sparkle in the glow from the ambient light as she asks.

"None."

"But you and Dan?" she probes.

"Were  **partners**  only." I emphasize partners and follow up, "He asked, I declined. He's not…don't get me wrong, he is nice to look at, there really isn't a flaw on him, but he's not my type."

Her eyebrows go up mildly surprised. "So what exactly is your type?"

"Not Daniel Harney."

She scooches over on the bench seat so that our shoulders are touching and purrs, "I will have to file that away for later."

What the…

Her breath warms my neck and I manage to control the shiver. Trying to turn the tables, I say, "What about you? Boyfriends?"

"I haven't had one of those in a very, very long time." She smiles at me.

I don't think I've ever seen anyone more beautiful when they smile.

And I need to stop.

I cough and say, "There's always Dan."

She smirks and says, "He's really not this southern belle's type." Her hand twitches on my knee and she squeezes it again, moving just a fraction of an inch higher than where it's sat for the past few minutes.

Oh, really. "And what would be your type, Ms. Beaumont?"

Her eye's look out of the windshield for a brief moment and she hisses, "Shit." Looking back over at me, she smiles apologetically. "We'll talk more later. Our suspect just came out."

Shit. I wasn't even paying attention.

I scramble for the door and she follows me out of the driver's side. The rain hits every free surface, pasting my hair to my head in an instant.

We run across the street and stop on the sidewalk about five feet in front of the kid, Jackson Aguire, that we think is responsible for dumping the body of our victim, Sean Von Temp, early this week. His eyes go wide as he sees us, they dart from my face to Nikki's and then to the badge that's displayed on my hip.

The fucker's gonna run.

And he does. It takes a second longer, but he turns heel and darts away in the pouring rain.

Unthinking, I take off after him. The cold and rain forgotten as it all becomes about me tracking down my prey.

This kid's not too bright.

He's quick. I'm quicker as I gain ground on him. I look past him and see the street is ending. He's got one of two choices, stop and fight or try to jump the eight-foot tall brick wall ahead of us.

I go back to focus on him and can almost reach out and touch him, I'm that close on his heels.

Fuck it.

I take one giant leap and tackle him from behind. My arms close around him and I drag him to the ground kicking. I hit the ground and the wind is briefly driven from my lungs. The water soaks through my jeans and even through the nylon of the supposedly waterproof jacket I'm wearing. Rolling, we slam against the brick wall and I manage to pull a hand back, driving a fist into a kidney.

He cries out, but stops moving.

My free hand tangles in his shirt collar and I position us so that he's face down in a soppy puddle of grass, while I straddle his back to start locking the cuffs around his wrists. Some of my ambient light gets lost and I blink up into the rain to see Nikki gun drawn with the muzzle pointing at Jackson.

She's almost as soaked as I am and she looks pissed.

"You have the right to remain silent," I begin to Mirandize our suspect, hauling myself up and bring him with me. "Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney, if you can't afford one, one will be appointed to you by the state." I start to frog march him back to my car as Nikki holsters her gun and follows me. I hear her cursing under her breath. "Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you, you stupid piece of shit?" I cuff him in the back of his head and he stumbles against the car.

I look between him and June Lee and realize I have two options: Let him sit between Nikki and me on the way back to the station house or use Nikki's set of cuffs and make him ride in the bed of my car.

"Nikki, give me your cuffs," I demand.

I look over at her and she's trying to figure out why, but she doesn't ask as the pair she has materializes in front of me hanging from the tip of her right index finger.

"Thanks," I chirp, take the cuffs and begin to hoist our collar into the back of June.

"Hey," he starts to protest, "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Shut up and get in the back," I growl and let him clamber in the rest of the way. Once he's sitting down, I clap one cuff on his wrist and the other I snap around a utility bar that's hidden under the lip of the bed's side.

He looks between the both of us shocked at where he's going to be riding. "You can't do this!" he shouts.

I ignore him and get into the car. Nikki jogs around to the passenger side a small smirk playing at the corners of her mouth. As she closes the door, I start up and begin to pull away from the curb, but she stops me with a hand on the steering wheel.

Before I know it, she's next to me taking my chin in her hand. "You're bleeding," she says as she wipes away some of my hair. Her hand comes down in front of my eyes wet with blood.

I reach up and feel my forehead, wincing as I start to feel the gash in my forehead. Shit.

I shake her off. "Let's get him back to the station and worry about me later."

She nods, but stays next to me, using a couple of tissues she pulled from her purse to press against my forehead. I look at her like she's crazy and she says, "Just drive."

The look she shoots me tells me that I better not argue.

I reach over and crank the heat. We're both soaked. Her body presses against mine and I can't tell if I'm shivering 'cause of her closeness or the cold.

Maybe it's her that's shivering.

I relent and let her do what she wants as I press the gas pedal and head towards the station.

If this is how all our stakeouts are going to end, with her next to me, I might actually learn to like them.

* * *

"Nikki," I protest, "This isn't really necessary." She hasn't let go of my hand since we got out of the car. I get led up the steps to her apartment as she ignores my protests. I sigh and give up. After we processed Aguire, she demanded we go get my head checked out at the hospital.

Four stitches and explicit instructions from the doc and all of a sudden she's Florence Frickin' Nightingale. The doctor said concussion and I wasn't to be left alone. Nikki volunteers and not only do I agree for some insane reason that I've yet to figure out, but I also let her drive my car!

Bobby's driven it once. And that was because it was for Ann. That's it. He hasn't gotten to touch it since. And now, not only am I actually letting her take care of me, I let her drive my car, my baby, my June Lee.

After only knowing her six days!

That's it.

I know what my problem is. I just need to get out and get laid. It's been a while, between work and taking that vacation, I should call Casey, see what she's up to. I mean it's been years and we've kept it casual which in and of its self is nice and rare.

She's had relationships that she's floated in and out of and I've well, I've had work. She's always been there in a pinch though. And given this bout of insanity, I'm sure she'd be available.

And what does that say? A causal relationship that's lasted for, my mouth pinches as I think and I receive a funny look as Nikki looks back at me. She is pretty. Just look at that mouth. It's very…I draw in a breath and shake it off. What was I…oh that's right, Casey, it's been like four years or so and it's like perfect.

I get to have sex with the gender that I'm attracted to while not having to deal with the crap and hell a relationship would wreak on my personal and professional life.

As we reach the front door, I'm starting to wonder if maybe I'm not just a bit stoned from the pain meds they gave me. Nothing strong, but I.V. Percocet for someone who only takes Motrin is a bit much.

Darting through the open doorway, we manage to get inside just as a bolt of lightning illuminates the sky and a crack of thunder echoes around the complex. I stand there while she bustles about. She strips me of my coat and hangs it up in a closet by the entryway. My medication bag and the bag that's holding my soaked clothes are set behind the couch.

I look around and take in the home of Nikki Beaumont. It's…simple. Not like Spartan simple or me simple, 'cause me simple's just well, I think my mother thinks that I could live in a hut. I mean my place isn't bare, it's just the basics. I'm not home much, why bother sprucing it up when I barely get there to sleep and shower.

But Nikki's place is, it's got that home like feeling. Everything's done in these rich, vibrant colors that draw you in. The tan leather sectional sofa takes up a lot of space in the living room. There's a fireplace off to the side with a door to a balcony on the left of it. The main wall is hidden by a large entertainment center with movies and books. And, hey look at that, she likes to read.

See, I knew she was smart.

The kitchen is open and off to my left and straight ahead is the hallway that Nikki disappeared down. I would muster up the feeling to be offended if watching her walk away wasn't such a treat.

I squint my eyes; even in the low lighting it's still bright. There are a few pictures on the wall, some of her and friends and/or family. I shuffle further into her apartment and move towards the entertainment center. I look at the framed photographs. There are only four stacked on two shelves. The top right has a photo of a little girl, who can only be Nikki with a man and woman. I'm pretty sure that's a family photo. My eyes dart down and I see her standing sandwiched between a black woman and black man. All three are smiling. It looks like it was taken at some party. I look right of that picture and see the same man sitting with Nikki in a booth at a restaurant.

They look happy together. So that's the type of guy she likes? I mean, well, he looks…he looks like some of the people I've busted, but…

I shake my head, that's not fair. Looks don't mean everything and I've seen plenty of wolves in sheep's clothing.

I glance up to the last picture, the one next to the family photo. This picture has the girl from the one below it and Nikki. They're looking at each other and I squint harder as my mouth drops open a little.

That isn't the way you look at a friend. It's a candid shot of two people very much in love.

Well…

"Nora?" Nikki's voice pulls me from my revelation and I look at her with glassy, dazed eyes. I blink and she says, "I've made up my bed for you. Come on. Fresh sheets and all."

I don't move and instead point to the photos. She comes over and takes my hand giving it a squeeze. She looks between me and the photo of her and that woman. She sighs and runs her free hand through her hair. "I think, darlin' we're gonna hafta talk in the morning, but tonight, we need to get you some rest."

I mutter, "The doctor said no sleep for six hours."

"I know, we've got five to kill." She smiles and tugs me towards the bedroom.

I swallow and ask, "Just how exactly are you going to keep me awake?" And holy crap I'm going to be in the same bed with her.

I'll be lucky to survive the night.

She smiles back at me as she pushes her bedroom door open. "You are going to read to me," she says it so innocently that it makes me break out into a grin.

"Do you like being read to?" I ask.

She shrugs. "Depends on who's doin' the reading." She has some pajamas laid out on the bed for me and says, "Go ahead and change. I'll step out and use the powder room."

I nod dumbly and watch her close the door to her bathroom. I fumble for a minute or two and finally manage to get undressed into the soft cotton pajamas. I sniff the sleeve and my stomach tightens.

They smell like her.

Collapsing onto the bed, I cradle my head in my hands and try to get the fog to clear. I know that I'm…more uninhibited right now. It's exactly how I don't need to be, especially around her, but here I am and here she is and…

I'm screwed.

I look up as she comes out of the bathroom wearing a similar set of pajamas and I smile. She returns my smile, plucking a book from the dresser next to her. She walks over and stops in front of me, setting the book on the bedside table.

I'm eye level with the underside of her breasts and I feel my cheeks heat up. Her finger hooks under my chin and she tilts my face up to look at her. Her free hand tucks the hair that's escaped from my ponytail behind my ear and she's still smiling.

I grin stupidly at her and say, "Ya know, you're awful pretty. Like when I first saw you, I could like barely speak, pretty."

She laughs and I turn red.

I can't believe that I just said that. I may never be able to meet her eyes again.

She surprises me too and says, "That made two of us, sugga, but this isn't something we should talk about now." A hand ghosts down the side of my face and she sighs, "We're gonna hafta talk. Not tonight. Tonight, you get to read to me," she looks at the spine of the book, "How does, Fall On Your Knees, sound."

My face scrunches and I say, "Painful."

She giggles. Actually giggles and backs away from me. "Well, you're just gonna have to suck it up. I've been told it's a helluva book."

I sigh and shrug. "Fine, but I get the left side of the bed." Scrambling around to the other side of the mattress, I make myself comfortable and prop a few pillows against the headboard.

Nikki crawls in next to me and places the book on my lap. She situates herself in a similar fashion and I crack the spine on our reading material. I look over the first few pages and begin. Nikki scoots over to me; laying her head on my shoulder. I smile as the first chapter gives way to the second.

Maybe this whole stoned, concussion thing will work in my favor.

* * *

Consciousness laps at the edges of my sleeping mind. It's the muffled sound of two people talking that pulls me from my slumber and there a few things that register before I even attempt to open my eyes. I tick them off in my head; one, I'm not at home, two, I've got a nasty headache and three, I'm pretty sure that if I open my eyes my head will explode.

Bravely I crack one eye open and am thankful that there are blinds covering the two large windows. Almost no light gets in that way and the only illumination comes from the cracked doorway where the voices are coming from. Opening the other I try to sit up and with a groan flop back on to the mattress.

Yeah, that worked.

Pushing away the pounding, I try again and stay up this time. Mopping my face with my hands my fingers grazes the stitches and it all comes back to me or at least some of it. I remember running that kid down, the car ride to the station, the booking and the hospital. I'm lost after the hospital.

Where the hell am I?

I look around and know this isn't Casey's place. I look over at the dresser and a picture of Nikki and a group of cops looks back at me.

I'm at Nikki's.

Well, that explains fuck-all of nothing.

I growl and stand, preparing to make it out into other parts of the apartment. I move gingerly as taking large steps seems to make my head hurt worse. I near the end of the hall and the voices carry clearly.

"Darius, this is serious," Nikki whines.

" _Kouzin'_ ," the man I'm to assume is Darius answers, "you got problems. My advice, you want it or not?"

I hear her groan and whine some more, "Fine."

"Keep it in your pants, Nik. She's your partner. You can't touch that. You know it. She should know it and I know them people you work for know it," he answers.

Another groan of frustration and I decide to make my presence known. "Nikki?" I call out softly.

I step into the living area and Nikki is getting up from the couch while a skinny black man, the one from the photo…

Oh, shit!

It all comes back to me and I blanch.

I need to get out of here. I need to leave and never look Nikki Beaumont in the face again.

Instead, she comes up to me and smiles. The urge to flee flies away and I'm left standing there tongue tied.

"Morning, partner." She steps to the side and waves a hand between Darius and me. "This is Darius Jamison. Darius meet my new work partner, Nora Delaney."

He smiles and waves. I nod back and say, "I'd be more presentable but…"

He waves me off. "I was given the story. Look, Nik," he turns to her, saying, "you needta think about this. It's not what you need. You here?"

I look between the two of them a little lost. Instead of clarifying, he looks back to me and says, "Nice meeting you, but I'm needed elsewhere this morning."

Neither say anything else as he grabs his coat off the back of the couch and leaves.

Well that was certainly interesting.

It's way too early for this and I need coffee. A large vat of it that I can stick my head in and drown in.

Nikki starts toward the kitchen and I follow her. The coffee's gotta be around here somewhere. I follow my nose. She watches me as I help myself to a mug off the dish rack by the sink and pour myself a cup.

I don't even bother with cream and just drink it straight. Moaning, I know nothing has ever tasted this good. I close my eyes and take another drink.

"Nora," Nikki says.

I open my eyes and look at her. My uninjured left eyebrow rises and I wanna say it's too early for this conversation, but I look at the clock. It's after eleven in the morning.

"Did you call Dan?" I ask, somehow knowing that she's already taken care of it.

Her nod is my confirmation and she pulls out the chair next to her. "Come sit."

I do as requested after pouring another cup of coffee.

"How much do you remember of last night?" she asks.

"Well, it was a little foggy until I saw Darius' face. Then it sorta came back." I set my coffee cup down and lean back in my chair.

"That wasn't exactly how I had intended on telling you," she says looking me over. Running a hand through her hair, she mirrors my posture and continues, "I guess the easiest thing is to just come out with everything and figure it out together."

"I…," I stop unsure of what to say exactly.

Amusement dances over her beautiful face while she talks, "Let's be clear. I saw you and I'll admit I was stunned. Darlin', you are a sight. The fact that you're just too cute for words when you get flustered has only added to my, shall we call it, my attraction." She leans forward and takes the coffee cup from my grasp. Expecting her to take my hand, I laugh when she takes a sip.

"So you're…" I stammer.

"The word you're lookin' for is gay, Nora dear." She winks at me and for some reason I grin back. "As I was sayin', I'm attracted to you. You, after your confession last night and the way you've been lookin' at me are, I will bet my bank account, are attracted to me as well."

I flush and she hands me back my coffee cup.

"I am," I admit. "But, I know that…well, we're partners Nikki. I didn't…you were… are gay, I just…hell, I don't know. I just know that…"

"We have a good connection," she finishes.

I nod and sigh relieved that she gets it. The last six days have been good. Really good. I lied a little to Ann the other night. Nikki's easy to work with. We click and it's good.

"We can't," I say.

"I know," she says.

We both laugh breaking some of the tension. We look at each other, searching one another for confirmation that this mutual confession will be enough. I resolve myself to make that commitment and finally, I see the same in her.

"Partners?" I extend my hand across the table.

She nods as she takes it and gives it a firm shake. "Partners," Nikki confirms.

We smile at each other and then she leans over and smacks me on the arm.

"Ow!" I whine rubbing the spot she just hit. "What was that for?

Her arms fold across her chest and her mouth pinches together. After giving me the stink eye, she hisses, "You ever take off on me like that again and I'll shoot you."

I rub the back of my neck, embarrassed. She's right, I broke protocol last night and it ended with me at the hospital.

I try for apologetic and give a tight-lipped smile. "Sorry?"

"Sorry my ass, you scared me shitless." She glares a few seconds more and then, her face cracks into a room brightening smile. "I will say this though sugga, watchin' you run is a thing of beauty."

I swallow as I feel the temperature rise in the kitchen.

Yep, I can do this whole 'partner's' thing. It'll be a breeze.


	6. Whiskey Sour

I watch her fuss with the skirt she's wearing and resist the urge to laugh. In fact I go the opposite route and put on a very serious face. "Nora, go." I give her a slight push towards the bar and the man we've been watching for the past forty minutes.

She looks back at me and huffs, "Why can't you do this again?"

"Because," I say putting my hands on my hips, "I tried and failed. He has been looking at you all night."

Her face sours and I would almost swear to that being a pout. "What's not to like?" she asks, clearly annoyed as her hand makes a motion at me.

"Well," I say stepping closer to her and dropping my voice, "Maybe he doesn't like charming brunettes with ample bosoms, but prefers tough looking blondes with disarming smiles. Now," I purr, grabbing her shoulders and spinning her back around to face our intended mark, "git and don't come back without him on your arm!" I give her tush a little pat and shove, causing her to stumble forward.

With one last withering glance in my direction, I watch as my partner for the past five months turns and saunters up to Jeremiah McCafferty then start to flirt. I sit back in my chair and observe.  _She is_ something to look at. When I first saw her, I was dumbstruck. Her appearance alone wanted to make me fan myself. Since our first and final conversation regarding our mutual attraction, I've found that my barriers against her have all been run asunder. To say that I want her would be putting it mildly, but…

We're partners.

We work together practically every day and our lives depend on trusting each other. I promised her that morning that we would remain partners at work only.

It's been hell trying to keep to that promise.

Tonight, after watching this man flirt casually with a few women, sizing them up, I know I have big problems. If we don't bust him, then I'll be forced to go home to an empty bed and a very, very cold shower. I move my attention back to the man that we suspect has been drugging and raping women for the past month.

This irrational streak of jealousy burns and I cap it to focus on my job. We know he's guilty; all we need is a little sample of DNA and to witness him trying to slip the Rohypnol he uses into the drink he just ordered for my partner. Nora leans in and gives him a nice shot of her cleavage. His eyes stay focused on her chest and I want to smack him as he licks his lips.

I make a mental note to tighten the cuffs on him extra hard as I watch Nora fumble with her cell phone. It falls and playing the ditzy blonde role to a tee, she bends down to pick it up. He slips his hand into his coat pocket, pulls something free and drops it into her drink just as she stands back up faking an 'awe shucks'. I would never have guessed she'd be so good at playing the role, but I'm about ready to nominate her for an Oscar, right before I take her back to my house and cuff her to my bed.

Standing, I toss a twenty on the table, shake off the image of a bound Nora to bend to my will and make my way over to my blonde counterpart and our resident rapist. I slide up to Nora and slip my hand around her waist, winking at her. She nods slightly as I break away; stepping behind Jeremiah to make sure I'm between him and the main exit. I lean in and purr in his ear, while reaching behind me for my cuffs, "Sugga, I'm Detective Nikki Beaumont and you are under arrest."

He shoots up, causing me to stumble back. As he turns to me and tries to bolt, I slam a fist into his solar plexus. He doubles over and I grab his head, shoving it down to meet my bent knee. A crack and wet gush of hot blood splatters my bare leg.

I cringe a little, but inside I'm all smiles.

He drops to the floor crying out in pain. I look at Nora as she shoots me a look and straddles our suspect, slapping her cuffs around his wrists while reading him his rights. I go over to the bartender and ask for a plastic bag. Stunned, the handsome man reaches under the counter and pulls one out. Bagging the drink, I join my partner and we march our boy out into NOLA's muggy August night.

* * *

I strut from the interrogation room and wink at Henry, our A.D.A. Giving him a good solid pat on the shoulder, I say, "Try not to lose our case."

He gives me a scowl, but Nora's behind me. I don't even need to see her to know how she's looking at him. But I know I want to see it. Turning around I see her leaning against the closed door where Jeremiah and his lawyer should be putting together some type of legal defense to get him out of four counts of assault, rape, drug possession and a few other crimes to add to the stack. I'll call Henry later and have him tack on assault of a police officer, resisting arrest and I swear I should charge him for the cleaning bill on my boots. There's blood all over the one foot.

I wiggle my eyebrows at her, but she gives nothing away as she stares our prosecutor up and down. Her tongue causes her bottom lip to protrude as she sucks on her teeth daring him to screw our collar up. He plays with his tie and says, "I'd like to get through."

Not saying a word, she pushes off the door and shoulders past him. She moves past me, but her right hand lingers on my upper arm. I watch a few seconds more as Henry audibly gulps and sweat drips from his brow. He fumbles with the door a second before composing himself and stepping inside the room. Nora and I both know that he's gonna cut a deal with McCafferty, but at least we'll get a little bit of justice.

Instead of staying to listen, I follow my partner out of the viewing room and downstairs to our desks. The squad room is in full swing and I look around spotting Nora by the coffee maker. My desk looms in front of me and I take my seat opening up my right side drawer to make sure I've got some Rolaids for her indigestion later. Drinking the swill they pass for coffee around this place would give anyone indigestion.

Confirming they are where I had put them last, I shut the door a little too hard and a small stack of folders topples over, spilling on to my keyboard and knocking over my pen cup. I sigh as Nora comes up and leans against the left side of my desk. Her leaning shakes another stack close to her and I glare. "You knock those over and you'll be the one filling out all of my reports for the next two weeks."

She wiggles her hips a little and the pile tilts some more.

I'm half-tempted to threaten her more just to see her be as playful as she is, but I don't. Instead I place a hand on the leaning stack and give her my best glare. One hand immediately goes up and she backs away, scurrying to her side of our mess.

I laugh and shake my head, pleased at this one small victory.

I watch her a second more and then go back to straightening my piles. I start sorting them into stacks; a stack that goes back to records, one for reviews, one for everything that needs a signature and one that needs my write ups. I grab the first file off the stack that needs my signature when my phone starts vibrating across my desk. Snatching it up, I look at the display and see Darius' picture.

"Beaumont," I answer.

" _Kouzin'!_ ," he shouts into my ear.

Laughing, I lean back in my chair, relaxing for this talk. "Darius, it's entirely too early for you to be calling me in such a good mood."

"Nik, check your clock. It's after one in the afternoon," he informs me.

Gaping, I look at my computer and confirm the time. I sigh. Nora and I have been at it nearly two days straight. No wonder my eyes burn. Last night after we brought Jeremiah in, we stayed and pulled a forensics team member to start the DNA and tox on the drink. Then there was sweating him for a few hours, the lawyering up process…I think I may want to sleep sometime soon too.

"So," he says in that tone of voice that makes me suspicious, "we still on for tonight?"

Tonight?

What's tonight?

"Uh," I say trying to stall. What the hell was I supposed to do tonight? "I don't…"

"Nikki, you ain't doin' this again." He sighs and I hear a door open. The muffled sounds of traffic don't come close to masking the annoyance in his voice, "You are supposed to meet me and my friend Gwen at the club tonight. Ya know that girl I've been trying to introduce you to for the past coupla weeks."

Oh shit.

"Dar, I'm sorry, but Nora and I've been at it since early yesterday morning. Neither of us have been home since Thursday night," I plead.

"Nikki," he says, resigned. "Look, why don't I do this then? You meet us for a quick bite for lunch. I'll even bring the girl to you."

I start to shake my head. I was really counting on taking Nora out for a nice lunch. "I don't think…"

"Too late, I'll meet you across the street with Gwen in thirty minutes." I hear his car start up and sigh, slouching down in my chair.

Damnit.

I really want to get Nora something to eat; she's just as tired and haggard as I am. Well, now…

"Fine, but Nora's coming. She hasn't eaten either."

"Nikki, you can't bring the woman you're lusting after to a lunch date with a girl I'm trying to hook you…" I don't give him the chance to finish the sentence as I snap my phone closed.

Nora's looking at me funny, so I say, "Darius wants us to meet up with him for lunch at the café. He's bringing a friend. You in?"

She shrugs and stretches, leaning back in her chair. Her shirt rides up and exposes a few inches of skin between the waistband of her skirt and hem of her shirt. I lick my bottom lip and have this urge to lick her belly button.

I drop my phone on my desk and cover my eyes with my hand, shaking my head. I need to focus. A small voice in the back of mind tells me that I was. The other part, the more rational, sane part says that the texture of Nora's skin wasn't what I should be focusing on. That's a ship I can't cruise on. It's pointless to think of it. I drop my hand and look over at my partner.

Then, as I watch her right herself and smile at me. I think there can't be any harm in thinking about it or taking a fantasy cruise in the privacy of my own home. I do an internal groan curse the devil that's gotten into me today. I've been starting to think that I'm in way over my head. I smile back at her and try to think clean pure thoughts until we're supposed to meet Darius and this woman, Gwen.

"So," Nora says, "who's the friend?"

I bite my lower lip deciding on how to answer. I could lie and she'd get pissed or I could tell her the truth and see the reaction that I get. "It's a she." I lean in to whisper over the two desks, "It was supposed to be my blind date for tonight, but I'm hell bent on sleeping tonight, so," I lean back up and continue, "Darius being Darius, insisted."

Her mouth makes this cute 'oh' shape and her cheeks tint pink.

She shakes her head and then ask, "So you're asking me to accompany on you on your set up?"

I offer her a charming smile and say, "What kinda partner would you be if you left me to the wolves?"

"Nikki," she says in this tone, I've come to not like all that much if only because it means she's gonna say something I don't like, "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not?" I counter before realizing what the implication was.

For that question, she leans back in her chair and folds her arms across her chest.

Shit.

I stand and go around to her desk, perching myself on the edge I pout, "I'll owe you. It'll be a favor you can call in day or night." I linger on the night and she flushes.

I adore seeing her turn red.

"Fine," she grumbles and I resist the urge to kiss her.

* * *

Bouncing down the steps of my apartment, I slip my sunglasses on and greet the stuffy summer morning. I do love the summer months. I wave at Nora in her car, but as I approach, I see she's on the phone, having quite the conversation.

I quietly take up my seat on the passenger side as I listen in.

"Well, no, I…"… "You know that's not fair, right?" … "Tell her to can it." … A sigh, a groan and she leans down, banging her head off the steering wheel.

I'd say it was her mama, but she wouldn't use that tone with her. Hmmm…now this does have me curious.

"See, I shouldn't have said anything." … "Fine, fine. I give. When are you arriving?" She motions to me for a pen and I pull one from the glove compartment. Scribbling down flight information on her hand, she repeats, "Flight 1642, seven p.m., United, on the twenty-first." … "Yeah, alright."… her face breaks into a smile and she says, "Love you guys too. You drive me up a wall, but…" She laughs and then closes her phone.

By the end of the call, I'm turned in my seat, looking her over. She offers me one of her nice big smiles, which I've come to accept as at the 'I'm calling in my favor from you' look. We won't talk about the fact that she's already called in the favors I owe her.

"Good morning," she chirps.

"Mornin', sugga." I smile back at her and wait. She puts June Lee in gear and takes off.

"So," she says, "Uh, that was a good friend of mine. Her and her partner are coming to town Friday."

"I wasn't aware you had any friends," I tease.

She takes her hand off the wheel and swats me in the arm. "I have a few, okay well; I have Ann and then the people I work with." She glowers at me for a moment and then continues, "Anyhow, since we decided to take the next week off together, thank you for not sticking me with desk work by the way, they want to come visit."

"Alright." I'm not really sure how this applies to me. I am sure my lovely Delaney will make it clear soon.

"Look, you can say no, but I'll catch hell for it. Would you be willing to come with me to pick them up?"

I look her over and know there's more to it.

"And," she adds, "Go out with us Friday night?"

Well now, that's certainly a surprise.

"Who are your friends?" I ask genuinely curious.

"Ann Flemming. We went through the academy together and her partner, Jill Ness." We slide into our usual parking space and she cuts the engine.

The name Ann sounds familiar, maybe from her mentioning her at some point during our conversations. I do know the name Jill Ness. I laugh a little surprised that Nora would know Jill. When I think of Nora and what type of friends she may have, a model from the top agency in the world isn't one of them.

My partner always does surprise though.

I look at her and she's looking at me, eyebrow raised, expecting a decision. This is just going to be too much fun to not mess with her a little.

"You know Jill Ness, the model?" I turn her way and rest against the door.

She rolls her eyes at me and sighs. "Yes. Her and my friend, Ann, went to school together. They fell in love in high school. Been together nearly since then."

I laugh a little at the vague story. I know Jill Ness' story, they did a profile and interview with her in Vogue and while she was vague on what her partner does, she was not shy on telling the reporter their tale of love.

…Wait a minute…she mentioned a woman that her partner was seeing at time time of reconciliation…no…Nora wouldn't, would she?

A tingle on the back of my neck tells me I'm barking up the right tree. It's the same tingle I get when we get a break in a case or an idea hits me and points me in the right direction.

My eyes narrow in my partner's direction and I ask, "You and Ann used to be an item?"

"Yes," she answers resigned.

"Do you know Vogue did an expose on Jill Ness?"

"Yes," she answers blandly.

"So then…"

"Yes, Ann and I were seeing each other. Yes, we broke up and they got back together." I'm pushing her buttons. I know it. She knows it and she says, "So are you in or are you out?"

I sigh dramatically and say, "If I must, I must. I wouldn't want to be accused of not having my partner's back."

Her shoulders drop, relieved. "Thank you."

I reach for her hand and give it a squeeze. "You know, Nora, I just love giving you a hard time."

She laces our fingers together and nods. "I'm going to have to sign out a sedan for Friday." She laughs.

I look around June Lee and it dawns on me. Her car won't hold all of us. Coming up with an alternate solution, I say, "Don't worry about it. I'll pick you up on Friday morning."

She looks at me funny and I explain, "There's cars I can borrow if I need to. I'll have you drop me off at my daddy's Thursday night and borrow one of the one's in the garage."

Her eyebrows lift and she says, "Ah…nice. This is when Daddy Warbucks comes into the picture."

I swat her arm with my free hand and chastise, "You know it's nothing like that."

"I know." She lets go of my hand and I immediately miss the contact. "Come on, let's go sign in before we're late and Dan gets a bug up his ass."

I lock and close the door then meet her on the sidewalk. "Dan's already got a bug up his ass. I just hope it doesn't involve us."

She laughs and gives me a playful shove in the direction of the station house. I had not been looking forward to my time off. I did it because she would do the same for me if asked. Now, given the expectancy of visitors, I don't think I can wait for Friday to come around.

Lagging behind, I watch her walk up the steps and admire the view.

I just know I've got a special place reserved in hell. The kicker is that I can't seem to care, not if caring means giving up Nora.

* * *

It's Friday and once again, I find myself looking at Nora out of the corner of my eye, except now I get to do so in an airport waiting for her friends. It's something that I've been doing with increasing frequency. Something seems off. Hell, it's felt off since I've joined S.C.U. At least with that I know it's because of her. I just can't seem to put my finger on what's been going on between  _us_ the past two weeks. There's a charge between us that won't die down despite our trying to make light of said tension.

Also, for the first time in years, I don't feel haunted. Erica's birthday is coming up and usually I'm a bear the entire month of September, but that's changed too. In just as many months as I've been partnered with Nora, I find that Erica's memory holds more nostalgia and happiness then the sense of loss that is usually associated.

The only thing that has changed in my life has been the addition of Nora Delaney. I wonder what Erica would say to that?

I need to figure this out before it drives me up a wall. I glance at her and she's looking at me with her soft, gray eyes, concern etching her features. I want to reach out and smooth that concern away, but I can't. Instead, I give her a smile and let her go back to waiting on her friends.

The terminal isn't too crowded today, which is nice. More entertainment would be good, but I can't say I'm disinterested in meeting these two women. I mean, the very little bit of information I've gotten out of Nora tells me that she cares for these two deeply. It will be good to meet someone other than her ex-partner. She's met Darius and Daddy. While I know that she rarely speaks to her family and goes out of her way to avoid them most days, except for her little brother.

She's got a soft spot for him.

I look over at her and her right leg bounces furiously up and down. Oh dear. Firm, but gentle, I place a hand on her knee and still it. She looks at me and I wink at her. "Sugga, your drivin' me up a wall will not make them de-board any sooner."

I leave my hand on her knee, liking the feel of her underneath my hand. She leans into me and I ask, "So what are you guys gonna do for the week that they're here?"

"I don't know. We usually drink a lot, eat a lot and talk. What are you going to do for the week?" she asks as her hand covers mine.

"Shop, Nora dear, I was gonna shop." I beam at her and she rolls her eyes.

She rolls her eyes at me a little too much.

I look up and the doors to the gate open. Nora springs from her seat. I stand with her, placing a hand on the small of her back and rub.

We move to the end of the row of chairs directly in front of the gate and watch the crowd of passengers make their way off the plane. It's hard to miss Jill Ness. She's tall, slender and graceful. The woman holding her hand is on the shorter side of her partner, but striking in her own way.

Capping the small sprig of jealousy that blossoms, I can certainly see why Nora was attracted to Ann. I watch as Jill and Ann's face light up as they see Nora. The model hands her partner her bags without warning and breaks into a run, leaping at Nora.

I'm more shocked when Nora catches her and long, lean legs wrap around my partners waist. Nora holds her own as Jill braces Nora's face between her hands and plants a firm, closed mouth kiss on my partner. I start to step forward and break it up, but catch myself.

I can't stop any woman from kissing her. Even if the kiss is just a friendly, a very friendly, hello kiss.

"Jill," Ann hisses. "Would you let my Nora go so we can all have a proper introduction?" She smirks my way and I grin.

Jill's head pops up and she drops from Nora's waist effortlessly. Nora seems just as unfazed by her friends missing weight. "Ann," my partner teases, "I thought I told you to keep this woman of yours on a leash?"

"Nora you know better. There isn't a leash forged that can stop me." Jill takes her bag back and slides up to me extending her hand in greeting. "Hi, Jill Flemming."

I reach for her extended hand and notice the ring on her left finger that explains the name shift. "Hi, Nikki Beaumont, Nora's partner."

I watch Nora's face flush a little and my grin widens.

"Sorry," Nora says slipping between the two of us, "I forgot my manners after being attacked. Ann and Jill I'd like you both to meet Nikki Beaumont, my partner at the N.O.P.D."

Ann comes up and shakes my hand next. She has soft, blue eyes and straight brown hair that looks messy in that causally, styled way. We all have a chance to greet each other and head out of the terminal while being informed that the carry-ons they have is all the baggage they brought.

And here I was expecting them to be over packed for a week in the Big-Easy.

* * *

I drive and observe the catch up between the three. I also love seeing the difference in Nora. She's open, she's smiling and having a good time. I'm happy that she has people that she can share things in her life with. When we were partnered back in March and I got to know a little more about her, it worried me that outside of work she led a pretty solitary life.

We make it to Nora's place and I laugh as Jill heads straight for the back bedroom. I assume it to be the guest bedroom as this is the first time I've been to Nora's. I look around the apartment and realize that though it's a lot like her, it somehow lacks her warmth.

I had thought that she would have made her apartment a sanctuary against the horrors we see at work.

I wonder where that is?

I follow Ann back to the bedroom Jill is in and realize that it's the master.

I hear Nora coming from the bathroom. "Jill, you are taking the entire bed for yourself this week?"

Ann shakes her head and moves around the room like she's lived here forever. "Nora, you and I both know, I'll end up with an eighth of the mattress, Jill will get the rest and you'll be lucky to not end up on the floor."

I hear Nora sigh behind me as a hand presses into the small of my back. Electricity runs the length of my spine and I press into her hand. "So, you three share a bed?" I ask. I hope that sounded more casual than accusatory.

"Yeah," Ann says, efficiently putting away the clothes from the two carry-ons they brought with them. "Jill likes Nora's bed the best, so…what Jill wants, Jill gets."

"Hey now," the model pipes up from her reclined position on the item in question, "I'm not that spoiled." She looks at me and pouts, "I'm really not. You should see Ann when she doesn't get her way. I just like Nora's bed better 'cause she's more fun to cuddle with."

I choke on the laugh, trying to imagine Nora cuddling with that woman. I will not get upset.

"Alright, you two, I will make you sleep in separate rooms." Nora steps around me and goes to her bed side table. There's a small safe underneath, she enters in the code and the door pops open. "Anyone that wants to stash their service weapon in here, please hand them over." She removes her own sidearm and puts it on the top shelf of the safe. Her hand automatically extends behind her and Ann places her own gun in Nora's outstretched hand.

And here I was thinking that my partner was talking about me.

She places the gun on the lower shelf then turns to me coughing expecting me to hand her my gun. I fumble a second and then unclip it from my belt.

Jill comes up beside me and says, "What is it with you cop-types and the need to have your gun on you at all times?"

"Policy." All three of us say at the same time.

This makes all of us bust up.

All cops are really alike.

"Alright ladies. We've got tequila and dancing with our name on it," Ann announces taking her wife's hand. "Let's boogie."

I can't disagree so I follow the two love birds out of the apartment while Nora locks up. Tonight's going to be very interesting.

* * *

The night seems to pass on by as we all sip our drinks and I get to know more about Nora Delaney. I learn about Ann being her first and why they broke up from Ann's perspective. I get to hear about Lee, Jill and Ann's oldest friend from high school. He would have come, but had a hard time getting the week off from work as he teaches high school and the year just started.

As the witching hour strikes, we all silently agree to switch to beer, knowing the tequila has caused me to inch closer to Nora. I also know that I'm not nearly as strong willed as I should be.

The D.J. begins playing music we can dance to. I also learn that the bartender, Casey, was intimate with Nora. I won't admit to sizing the woman behind the counter up all night, but if I saw her in the street, her accidentally tripping may or may not happen.

"Come on," I hear Ann say. Thinking that she's talking to Jill, I expect the woman on my left to move, instead, Nora heaves herself out of the booth we've been occupying and takes Ann's hand. "If you excuse us ladies, Nora and I have some catching up to do." Ann leans down and leaves a kiss on Jill's neck right before spinning my partner out on to the dance floor.

We watch them for a minute as a silence settles over the table. I know that this jealous streak, this insecurity I feel, isn't like me. It sort of pisses me off and it's all Nora's fault. I think things between us could be different if she'd just…

No, that's not fair.

We both agreed. Agreed because it's the smart thing to do. We're both so much of our jobs that if we lost that what would we do? Who would we be?

Who would I be?

"You know," Jill's voice cuts into my angst ridden thoughts. "You should."

My head snaps over to her and I manage an ineffectual, "Uh?"

She slides closer to me and sips her beer. "I'm going to give you some unsolicited advice, Nikki Beaumont. I like you. I'm pretty sure my wife likes you and Nora, well…that's a whole different hill of beans that you need to discover for yourself."

Casually, I lean back in the booth intrigued. I'm open to the advice. I need it. They have a much better grasp of Nora's quirks than I do.

"Let me guess, 'we can't sleep together, we're partners. We work together and we can't take that risk.'?" she mocks in a sweet tone.

She's right though. That is the nuts and bolts of the whole thing. I watch as she points to the two women that are with us tonight on the dance floor.

"I spent nearly three years apart from my wife, when she came down here after I rejected her. I was so scared when she came clean about her feelings toward me. I was freaked right the fuck out. My fear nearly cost me her too. If not for the grace of the blonde woman she's dancing with, I more than likely would have." She takes another sip of her beer and sighs. I notice that she's talking slow, the alcohol finally taking a bit of effect. "Look, I know you and I don't know each other well. We just met, but don't let the threat of what could happen stop what is."

I turn to her and let the words sink in.

She finishes up the rest of her beer and sets the glass down on the table. "You two have been drooling over each other since I've been here. The only thing either of you haven't done is start making wild monkey love on the table and while some might enjoy the show, Nora would blow a gasket." She quirks a smile and says, "She's so not the exhibitionist type."

We both laugh at the truth of her statement. The tension at the table eases and she shoves me out of the booth. "Now, up, come on. I need my Delaney to get some action and you my dear are just her type."

Her words stop me cold. I don't want to be just 'some action' with Nora. Apparently, Jill knows what I'm thinking as she follows up with, "Trust me when I tell you, it won't be a notch sort of action. That's really not Nora's style. She's been with two women her entire life. My wife and the bartender back there, and their relationship was monogamous despite the casual appearance."

I allow my feet to start working again and we find the women on the dance floor moving slowly to the music. Ann's face lights up as Jill cuts in and spins her wife in the direction of the stage. Nora stands there a little uncomfortable as I take her hand and put it on my hip. I pull her to me and start a slow dance around the floor with her in my arms. I'm not sure if it's the effect of the alcohol or Jill's words. Maybe both.

Maybe I don't give a damn.

Not anymore.

We fit together wonderfully. I notice how her curves slip into mine. It worked that way with Erica too. Is it love that causes the fit or is it something more, I wonder? And love… a sardonic laugh sounds in my head and I want to kick myself, despite the truth to my slip up.

I blink and know I have to do something here. I've never not gone after what I want.

"Nikki?" Nora's voice husks my name. "I…" I stop her from finishing as my hand caresses her cheek and the pad of my thumb presses softly against her lips, enjoying the intimacy of the moment as everything else falls away.

I look at her and see the permission that both of us have been wanting. I think maybe Ann talked to her while Jill was talking to me. Those two are good. I make a note to thank them both then bring my right hand up to cup the back of Nora's neck. My fingers thread into her hair and I pull her mouth to mine. Our lips brush tentatively together, until I close the minute gap to finally connect us.

This cross between electricity and fire spreads out from the center of my gut as our tongues meet. We mold into each other and the ache I feel is like nothing I've ever experienced before. It's painful and amazing and all I want is more of it.

I want more of her.

My hands slip under the back of her shirt and it shakes as it runs up and down the length of her back. Her hands follow a similar course and I go weak at the knees as she lightly scrapes her short nails over my skin. I break from her mouth and trail kisses from the side of her mouth to her neck, behind her ear and then suck in an earlobe, pinching it between my teeth.

We need to get out of here. I need her underneath me or on top of me, preferably naked and wanton.

She's the first to step back and lead me from the dance floor. Jill and Ann are standing by the table settling the tab. They both turn as we approach. Jill has my purse in her hand and she grins, handing it off to me.

"We'll grab a cab back to Nora's," Ann says decisively. "Nikki, we'll see you and my ex at breakfast tomorrow at Nora's."

We nod dumbly and make a bee-line for the door. Over the music I hear, Jill call out, "Take of her or you answer to me!"

I give a short laugh and we hit the warm summer night. I haven't let go of her hand as we make it to my car.

* * *

We collapse on to the bed, sweaty, spent and wondering where in the hell my central air went to. It's fucking hot in here. It's also really early. Nora cuddles up to my side and she mumbles, "We have to be up in a half hour."

I look at her, her face pressed against my arm, relaxed and truly open to me for the first time since I've known her. She's everything my world lacks. She's the missing piece to my puzzle. I caress her cheek and a lazy smile makes its way onto her beautiful face. Unable to resist, I lean in and kiss her. Our tongues slide together as our bodies respond to the demands of the energy between us. I think we may have left the club at around one in the morning. It's well past eight and we've been at this all night.

As she moves me to my back, her leg swings over me and she straddles my hips, pressing herself into me. I arch up into her body and the way she moans is instantly seared into my memory. Her moans of pleasure will forever be etched into me.

She's branded me. I'm not sure if she knows that or not. I also think that this is part of her competitive nature. She may just be trying to make me pass out. Her tongue hits a particularly sensitive spot on my ribcage and she smirks against me. If she keeps that up, she may just do me in.

I groan and wiggle to get her attention. "Didn't you just say we have to be up in a half hour?"

She looks up at me and bats her lashes innocently.

Shit.

I fold like cardboard poker table and pull her up to me. I need her. I grasp her hand, threading our fingers together to slowly move them between my thighs. I plead slightly into her mouth, "I need you in me."

Quickly she complies and my world tilts on its axis, righting itself. She presses deeper and I wrap my legs around her waist. I push up and cover her left breast with my lips. I nibble and suck until she's near whimpering.

Smirking, I release her and she pulls out of me for an instant to adjust herself over my thigh. She slips back inside and begins riding my leg. Her fingers play with me. Three are buried deep inside me and her thumb begins ghosting over my clit.

She's teasing me and I'm so close it hurts.

I buck my hips but she stops me from getting what I want.

Well, two can play that game, Nora Delaney.

Not caring where her hands end up, I buck my thigh, sending her toppling off me. I manage to quickly change our positions and already have my hand between her legs before she knows what happened.

I know she feels what happened as she pulses around my fingers.

With our positions switched, I'm able to time myself to her climax. I use the pad of my thumb to mirror what she was doing to me not more than a minute ago. She whimpers, she pleads and she cries for her release. Lucky for her I'm just as on edge. With a bit more pressure, I draw circles over her swollen nerve bundle and lean down nipping and sucking her neck.

"Go ahead, sugga," I purr in her ear. I find her mouth and fuse our lips together as my climax hits me. Just like the first one that rocked me tonight, this one is no different in intensity or emotion.

I swear this woman will be the death of me.

She bucks and shudders underneath me. Her slick insides, clamp around my fingers, contracting and squeezing them. I ride it out on top of her and shh her when we finish. Our breaths mingled and labored as I shift and fall half on the bed and half on her.

We lay there quietly for a few minutes catching our breaths once again. This time it's her drawing lazy circles over my skin and I swear I can see a small trail of fire where her fingers have grazed my skin.

"So," she drawls, finally showing her southern accent, "I know you said something about shopping on vacation, but…"

My lips turn up and I say, "Well, if you could think of a better use of my time, detective, I may be open to alternate suggestions."

"Hmmm," she hums, pulling me tighter against her, "Ann can drop off food to us once a day and we can stay in bed."

I hear her giggle then. The first time it's ever happened. I think it may be the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. "What?" I need to know.

"I was just thinking that really wasn't a bad idea and I know it must be love if I'm willing to spend not only a day, but an entire week in bed..." She stops when she realizes what she just said.

I don't offer her a chance to take it back as I kiss her again. This time hard and possessive. I pull back and tap the tip of her nose with my index finger. "That'd make two of us, darlin'."

Her face breaks into a wide smile and I'm about to begin teasing her again when her phone starts blaring from the bedside table.

I see her warring with answering it or not. Sighing, she picks it up, looks at the display and answers the call. "Yeah?"…"Hang on." She hits the speaker option on the phone and says, "Alright."

"You two are late!" Ann shouts.

Jill giggles in the background and I hear her say, "Quit screwing each other's brains out and come over for breakfast!"

Nora looks to me and I shrug. May as well, I know I've burned off enough calories to take the four of us out for some oysters for supper tonight.

"Alright," Nora huffs. "We'll be there as soon as we find our clothes."

A few cat calls and whistles later and she ends the call.

Well this wasn't exactly how I thought I would be spending the first day of my vacation, but damned if I'll complain.

Nora rolls off the bed and begins tossing my clothes at me. I lay still using my hand to prop my head up as I watch her. She's nothing that I was expecting. I thought I'd had my shot. I was wrong and expecting or not, she's turning out to be everything that I need.

Which is crazy, five months and it's only our first night together, but…

It's like the same sort of feeling when I knew I was going to join the police force.

She turns to me and gives me this half smile that I've never seen before. Her eyes soften and her hand reaches out to me. I grasp it and allow her to pull me up from my bed, my thoughts and my past.

Still naked, we press together. I lose myself in her, again. As she lays me back down on the bed, I just know her friends are gonna be upset that we're missing breakfast.

* * *

Waving goodbye one last time, Nora and I stand shoulder to shoulder watching her friends, well, I guess they're our friends now, retreat. Our vacation is up tomorrow and we both need to get back to reality. As nice as this break was Nora and I really need to talk.

She tugs on my hand I thread our fingers together allowing her to lead me from the airport. Getting to the car, I pull short and stop her at the bed of the car. She was supposed to drop me off at home after this. I don't feel like leaving her just yet. "Nor," I softly say, "You wanna come with me?"

A concerned look is sent my way as her grip tightens around my hand. "Nikki?"

I turn fully and look at her. A strand of hair has come loose from her ponytail and unthinking, I reach out and tuck it behind her ear. "I just, okay, I just don't want to leave you just yet."

"Nikki," she says gently warning me.

"I know. I get it, but look, there's someone I want to introduce you to. Would you?"

Don't make me beg, baby.

I see her about to say no, but she stops. Either I look needy or she's a softy because she nods.

I pull her to me, snaking my hand around her waist and kiss the tip of her nose. Pulling back her face scrunches and she rubs where I just kissed. "You know," I tease, "you aren't supposed to rub those away."

"It tickled," she says by way of an explanation.

"Uh-huh," I let her go and step back, holding out my right hand. "Keys."

Her mouth drops between me and the car, pointing between the two of us. "I don't…"

I shake my head and ask, "Do you trust me?" I look June Lee over and am glad all of us crammed into the cab of her. Being smooshed into Nora made the trip fun. That and trying to watch one tall woman sit on the lap of her smaller lover was good for entertainment.

I'm just glad we didn't get pulled over.

She falters for a second before fishing into her jeans pocket and handing me the keys to June Lee.

Grateful, I accept them. "Get in, darlin'."

I pull out of the parking space and head towards the highway. She keeps shooting me these looks and I ask, "Somthin' I can help you with,  _bèl fi_?"

Her arms are crossed and her eyes narrow as she says, "Depends."

I motion to her seat belt. For my troubles, she glares a little more, but buckles up anyhow. I wink tossing her a flirty smirk and she rolls her eyes. I sigh and ask, "On?"

Leaning back in the seat, she laces her fingers together and tucks them behind her head. "Where you're taking me."

I laugh a little and answer, "Patience is a virtue, Nora dear."

She smirks at me and shrugs. "It's never something I was very good at."

"Don't I know it." I ignore her indignation and let the conversation lapse into silence. The miles peel away and I occasionally look over. Sometimes she's staring out the window, looking up at the stars, and sometimes she's looking at me.

I'd give anything to know what she's thinking about. I could ask, but…I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared to actually know.

I glance at the dashboard as I pull off the highway and turn left on to a two-lane country road then right on to the dirt road that's my daddy's childhood home. It only took forty-five minutes. That's not so bad. I pull around the circular drive way and smile over at her as her eyebrows raise.

"Come on." I hop out of the car and wait for her to catch up. We round the back of the house and I see the staff's quarter lights are on. She lags behind me a few steps so I stop and grab her hand to lead her over the hill and into the dark family cemetery below.

"Nikki," she hisses, "Where the hell are you taking me?"

"Shh, you'll see." I answer reaching the bottom of the small hill. Thankfully, the moon provides a little bit of light, but for me it's not really necessary. The candles that are constantly lit by my mama's and Erica's headstones shine. My beacon for this evening. I stop us in front of my mother's headstone.

"Nora, I'd like you to meet my mom." I take my free hand and brush away a few stray leaves that have fallen on top of the gravestone. I then trace her name, Margaret Nicole Beaumont with my finger.

It seems that the gravity of what I'm doing has dawned on her as her grumblings about crazy partners has ceased.

Good.

I right myself and tug on her hand. "Come on, there's someone else you need to meet." I pull her the few feet over to Erica's plot and smile. It's clear even in the low lighting that Daddy's instructed the staff to care for her grave like they do mamas.

I swallow and breathe in the night air. I need to be able to get through this without breaking down. "Nora Delaney," I say, "I'd like you to meet Erica Jamison."

Her face quirks and she points to the headstone. "Darius' cousin," I answer her unasked question. "She passed away in Ninety-four. You two, I think would have gotten on real well."

"Nikki," she whispers, her hand tightening in mine.

"We met in college. She was pre-law; I was just taking some classes to get my daddy off my back. We fell in love. Shocked the hell outta me," I laugh. "We were together for nearly two years, before she died."

I look over and smile at her. I see in her eyes that she gets what I'm saying. Her only response is, "How?"

"Shot. She was taken coming home from a study group. I'm not sure what happened really. I've looked at the coroner's report, there were traces of opiates in her system, but cause of death was a gunshot wound to the head." I squeeze my eyes shut and block the images of the crime scene. "The report indicated sexual assault. From everything that I've been able to piece together, she was taken, shot up, then raped. When they were finished with her, they killed her."

I feel her arms wrap around my waist from behind me and she pulls me tight. She whispers, "I'm sorry."

"I, Nora, she was a great woman. Like I said you two would have gotten on real well." I lean against her, thankful for the comfort and warmth her embrace provides.

"Why?" she probes.

"Because," I say turning in her arms to look her in the eyes, "Her birthday is at the end of September. She was my first love. Since her death, there was never a day that went by that I haven't felt her absence."

"Was?"

"Was. I'm not sure why, but since we've been partnered, that part of me has begun to heal. I wanted to thank you for that." I struggle with pulling away from her touch, but know it's the best thing. "You've helped me. Just knowing you and having you in my life. You deserved to meet her."

She nods in understanding, but there's pain in her eyes. She doesn't release her grip around my waist. Instead, she tightens her hold and draws me deeper. For her wonderful stubborn streak, I brush my lips across her cheek and whisper in her ear, "Thank you."

Her head rests on mine and I feel her nod. "We need to talk you know," she whispers.

This time I do pull away and tug on her to follow me. She does, but doesn't let go of my hand. I lead her to the bench my daddy and I use when we come out here. "So," I say sitting down, letting her take up residence by me, "Where do you wanna start?"

She shrugs. "Us. Work. The mess we've made?" Her mouth quirks into that smile again and I'm glad I'm sitting down.

"We have made a mess of things haven't we," I confirm as she snuggles into my side and lays her head on my shoulder.

"Good mess though," she whispers.

"Yeah," I agree in an equally hushed tone.

The night is warm and I'm thankful that the weather is on our side. Jacketless, I can feel her skin on mine as it clouds my thought process.

"I…well, you know, I…Nikki, I'm not out…anywhere," she confesses.

I nod and take her hands in mine. "I figured."

"What about you?"

"My family and friends know. I don't really talk about it at work. If I'm asked, Nora, it's not something I deny, but I don't freely offer the information."

"You think we can do this?" she asks, insecurity laces her words and I can only mirror her thought.

One hand reaches up and pulls her head from my shoulder. I turn to look her in the eyes. "Nora, this past week has been a dream for me. I know we gotta wake up tomorrow morning and go back to work, but I don't want this to end."

"Me either, I just…damn her." She shakes her head and offers me nothing more than a self deprecating laugh.

"Damn who?" I ask, afraid I'm losing her.

She laughs and her eyes brighten in the heat of our serious conversation. "Ann. She told me this would happen."

"This would be what sugga?" I tilt her chin and look at her beautiful face.

I can see the blush in the low light and my heart clenches as she answers, "Fall in love and change my tune."

I draw her in for a kiss, deep, possessive and needy as our tongues slide together. Her arm pulls me closer and I clutch at her t-shirt. Her teeth graze my bottom lip and she pulls away leaving me panting and a little light headed. Unthinking, I rasp, "I'm glad she was. I love you too Nora."

She smiles at me, the one that she uses on me to get her way. "So we'll make it work. We have to."

I nod and swipe at the tear that escaped. "Whatever we have to do, baby, we will."

Her eyes twinkle and she says, "Just think of all the fun secret rendezvous we can have." She wiggles her eyebrows and breaks the tension, something I'll be eternally grateful for.

"And just why do you think I'm the sorta of woman that will participate in a rendezvous?" I ask, raising my eyebrow and folding my arms across my chest.

She doesn't answer as she stands and holds her hand out for me to take. As she lifts me from my seat, she says with confidence, "Because you love me."

I shake my head, but don't refute the assertion. She's right. I do and it's something I don't want to change. "Come on," I say. "It's late and we gotta be at work tomorrow."

"True, but Nikki, still," she says, tipping her chin towards Erica's grave, "Thank you for introducing me to her."

I give her another small smile and tug her back up the hill. I send a small silent prayer up to Erica and hope she understands.

Something tells me that she will and as we reach June Lee, Nora hands over her keys without protest. She offers me a sound, loving kiss, before sliding into the passenger seat.

A little stunned, I look up into the heavens and know that it won't be easy. It never is, but I know it, can feel it in the core of my being, that it's right. Her head pops out the window and she hollers at me, "Quit stargazing, I need to get you home and in a ravished state of undress!"

I roll my eyes at her and toss the keys in my hand up in the air. Catching them, I grin at her, following her direction and thinking that her 'well-ravished' plan seems like the best idea I've ever heard.


End file.
